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How I Got More Confidence & Really Began to Seize the Day

by Suzanne Falter-Barns

Recently I got an email from a reader noting that I seemed much more confident in the last year. She was wondering what, exactly, I’d done to build my self- esteem and if that was something she could do as well.

Well, first of all, I’m highly flattered – and secretly pleased! (“They noticed! They noticed!”) Somehow one’s self-confidence is kind of a squirrely, private thing; at my ripe old age of 47, you should have this handled, right?

But the fact is that old scars take a long time to heal, so as ever, I’ve been plugging away, building my confidence one step at a time. And now I’m seeing major results.

I’ve built my business to twice the level it was at a year ago. I’ve helped a quantum number more people as well.

My marriage and my life are happier than ever, and best of all, I’m no longer haunted by an out-of-control feeling of not knowing quite what to do next to run my business.

In fact, I’m having more fun than ever.

Here are some of the steps I took that made this happen:

   1. Hired a coach who seemed out of my league. I’d often stayed close to what I knew in the coaching realm, until I connected with a business coach, Rich Schefren, who builds multi-million dollar businesses.

Rich now works with Internet marketers like myself to help them work less, make more, and create a business plan that’s smart and efficient. It was a huge leap to go with Rich – more money, for sure … and frankly, the guy just seemed ‘out of my league’. (“Who … me? Million dollar business?”)

In fact, his coaching is directly responsible for some of the most amazing growth I’ve ever experienced. You can read his Small Business Manifesto which is going great guns virally on the Net right now. It’s at www.getknownnow.com/manifesto

   2. Hired a staff who do things better than I do. At Rich’s urging I stopped trying to wear a hundred hats myself, took the plunge and created a staff of four who really run my business for me.

Lorraine Carol is our Operations Consultant who takes care of my schedule, our stock, our product creation, customer service, and generally keeps things running. Peggy “Done!” Murrah is our fast, efficient web and blog guru who totally rocks. Jill Chongva is a our marketing VA who helps me coordinate our many promotions and JV’s, and puts our articles out on the Web.

And Raquel Morphy is our Financial Consultant, and has provided me with the most gorgeously detailed bookkeeping and invoicing I’ve ever had. Things are working gloriously well.

   3. Got crystal clear on what this year is about, and focused like mad. This year is about really giving my Get Known Now and How Much Joy businesses the systems they need to work smoothly.

And the products to keep people connected to my work, and accomplishing what they want. I’m not performing on stage at the moment, I’ve dropped my extraneous activities, and I’m working hard but happily.

   4. Gave myself permission to go much bigger. It all started when I plunked down $2000 last fall to go to The Big Seminar in L.A.. An outrageous sum of money, I thought, “so this better be good!”

All the while I had grave doubts, but it was good. Really good. And it felt like an enormous gift to myself. There I connected with several important JV partners and found my coach (see point #1.)

   5. Began telling myself “I love you” every morning. Believe me, I know this sounds goofy. I felt REALLY silly the first dozen times I did this, but I made a point of doing it first thing in the morning before I could get ‘too busy’.

I’d simply look myself in the eye in the mirror and say those magic words over and over until I could really feel the love. This, perhaps, has made the biggest difference in my personal level of success.

   6. Reprogrammed my thinking with regular affirmations. This was a trick I’d heard about from my friend Chellie Campbell, who’s been working with affirmations for many years and having awesome results.

I typed up a page of 65 affirmations, which I say to myself in the mirror every morning after my ‘I love you’s’. Put simply, they work. I’ve manifested about half of my 65 things already.

   7. Decided I could do things that always seemed impossible. Point in case: learning the piano. A few years ago my dear husband Larry gave me a Clavinova – a Yamaha electric piano that does just about everything but make coffee, including teaching you how to play it.

As a child I played piano by ear for hours every day and loved it; then I tried conventional lessons and quit altogether. So I always assumed learning the piano for me would be ‘impossible’.

Thanks to the Clavinova’s great teaching system, I now play with both hands and have whipped through three instruction books in 6 short weeks.

   8. Surrounded myself with more love. In the last year, I’ve made a point of seeking out the quirky wonderful souls out there who are really like me, and honoring the less conventional aspects of my personality.

I have several excellent new friendships, enjoy my spot in the Universe as a less-than- conventional person, and literally feel at times like I’m bathing in pure love.

   9. Followed my gut even if what it told me was scary. It’s what I learned in Outward Bound … again. (See my viral edition of my book How Much Joy Can You Stand? to snag that particular story. Details below.)

This year has presented me with scarier than usual challenges more than once, and I’ve risen to embrace them. Old lesson again: what seems scary at the outset isn’t bad at all once you’re in it.

There you have it. So now try a few and go get ‘em!

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From newsletter: The Joy Letter 142 July 14, 2006

SOURCES OF JOY:
how much joyHow Much Joy Can You Stand? – The Viral Version
I recently got back the rights to my original book about joy and creativity, How Much Joy Can You Stand’. I love this book – it’s been the teacher responsible for launching me on the path I’m still on, quite happily, ten years after I wrote it.

And it’s moved more than 100,000 people to embrace their dreams and fill their lives with more joy. Want to read it? I’m making a beautiful, viral version available for fre.e for the time being – or until my financial advisors convince me to knock it off! Download your free copy now.

See her site for the book, free newsletter and other resources:
How Much Joy - Practical tools for creative dreamers - Learn Your  Purpose, Live Your Joy

 

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Suzanne Falter-Barns is author of the books: 
How Much Joy Can You Stand : A Creative Guide 
to Facing Your Fears and Making Your Dreams Come True

Living Your Joy: A Practical Guide to Happiness

and founder of coaching resources site: 
HowMuchJoy.com - Learn Your Purpose. Live Your Joy

Also see her programs:
Get Known Now - Helping Your Practice, Book
or Small Business Reach Millions

Fill Your Groups Now

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