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Being
Creative and Self-critical
by Douglas Eby
Healthy
criticism can help refine our talents and creative projects in the
pursuit of excellence. But when it is based on a excessive
perfectionism or an unrealistic self concept, criticism can be
destructive and self-limiting, eroding our creative assurance and
vitality.
Many creative people, even when they have achieved
recognition for their talents, may experience self-critical thoughts
and insecurity.
Irish writer John Banville, just before
receiving The Booker Prize, considered the world's most prestigious
award for new fiction, was sure he would not win; "I tend to think all
my books are bad,” he said.
Many talented film actors
report they don’t watch their own movies. When you can be seen in
close-ups on twenty foot high theater screens, it may be especially
hard not to criticize your appearance and performance. Joaquin Phoenix
has said he doesn't like how his teeth look, or his lips. Kate Winslet
has admitted that before going off to a movie shoot, she sometimes
thinks, “I’m a fraud, and they're going to fire me... I'm
fat; I'm ugly.”
Highly creative and talented people are,
according to research on giftedness, often susceptible to perfectionism
and unreasonably high standards and expectations that can lead to
exaggerated criticism.
Lesley Sword, director of Gifted and
Creative Services, in Australia, finds that gifted children are
“highly self critical and over reactive to the criticism of
others. They express dissatisfaction with themselves; they see what
‘ought to be’ in themselves... They have a vision of
perfectionism that they measure themselves against and they can become
despondent sometimes even depressed, at their perceived failure.”
Children
who have strong abilities may get praised for their creative projects,
but miss out on learning that criticism may be helpful, or that
perseverance and time are needed to develop talents fully. Then as
adults, when their painting or book or movie does not come together
quickly or “perfectly” enough, they can be harshly critical
of themselves.
And standards for what is “good”
creative work have typically been developed by males, based on male
values and male artists, rather than recognizing women as having equal,
though perhaps different, creative sensibilities.
Impostor
feelings can also accompany or lead to self-criticism. Jonathan Safran
Foer, author of the novel Everything Is Illuminated, said, “I can
be very hard on myself. I convince myself that I'm fooling people. Or,
I convince myself that people like the book for the wrong
reasons.”
Ideas about identity can also be limiting.
Director Jane Campion, praised for "The Piano" and other films, once
commented, "I never have had the confidence to approach film making
straight on. I just thought it was something done by geniuses, and I
was very clear that I wasn't one of those."
Another example is
Nobel Prize winner poet and writer Czeslaw Milosz, who once said,
“From early on writing for me has been a way to overcome my real
or imagined worthlessness.”
These are not unusual cases,
according to researchers. Many people with exceptional abilities
experience complex feelings including inadequacy and inferiority, and
critical self-evaluation.
In her book The Gifted Adult,
Mary-Elaine Jacobsen writes about common judgments people often hear
from others - disparaging comments that over time can be taken on as
self-criticism: "Why don't you slow down?"; "You worry about
everything!"; "Can't you just stick with one thing?": "You're so
sensitive and dramatic!"; "You have to do everything the hard way!"
One
way to counter such criticism from others, and yourself, may be to use
some humor. In the witty tv series “Bones,” cocky FBI Agent
Seeley Booth (played by David Boreanaz) often makes snide remarks about
forensic anthropologist Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan (Emily
Deschanel), such as “We call you people ‘squints,’
because they're always squinting at things.”
And she
retorts, “You mean people with high IQs and basic reasoning
skills?” In another scene, he expresses impatience with her
self-assurance: “You are such a smartass,” and she comes
right back with, “Yes, I am smart, but it has nothing to do with
my ass.”
This is a form of the approach used in cognitive
behavioral therapy to help people overcome depression, anxiety and
other challenges: becoming aware of self-critical and negative
thoughts, examining them carefully and logically, then editing or
rephrasing them.
These thoughts are often irrational beliefs
about how life is or how we "should be” and they can become
habitual responses to stressful situations, and often too broad to be
accurate.
For example, you may think, “I’m too
sensitive.” Well, what does that really mean? Too sensitive for
what? Maybe it’s just there are situations that cause you more
discomfort than you want to put up with. Amy Brenneman [star of
“Judging Amy”] was once said, “I'm too sensitive to
watch most of the reality shows. It's so painful for me.”
But
that is a much more concrete and specific, and therefore real,
statement than simply “I’m too sensitive.” And being
sensitive, after all, can be a virtue for anyone.
Some people
find carefully crafted affirmations placed where you can regularly read
them can counteract unrealistic and self-limiting criticism and
thinking.
One way to modulate self-critical statements is to
ask, If you made this kind of comment to your friend or child, would it
be helpful to them? Would it encourage and support them?
And
some critical thinking can be positive, when it isn’t extreme,
compulsive or unreal. As actor Will Smith noted, “I keep going
because I doubt myself. It drives me to be better... It makes me
excel.”
Geena Davis, playing the lead in the tv series
“Commander in Chief” thinks “you could scratch the
surface of most actors and find insecurity played a big part in their
drive to become successful."
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Many
professional and recreational athletes have found
listening to the Self-Esteem
Supercharger before a game or match improves their performance.
Professional soccer player Michael Cestone says, "I had tried
subliminal tapes with limited results, so I had to try the Paraliminals
because they were different.
"I was desperately looking for something to help me prepare for the
season. I noticed results immediately.
"The first time I used the tape I felt more focused and was able to
read the game better, as well as make faster decisions. That was only
the beginning.
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More details about the above program on
Personal
Growth Information
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