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Avoiding the
platitudes and simple solutions
By
Andrew Neitlich, Center for Executive Coaching
Wonderful! The Wall Street Journal recently featured an article called,
“Not
communicating with Your boss? Count your blessings.”
The wisdom in this article offers a fantastic criticism of much advice
that some executive coaches spew.
For
instance:
- Asking “How can I help?” can be a good thing to do, but can also
offend certain people by implying they need help.
- Paraphrasing what people say to show you are listening can make you
sound like an idiot and offend others (who may not appreciate being
paraphrased).
- Some problems between people can’t be solved by 5-step formulas
or action plans.
- Open communication can backfire with easily threatened managers, or
managers with borderline personalities.
- Don’t confuse communication problems with much more serious
relationship problems. The latter requires much more nuanced
understanding and actions.
- Don’t confuse talking with doing. Results speak the loudest.
- Sometimes no communication is much better than communication — even
if, for instance, a boss asks for open communication and feedback.
(The
article gives the example of a boss who asked a manager for feedback
about why his direct reports seemed fearful of him. When she explained
why people reacted the way they did to him, he almost fired her).
At the Center for Executive Coaching, we do our best to avoid
platitudes (the article notes one article on communication that
advises, “Listen to gain understanding”) and instead focus on real-life
situations in all of their complexity.
The
best coaches avoid lazy advice, and have the depth of experience
required to help their clients succeed in challenging, politically
charged, and often dysfunctional environments.
See
the site for training programs :
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Also see More
articles by Center for Executive
Coaching.
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