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How to Build Your Self-Confidence and Live
a Better Life!
by Bob Griswold
& Jeff Griswold
It’s no secret that self-confidence is very important to achieving
success in any area of life.
The thing about
self-confidence is that
it’s very sensitive to our personal experience and is inherently
unstable, which means that low self-confidence tends to get lower and
high self-confidence tends to improve.
In other words,
your
self-confidence experiences a “snowball effect.”
How the “Negative Snowball” Works
1. If you start out with low self-confidence, you’re less likely to
take on challenges or try new things.
2. On the rare
occasion that you try to accomplish something your low
self-confidence can sabotage your efforts, and you’re much less likely
to succeed.
3. Your lack of
success reinforces your low self-confidence.
4. Then, it’s back
to step 1, and the cycle repeats, limiting your
ability to live a better life.
How the “Positive Snowball” Works
1. If you have self-confidence, you’re more likely to try new things.
2. When you attempt
something with confidence in your abilities, you’re
very likely to succeed.
3. As a result,
your success increases your self-confidence.
4. Return to step
1, and repeat until you reach your full potential!
Wearing a Groove into Your Brain
At the risk of oversimplifying a phenomenally complex process, what’s
happening in your brain is that these snowball cycles “wear a groove”
through the vast array of neurons and synapses.
Neurologically, you
are
physically carving a path of least resistance through your brain. With
enough reinforcement you develop a reflex to certain kinds of stimuli.
For example, if a smoker tries to quit smoking and fails--and he allows
a negative snowball cycle to take place--he’ll lose confidence in his
ability to quit, and he’ll eventually develop a negative reflex to the
idea of quitting.
Once that happens,
if anyone suggests that he quit or
someone offers a new way to try to quit, his brain will automatically
reject the possibility. In his brain the mere suggestion of quitting
will trigger an impulse that will follow that well-worn path of least
resistance, the path that equates “trying to quit” with “failure.”
This works the other way, too. A positive snowball cycle will wear a
groove that creates a positive reflex.
We’ve all known
people who
exhibit this--they’re the ones who are eager to try anything and seem
to succeed at everything. On the rare occasion that they fail they are
undeterred.
The positive reflexes they’ve created in their brains allow them to
learn from their mistakes and equate failure with “I’ll do even better
next time!”
How Does the Low Self-Confidence
Cycle Start?
Unfortunately, virtually everyone has been programmed from childhood
with negatives that make him believe that he can’t do things that he’s
innately capable of doing.
A lot of it is
self-imposed programming. If
we fail to do something perfectly the first time we try, it’s only
human nature to begin to believe that we can’t do it.
Fortunately, when some people are told that they can’t do something,
they refuse to accept that programming and go on to prove that they
indeed can.
For example,
* Beethoven’s teacher said that he was hopeless as a composer.
* Thomas Edison’s
teachers said that he was too stupid to learn
anything.
* Leo Tolstoy, the
author of War and Peace, was told that he couldn’t
learn.
* Albert Einstein
didn’t speak until he was four and didn’t read until
he was seven. His teacher called him mentally slow.
Each and every one of us has given up on at least one thing because we
lacked the confidence to try! The world has undoubtedly been robbed of
the great contributions of countless gifted people because of such
negativity.
The good news is that a negative self-confidence cycle is completely
reversible! You can learn how to eliminate existing negative thought
reflexes and replace them with positive thought reflexes.
There are
several effective techniques for building self-confidence. Among them,
positive affirmations are possibly the most powerful and easiest to use.
Using Positive Affirmations to
Build Self-Confidence
Positive affirmations are carefully worded positive statements that are
designed to establish new thinking patterns in your mind. Using
affirmations is a very effective way to build self-confidence.
It seems
simple, and initially, it can actually be a little uncomfortable, but
remember that what you’re trying to do is to wear a new groove into
your brain. You’re trying to create a new path of least resistance and
establish a positive reflex in your mind.
The way to use affirmations is to repeat the statements to yourself
(out loud or silently). When you repeat an affirmation, feel it,
believe it,
and know it! Put some positive emotion into it.
Emotion-backed
programming is the most powerful and long lasting. Allow yourself to
experience
feelings of joy, satisfaction, power, and self-confidence as you recite
each affirmation. Make each one a true part of your reality.
Use your favorite affirmations routinely throughout the day, and really
feel them. You will eventually make a quantum leap.
You will suddenly
be far beyond the doubts that accompany wishing, hoping, daydreaming,
and even believing. You will enter the zone of knowing.
When you enter the zone of knowing, supreme self-confidence is
automatically there. All doubt is gone. You know you can do it. When
you enter the zone of knowing, your self-confidence is unshakable, and
your untapped potential is released. You feel invincible!
Another great way to use affirmations is to say them while looking in a
mirror. Say them with feeling, and soon, you’ll become aware of how
powerful your eyes are.
We send messages
with our eyes that show how we
think of ourselves and how self-confident we are, and that influences
how others respond to us. The more our eyes bespeak self-confidence and
self-esteem, the more other people are likely to hold us in high esteem.
As you practice your affirmations in the mirror, you’ll see this in
your own eyes, and soon, others will feel the confidence that you
project.
Start Today
You can use many other powerful techniques to improve your
self-confidence and build your self-esteem, but this will get you
started in the right direction. Remember that repetition and positive
emotions are critical to changing the way you think.
Employ whatever resources you need to commit to improving your
self-confidence.
Whether it’s an
audio program or help from your
friends, family, or therapist, your self-confidence is too important to
allow it to wither away.
Be confident that
you can improve your
confidence, and it will change your life.
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About the Authors:
Bob and Jeff Griswold are contributing authors to the compilation book "101 Great
Ways to Improve Your Life" and the Founder and President,
respectively, of Effective
Learning Systems, Inc., the leading creator
of audio CDs and tapes for personal development and self-improvement:
Related
audio program:
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