Soothing Anxious Thoughts about Work

Whether your job is new or one you've had for years, anxious thoughts can get in the way of work enjoyment and effectiveness.

When an anxious thought about work rears its head, follow these three easy steps:

1) First, recognize your anxious thought.
2) Second, recognize why the anxious thought is false.
3) Third, replace it with a positive, more realistic thought.

Make it a daily habit to replace your anxious thoughts with more positive, healthier ones. Over time you'll find that your reality and your world become a calmer, happier place.

(Our Conquer Anxiety Success Program goes in-depth into several types of anxious thought patterns -- what-if thinking, all-or-nothing thinking, personalizing, and many more. It teaches you how to replace anxious patterns with healthier thoughts using cognitive-behavioral therapy principles.)

After each anxious thought I've noted one or two reasons why the thought is false, and I've included more realistic, positive replacement thoughts. You can use this same 1-2-3 process for any anxious thought, not only the ones included here.

You may want to use index cards to help you practice your positive self-talk. Write one anxious thought on the front of the card, and a few corresponding "positive self-talk"
statements on the back of the card. Take the index cards with you in your purse or briefcase.

Whenever you start telling yourself anxious thoughts about work, flip the card over that matches your anxious thought and use positive self-talk to soothe your fears. You'll have
the tools you need right in front of you.

Why this is not true:
The fact is, you CAN learn to do your job well. Look at it this way. You have many of the skills and abilities to do the job successfully or you wouldn't have been hired in the first place. If you were terrible, you wouldn't be there.

Positive self-talk:
"I have many of the skills and abilities needed to succeed at this job."

Anxious thought:
"What if I have a panic attack (feel shortness of breath, shake, get flushed, tremble, and so on) at work? I'll be so embarrassed and people will think I'm crazy!"

Why this is not true:
By tuning into your anxious feelings when they are at a less intense level, you can usually calm yourself and avoid a panic attack at work.

If you do not catch the anxious feelings soon enough and have a panic attack, chances are most people will not even realize what's occurring. The few people that notice something will probably think you're feeling nervous, NOT crazy. Because we all feel nervous at times, they probably won't think anything of it.

Positive self-talk to combat the "What if I have a panic attack ...." part:
"So what if I have a panic attack at work? Although these sensations might be uncomfortable, I know they are harmless."

"If I have a panic attack at work, I'll accept it and float through it. Once the panic attack subsides, I'll continue on with my day at work. I CAN do it!"

Positive self-talk to combat the "I'll be so embarrassed and people will think I'm crazy..." part: "Most people do not even notice my anxious feelings. I notice my symptoms more than other people do."

"The anxious feelings and feeling of embarrassment will lessen in a few minutes. My coworkers feel embarrassed sometimes too, so it's OK. They can understand how I'm
feeling. Feeling embarrassed may feel uncomfortable, yet it is harmless. I am OK."

"The few people that recognize my panic attacks for what they are likely know someone that has anxiety or have experienced it themselves. So chances are good that they will be compassionate and understanding."

"If someone notices that I act differently or look nervous for a few minutes (during the panic attack), so what? That doesn't mean they think I'm crazy. I know I'm completely sane.

I simply suffer from anxiety. Besides, my coworkers act oddly in their own way sometimes too, and I don't think THEY'RE crazy, so I doubt they'll think that about me."

Anxious thought:
"Everyone is going to find out that I'm not as talented as they think and I'll get fired."

Why this is not true:
You ARE talented. You are probably feeling anxious because you are expecting yourself to be "the best person that's done this job ever, in any universe."

In other words, you're expecting more from yourself than your bosses and coworkers are expecting. You have unrealistic self-expectations. As I mentioned earlier, you wouldn't have the job if you did not show some ability and talent to be successful at it.

Most employers don't fire people that have a few weak skills. Instead, they help you to improve because they invested time and money training you and know that you can be a valuable asset to the company.

Positive self-talk to combat the "I'm not as talented as they think..." part:
"Just because I don't know it ALL doesn't mean I'm not talented. I AM talented and competent."

Positive self-talk to combat the "Everyone is going to find out..." part:
"So what if coworkers find out I'm not perfect? It's no big secret. After all, they aren't perfect either!"

Positive self-talk to combat the "I'll get fired..." part:
"People usually aren't fired for being imperfect. After all, nobody is perfect."

"My coworkers and bosses aren't perfect and they still have THEIR jobs. So why would my situation be any different? The company has a vested interested in helping me to succeed."

Why this is not true:
It's a natural stress response to feel like you must run or flee when you're feeling intense anxiety. That's why our bodies' natural stress reaction is called the "fight or FLIGHT" response.

The important thing to remember is that while anxious feelings can be scary and uncomfortable, they are not harmful or dangerous. Your body is sounding a false alarm.

Even though the anxious sensations may be uncomfortable, you are not trapped, and there is no need to flee. You are safe.

As I mentioned earlier, make it a goal to tune into your anxious feelings when they are at a lower level. That way you can catch the fight or flight response before it becomes panic.

Positive self-talk:
"My body is simply sounding a false alarm. I am safe in this space. Each moment the desire to flee lessens more and more until it fades away completely."

"Although these sensations may be uncomfortable, I know they will lessen in a few minutes. I know they are harmless and I am completely OK."

Anxious thought:
"What if I blow this project? I can't afford to make a mistake!"

Why this is not true:
The fact that you care about the project means that you are dedicated and conscientious about the quality of your work. This sets you apart from many workers.

The people that worry most about work quality are typically the ones that are very talented and competent. When they make a mistake it is usually not because of lack of skills or effort, but because they are too hard on themselves. They are overachievers.

The extra pressure they put on themselves to be superhumanly perfect is a heavy anchor that weighs them down, wastes their productive energy, and limits their success.

Realize that you are indeed competent. Not perfect. Competent. Some of the most successful, competent business people of our time have made huge mistakes.

What makes them successful is that instead of being afraid of making a mistake, they realize that mistakes are learning opportunities. They leverage mistakes to reach greater pinnacles of success.

"I will be more successful if I stop worrying about making mistakes and cut myself a little slack."

"When I make a mistake, it's OK. I am still a competent, successful professional."

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Deanne Repich is the Founder of the National Institute of Anxiety and Stress, Inc. An anxiety educator, teacher, and former anxiety sufferer, she created the Conquer Your Anxiety Success Program, a simple, action-oriented "how-to" course that has helped thousands across the globe conquer their anxiety.

ConquerAnxiety.com
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