Solitude is not pathology for the high sensitivity personality

Why do people seek to live solitary lives?

Even though I’m often extroverted, I need an awful lot of time by myself to feel comfortable with my life.

Are solitary creatures like me somehow sick, neurotic or abnormal?

The New York Times recently ran a story on someone who has chosen a life that is very isolated compared with most people.

For 16 years, Nick Fahey, 67, has been living on a San Juan island north of Puget Sound, in Washington state, in a cabin on 100 acres that has been in his family since 1930; it has no refrigerator, but there is electricity generated by solar panels, so he has light and can charge his cellphone.

The compulsion to live in isolation can be attributed to any number of factors, said Elaine N. Aron, a psychologist and the author of “The Undervalued Self” and “The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You.”

Some people might “really need their downtime,” Dr. Aron said, and seek out “isolation that avoids all social intercourse.” Others may have developed an “avoidant attachment style” in childhood, resulting in “a need to prove to themselves that they don’t need anybody,” she said.

For many people, though, the desire for extreme solitude may have simpler roots, she noted: “It could be because they want a mystical experience. You can’t pathologize that.”

When it comes to striking out alone in the wilderness, however, men may be more inclined to do that than women, said John T. Cacioppo, director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago [and author of Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection].

“In our culture, there is this mythic individualism that we cherish,” said Dr. Cacioppo, who studies the biological and cognitive effects of isolation. “That’s particularly true for men — they are supposed to be an island unto themselves. They take that myth more seriously and try to pursue it.”

“I’m not a misanthropic recluse sort of guy,” Fahey said. “I just know that I’d rather be here by myself.”

Once a week, though, he does venture to Anacortes, a town on the mainland, 10 miles away by boat, to visit his 99-year-old father in an assisted-living home and to see his girlfriend, Deborah Martin, whom he has been dating for 15 years.

Continued (with stories of other people) in Embracing a Life of Solitude, By Sarah Maslin Nir.

Solitude can help in developing creativity.

George Orwell chose to write Nineteen Eighty-Four while living in Barnhill (in 1947), an abandoned farmhouse on the isle of Jura in the Inner Hebrides.

Photo is from the post Places to be Creative – environment and creative potential.

Musician Ani DiFranco produced her album, “Educated Guess,” entirely on her own. An interviewer asked, “Your approach, your energy on the current tour and on the new album seem different. Why is that?”