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As a psychiatrist who specializes in intuition, I know that a very powerful life lesson is learning how to attract positive relationships and situations toward us.

Our relationships aren't random. We must begin to use our intuition to actively draw what's positive our way, a people skill most of our parents didn't know or teach us.

We've learned to draw conclusions from surface data: how nice someone seems, looks, education. But attraction goes deeper; to make it work for you, other ingredients must be considered.

Here is a general guideline of body-based intuitions. Use this checklist at a first meeting, to troubleshoot problems if you're already involved, or to access opportunities.

A signature energy always accompanies situations or people. Remember the Lil' Abner jinxed cartoon character who always had a black cloud hanging over his head? Not a vibe that bodes well for positive outcomes.

Instead, you must learn to gravitate toward brightness, a positive intuition your body will affirm. When tuning into vibes, take a few quiet moments to go into sensing mode, not intellectual analysis. Look for these signs.

Positive Intuitions About Relationships or Situations

* a feeling of comforting familiarity or brightness; you may sense you've known the person before, as with the experience of deja-vu

* you breathe easier, chest and shoulders are relaxed, gut is calm

* you find yourself leaning forward, not defensively crossing your arms or edging away to keep a distance

* your heart opens; you feel safe, peaceful, energized, expansive, or alive

* you're at ease with a person's touch, whether a hand shake, hug, or during intimacy

Negative Intuitions About Relationships or Situations

* a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach or increased stomach acid, which may prompt an unpalatable deja-vu

* your skin starts crawling, you're jumpy, instinctively withdraw if touched

* shoulder muscles are in knots, chest area or throat constricts; you notice aggravated aches or pains

* the hair on the back of your neck creepily stands on end

* a sense of malaise, darkness, pressure, agitation, or being drained

These signs provide a no-nonsense appraisal of your body's comfort zone.

(The more positive intuitions, the better; even one can be definitive, but nagging negatives often mean "watch out and go slow.")

They'll lead you to friends, lovers, and work milieus with positive energy.

Plus, you'll know when to cool it or exit in the face of blatant warnings. Listen to these signs, and your choices in relationships will become smarter and more intuitively informed.

Judith Orloff, M.D. is a psychiatrist and author of the bestseller Positive Energy: 10 Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress, and Fear intoVibrance, Strength & Love, and author of the bestsellers "Guide to Intuitive Healing" and "Second Sight."

She is an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, has a private practice in Los Angeles, and leads workshops on intuition, energy, and medicine. For more information about Dr. Orloff's workshops and books, visit http://www.drjudithorloff.com

Also by Judith Orloff, MD.: The Power of Intuition [audio]

Also see interview with Judith Orloff [by Douglas Eby]

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