"The larger world does not connect ADD with giftedness at all," Tolan notes. "Occasionally they mention creativity. And ADD is now the current 'in' thing to be as an adult, as well..."

Self-identification as a gifted adult is complicated by the great diversity among the gifted adult population. What does a gifted adult look like? Unfortunately, for many gifted adults, it looks like somebody else. Using a metaphor of Dots and Spaces, the author explains how we tend to see our own deficits (spaces) but others' gifts (dots). This negatively affects self-esteem and often causes gifted assets to be viewed as mere "weirdness."

Unfortunately, the calls I do get make it clear that neither more information nor a greater sense of community has eradicated parental desperation.  Life for highly gifted children and their families can still be enormously difficult.  What the parents who call me are dealing with is pain -- often intense pain -- their children’s and their own.

The experience of the gifted adult is the experience of an unusual consciousness, an extraordinary mind whose perceptions and judgments may be different enough to require an extraordinary courage.