By Cat Robson
My very well-meaning parents were far from Mommie Dearest.
Nevertheless, they were raised to believe, for instance, that babies shouldn’t be picked up when they cried because comforting them would ‘spoil’ them.
They were very sparing in their compliments, fearing we’d get swelled heads.
We kids survived, but thriving has been a challenge for me, given the sense I had that I was simply not up to snuff.
Morty Lefkoe describes how we can develop this self-limiting belief in his article Is The Lefkoe Belief Process a Fraud?. Here is an excerpt:
To get a sense of how the Lefkoe Belief Process (LBP) works, please try the following mental exercise:
Assume you are a very young child with parents who are very critical of you most of the time and who rarely acknowledge you for your achievements. No matter what you do, they focus on what you didn’t do and how you should have done better…
Really take a moment and imagine this… If this is the pattern of their interactions with you, there literally would be thousands of instances by the time you are six or seven years old. What would you have concluded about yourself by this time?
If you are typical of most children, you would have concluded that There’s something wrong with me, or I’m not good enough.
You would have experienced these beliefs as “the truth” about you as a child. Today, as an adult, even though you might consciously realize the beliefs were silly and illogical, on some deep level you still would experience them as the truth about you.
If you looked carefully at the events that led to the belief, namely, your parents’ behavior, you would realize that their behavior could have a number of different meanings, each one as valid as the one you chose, I’m not good enough.
For example: My parents thought that being critical would motivate me to excel.
Lefkoe goes on to describe more details about this process, and how to change these kinds of beliefs.
In his post Getting Rid of Limiting Beliefs in 30 Minutes, Steven Aitchison, author of the excellent site Change Your Thoughts, recounts a phone consultation he had with Lefkoe:
“After going through an easy cognitive journey through my past, I was able to mentally rid myself of the limiting belief that ‘I am not good enough.’”
Try the Lefkoe Belief Process free at ReCreate Your Life.
Article publié pour la première fois le 22/03/2015