In her article, “How To Stop Being So Hard On Yourself,” excerpted below, creativity coach and expert on highly sensitive living, Jenna Avery explains why sensitive people may be so self-critical, and how we can stop doing so:
Every time I work with a fellow sensitive soul, it seems like we always bump into some kind of fear or limiting belief about not having value in the world, not being good enough, or being “too” something – too sensitive, too emotional, or too dramatic, for instance.
I consistently hear sensitives talk about being afraid people will think they’re crazy, “need help,” or are “high maintenance.”
I also hear sensitives struggling against being sensitive, not wanting to accept it, and wanting instead to learn to get around it or be “cured” somehow. I also hear from sensitives who are still thinking “there’s something wrong with me.”
Why This Happens
This happens because of the deeply internalized negative messages we’ve picked up from the people around us who don’t value high sensitivity. We heard these messages growing up, and we judged ourselves against them. We do it to ourselves now.
We also have incredibly high standards because we can see, like the visionaries we are, the greatest, highest potential in any situation or person, and it can be physically painful when there’s a mismatch between the potential we see and what’s actually happening.
We hold ourselves to these impossible standards as well, and every time something goes “wrong” in our lives, we blame ourselves for not measuring up.
Here’s the Solution
* Finally, deeply, accept who you are,
* Give yourself permission to be sensitive,
* Stop expecting yourself to fit into the mainstream world, and,
* Redesign your life to actually work with your high sensitivity.
Jenna Avery “uses her intuition, deep empathy, and innate practicality to help her visionary, creative clients step fully into their creative ideas, dreams, and ability.”
Read her blog and learn about her programs including Self-Study Classes for Sensitive Souls; Life Purpose Breakthrough Sessions; Voice Your Vision Mastermind Retreat, and the Writer’s Circle at JennaAvery.com.