by Jenna Avery, CLC, Life Coach for Sensitive Souls

Sensitives are often unknowingly affected by the energy, emotions, and desires of others. This can be both confusing and overstimulating because we are unable to distinguish whether we're operating from our own center or someone else's.

I believe that it's critically important for sensitive souls to learn how to protect themselves and to clear away the energy and emotions of other people.

One key aspect is setting good boundaries. Many of us get into trouble when we try to take care of other people first.

Often this comes at the cost of our own wellbeing. I believe this is due, in part, to our empathic nature. We easily see and feel what others need and want, so it's easy to get confused about "what's mine, what's yours."

An important first step in establishing healthy boundaries is learning to let go of taking responsibility for other people's lives, desires, and emotional responses.

It helps me to focus on the spiritual truth that people are on the right and perfect path for themselves, even when they are "clearly not."

What I mean when I say this is that if, to my eye or ego-self, people seem to be making huge mistakes or are in desperate need of rescuing, I take a spiritual step back.

I remind myself that this may be exactly the personal challenge that the person needs to fully attain their own soul purpose or to learn their life lessons. And, most importantly, that my interference just may prevent that achievement.

My teacher, Sonia Choquette, says: "Ultimately, an overly empathic heart may be a vote of no-confidence in those you love and care about."

This is a good reminder to honor the ability that those around us have to take care of themselves. What we can do, instead, is focus on taking care of our own lives and modeling that for other people.

By being responsible for yourself, you create a safe space for others to discover their own power.

This doesn't mean that you can't assist others. But it does mean that it's worth getting their permission or their request for assistance first.

Then, see if you can focus on helping them to discover their own solutions -- that's true empowerment. I'm reminded of the old saying that if you give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day; but if you teach him to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime.

Don't rescue, don't overly identify. Do stay in your power, model empowerment by caring for yourself, and support others to do the same.

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Copyright July 2005, Jennifer Avery, All rights reserved.

Jenna Avery is a highly sensitive coach and intuitive who offers an original coaching program called Embrace Your Essential Self, designed to guide sensitive souls to find a deep sense of inner rightness within themselves so they are inspired to step forward and shine.

Jenna is a Certified Life Coach based in Berkeley, California. She can be reached at 510.528.1696. You’re invited to take her free online assessment: "Is Your Sensitivity Working For You?" on her website at www.highlysensitivesouls.com

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related pages on Talent Development Resources :

intensity / sensitivity

High sensitivity resources : articles sites books

Highly Sensitive  blog

GT Adults giftedness

giftedness : articles

giftedness : books..

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