Manage Your Fears: Seven Steps to Freedom

by Cynthia Morris

Choosing between love and fear: It is a great concept, and one that is often impossible to live.

What makes it impossible is not one's inability to choose one over the other, but that fear is inevitable.

In most situations where we are reaching for something new, fear is present. I learned from a wise teacher that we do not get rid of fear before we do something, but that we go into the situation with the fear.

I had confessed to her that I wanted to act, to be on-stage, but that I was afraid. She said, take the fear with you.

The next thing I knew, I had auditioned for a play and not only gotten a part, but the lead! I had never felt such happiness, and fear, which went with me to every rehearsal and performance.

I survived, and learned a lot in the process about what I was capable of when I did not let my fear stop me from even trying.

Remembering this has helped me innumerable times. It is something I help my clients to see. As we reach, we are also confronted with the underlying possibilities of what could go wrong.

Here are seven steps that I use to help clients to manage their fears:

1) Acknowledge that you are afraid. Most of us are, and the challenge of juicy living is to know you are afraid but still willing to play big.

2) Identify the fear(s). Get clear about what it is you are really afraid of. Keep digging until you recognize the foundation fear.

3) Recall a time when you had fear and went forward anyway. What worked for you to move despite the fear?

4) Choose meaningful action. Fear loathes a moving target. Keep in action toward your goals.

5) Get support. Who do you have in your life that can help you recognize your strengths and move beyond your weaknesses?

6) Know that you are not your fears or limiting beliefs about yourself. Stay clear that fear is a state of mind, not your identity.

7) Have fun with it. Even the most serious of endeavors is helped by lightheartedness.

Practically every day I find myself in situations where I recognize that I have a fear. I know that I thrive on challenge, and that fear is naturally a part of this process.

Once I use one or more of these steps, I am able to move forward. The relief and reward after I have done something that is scary far outweighs the fear.

Challenge: What fears have you allowed to run your life? What would you be doing if fear were not in charge? Brainstorm a list of five things you would do if managing your fear were a part of the process. 

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