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Planning Your Escape: What to do when your
job is doing you in
by Neil Fiore, PhD If all
day long you're saying to yourself: "This job is driving me crazy and
making me sick." you may need to quit and find a better job. But
you haven't because another pesky voice keeps saying: "You can't just
quit. You have to keep this job you hate because of our credit card
bills, mortgage, family, and because you don't want the worry of
looking for another job without health-care benefits. Let's face it,
you're stuck here." It
doesn't take long for this form of negative self-hypnosis to lead to
difficulty getting out of bed on Monday morning to face the commute to
work. After
awhile you might even begin to feel a sense of anxiety on Sunday
afternoon that leads to another sleepless night. This
is the time to seriously consider a strategic plan for leaving your job
at a time that best serves you. Consider how much time you need to
scale down your expenses, pay off debts and update your resume. Pick a
specific date, say six to twelve months from today, that's convenient
to you financially and career-wise -- a date when you can leave this
job with a good recommendation. Once
you've decided to start planning your escape - on your terms - you no
longer have to tell yourself, "I hate this job. I have to get out of
here." Finally you've listened to that voice and are taking action. Remember:
a major part of your strategic action plan is to temporarily keep this
job to alleviate your worry about bills while looking for a better job.
Tell
your complaining voice: "Thank you and shut up. By April 15th next year
we'll be in a better job. I'm making a commitment." Peace
Corps volunteers live in the same conditions as their native hosts but
each night they can check their passports and know that soon they'll be
home. The
cheerfulness of temporary workers and part-time student employees also
attests to the wisdom of knowing you can always leave a job, you can
create your own deadline, and you can have an escape plan ready. You're
active in planning the right time for your escape. This principle has
been used successfully by the military in training captured soldiers to
maintain their morale and increase their chances of survival. What a
relief! Fellow
workers (and your boss) will begin to notice that you once again are
part of the team. By freely choosing this job - given your current
circumstances and legitimate worries about finances- you can focus on
doing your job instead of blaming yourself and others because it isn't
your ideal job. As an
added bonus you'll notice that your posture and stance will improve
from that of a round-shouldered, hangdog depressive shuffle to an
assertive, purposeful stride. Others
may see you as a moody procrastinator and a poor performer who shows up
late for work and delays on important projects and client calls. Some
may offer you a role in their movie or hallucination as the enemy,
victim, or bad employee. Though it is very tempting to rise to the
challenge and play the role, resist the offer with a smile that says,
"No thank you, you must have me confused with somebody else." Stick
to your commitment to work on your escape plan and showing up with a
sense of choice, demonstrating that you deserve a better job. Rehearse
telling your boss what you need in order to do a superior job. Work on
getting a bonus and leaving the company with some extra money and a
glowing evaluation. Then expect a surprise.
©
Neil Fiore, Ph.D., 1998-2006. All rights reserved. He is
the author of the books ~ ~ ~  related
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