dealing with anger and other demons

A number of comments by women intrigue me about how they - and those of us of the male persuasion as well - deal with anger, frustrations, rage, anxiety and other often disrupting emotions.

The passionate CEO & President of La Negrita Productions, Sandra Duque [photo] said in an interview, “My art has always been a do or die situation, it's like deciding to become a nun... Growing up I had a lot of rage inside. I was angry at the world, God and life, because I had such a terrible childhood and because we were so poor. College and for the most part my early 20's was a time of self-destruction. Then I found acting. Acting, saved my life.”

> more quotes on the page healing & art

One of the qualities typical of gifted and talented people is termed overexcitability (OE) or simply excitability. As described by writer Sharon Lind in her article Overexcitability and the gifted, people with strong intellectual OE “sometimes appear critical of and impatient with others who cannot sustain their intellectual pace” and emotional OE “is reflected in heightened, intense feelings, extremes of complex emotions... physical responses like stomachaches and blushing...” She adds that people with emotional OE may “carry on inner dialogs and practice self-judgment” and are often accused of "overreacting."

Actor and writer Emma Thompson has admitted, "When I lose my temper, I find it difficult to forgive myself. I feel I've failed. I can be calm in a crisis, in the face of death or things that hurt badly. I don't get hysterical, which may be masochistic of me. But in small matters, I am not calm at all. My worst quality is impatience." [imdb.com bio]

According to research on gifted and talented children [who, of course, grow up to be adults like ms Thompson], they may feel impatient about having no or inadequate challenge; be overly critical of self and others, impatient with failure, perfectionistic, etc - all of which can keep those demons active.

> more in my article Gifted Women: Identity and Expression

In her article Impotent Rage [O, The Oprah Magazine, Oct 2004], Martha Beck writes, “If you're constantly trying to let go of pent-up rage, you've probably spent decades letting your fear convince you to act as if you feel no anger. It's time to let your anger persuade you to act as if you have no fear.

“The first step to being free from impotent anger is to let it tell its whole story, complete with expletives and the occasional chest-thumping roar... A therapist or laid-back friend can be a good sounding board. Because this is asking a lot, I often prefer writing about my anger.”

Beck is author of Breaking Point : Why Women Fall Apart and How They Can Re-create Their Lives

> a related page anger

> my related article on how creative expression can help us deal with our inner demons: The Alchemy of Art