victim mindset, managing stress, anxiety relief programs, Wealth Mindset, pursuing an exceptional life
The victim mindset
“The components of anxiety, stress, fear, and anger do not exist independently of you in the world. They simply do not exist in the physical world, even though we talk about them as if they do.”
That quote by Wayne Dyer – in his book Real Magic: Creating Miracles in Everyday Life – is a reminder that it is we ourselves who create stress over anything “out there” that happens.
Becoming more mindful of how we think about events can help shift toward living with less turmoil, relieve anxiety and keep us more resilient and growing, capable of change and achievement.
In his article A Brilliant Stress Relief Technique To Bring You Calm, Chris Green points out, “You and I both have a belief about who and what we are. Indeed, everybody does.
“Many different events happen to you throughout your life and it is how you assign meanings to these events that forms the belief you have about yourself.
“If you view these events negatively, you can form a victim mindset, a mindset that will send stress levels soaring and cause you misery for a long time.”
Make it a blessing
He goes on to describe an old friend of his who was forced to change jobs because his company was “streamlining.”
“He was assigned to a new job, he really struggled with it, he didn’t get along with his new boss who eventually moved my friend to another department, on a lower salary.
“Gary changed dramatically. He was no longer a nice guy content with his life but a very angry, bitter person who deeply resented what had happened to him… He had chosen to be a victim and he was taking it out on everyone.”
Green says, “Whatever has happened to you in life you can have but two effects on you. It can either be a curse or a blessing. If you choose to believe an event has made you a victim, then it will be a curse on you for a long time.
“Choose instead, to make it a blessing, even if you were really hard done by. Because when you choose to make it a blessing it will never ever make you a victim and rob years from your life, as the change of job robbed precious years from my old friend.”
[Photo: Josh Kornbluth – from his film Haiku Tunnel (2001)]
Be an elitist
t isn’t just an event itself like a job loss, or having to go into foreclosure etc etc that can fuel anxiety and despair, it may be all kinds of messages from other people, from media, and just from living in a consumer culture.
In her SUCCESS Magazine article Now What?, Mel Robbins warns, “Even if the economy doesn’t get as bad as I fear it will, the media will constantly remind you that doomsday is right around the corner.
“The more freaked out they can get you, the more you will tune in for updates. Panic sells, and it’s hard to not be sucked into the vortex. If you buy into the hype, you’re screwed.”
She goes on to note, “A Wealth Mindset looks at a recession differently — through the lens of opportunity…
“Adopting the Wealth Mindset means less worry and stress. You’ll be happier because you will be in control of your life. This isn’t just about business. This is about improving your life.
“Elitism is the secret ingredient of the Wealth Mindset.
“No, you don’t have to become a snob. You no longer fall victim to groupthink. What applies to everyone else—doesn’t apply to you. You play by your rules. You do things your way—always have, always will. You now act instead of react. This is the mindset of an elite few.”
[Photo from her site: Make It Happen with Mel Robbins]
Her use of the word “elitism” is very interesting; it usually is a word with a number of negative connotations such as “favored treatment” or “entitlement” – but Robbins uses it in the sense of being a unique person, a leader, someone who lives more fully and successfully by virtue of their courage to be authentic and self-directed.
And the negative connotations of “elitism” may subtly or not so subtly influence us to stay too comfortable, too safe, too “normal.”
Hurray for square pegs!
One of the missions of this site (Talent Development Resources) is to celebrate people who do manage to go beyond groupthink and herd behavior and grow to be exceptional contributors to society.
But that can involve anxiety for many people.
For example, some – maybe most – of the years I spent working at “cubicle jobs” increased my anxieties about trying to fit in with various corporate cultures and “be a grownup” by working “normal” jobs – all the while knowing at some level I was not “normal” enough to be satisfied doing that, or to ever fit in that way.
If you are also different and creative enough to have awareness and a mindset beyond the standard-issue variety, make good use of it. Run in front.