"The way I'd grown up had encouraged me to locate power almost anywhere but within myself...  "I gradually began to see that many of the people I had been brought up to envy and see as powerful... actually had the other half of the same problem... Often, they were suffering, too." Gloria Steinem - from Moving Beyond Words

Peggy Orenstein noted in her book "School Girls.." that, although they may now have more role models for high achievement, and apparently fewer barriers to equality, girls are still part of a very hierarchical society. 

Power is often seen as "who is higher up" and for women, that has typically been males. Orenstein wrote, "It was clear that, regardless of race and class, [girls] had still learned to see boys as ultimately more powerful. Girls' diminished sense of self means that, often unconsciously, they take on a second-class, accommodating status." 

Leadership is often seen - and sought - in a context of social control, and, perhaps because of that, many adult women may relate to power and leadership in compromised and conflicted ways. Regardless of their true competence to lead. 

Talent may be highly rewarded in some fields, such as entertainment, but it does not necessarily confer or assure personal control. 

Artists and other gifted women may be susceptible to various constrictions and restrictions. As one example, singer Tori Amos at age five won a scholarship to the Peabody Conservatory in Baltimore, but by age eleven she'd been kicked out for playing by ear. 

Margaret Wheatley, a professor at Brigham Young University, and president of The Berkana Institute (a research foundation working on the design of new organizations) talks about shifts in thinking about groups and leadership, based on new discoveries in quantum physics, chaos theory, and biology. 

She said in an interview, "How do you understand a world in which the only material form is that of relationships, and where there is no sense of an individual that exists independent of its relationships? That was the gift of the quantum worldview . It said there are no independent entities anywhere at the quantum level. It's all relationships. 

"That was something that made a lot of sense to how we were starting to think about organizations -- as webs of relationships. But the real eye-opener for me was to realize how control and order were two different things, and that you could have order without control." [from interview by Scott London, Insight & Outlook radio series] 
 
 

Being creatively talented, especially when complemented by intellect, may often lead to wanting to be in charge, to exert order.  As a teen actor, Christina Ricci acknowledged in an interview that she'd like more control: "I would love to come in and run a set, and deal with people and fix problems, because I think I'm pretty good at that. But I just sort of accept that the director is going to tell me to do things, and no matter if I like it or not, I have to do it."

Film director Allison Anders likes being in charge: "They say I'm the heartbeat of my film company, which I think is pretty cool. I feel women actually are far more suited to directing than men, because we're more oriented to synthesis; especially if you've been a mother: you have to do ten things at a time, and that's the kind of mindset you have to be in as a director." 

But she also said that most women filmmakers she knows "who are really achieving some success, and have their own vision, are very lonely women, for the most part, personally. Because for one thing, we've never quite figured out how to abuse our power." (personal interview) 

Michelle Pfeiffer (in a Barbara Walters interview) talked about control in her life: "You literally have to make lists for yourself, and say these are the things I cannot change, so get over it; now these are the things I can change - terrific. I can't change that I have to travel in a very complicated way. I don't like a lot of people in my life making decisions. 

"I know the business, but I can't do it all myself. But there are things I can change - I don't have to go to some dinner I don't want to go to, I don't have to go to some stupid party. I don't have to do this interview, really, if I don't want to." 

Actress Natasha Richardson ("Nell," "Widows' Peak," "The Handmaid's Tale" etc) recognizes that control may be counterproductive for a performer: "I'm too critical of myself. I'm working on that because if you're too critical, it means you control things too much and that's not interesting. I've been working in the past couple of years on just doing it, not trying to come down so hard on myself when it doesn't happen the way I want it to happen." (Movieline magazine interview) 

Geena Davis is gaining more of a leadership role as a filmmaker, for example getting producer credit on "Speechless," and noted in an online chat, "I tend to choose my roles based on women who make their own decisions... The women I play do not have to be role models and they don't always have to make the right decisions... but they at least have to be captain of their own ship." 

The exercise of power in real life may present somewhat different issues for women than for men. In an America Online conference, the late producer Dawn Steel was asked if she found it was harder to get along with female employees: "I think that women will take abuse from men bosses, and resent the mildest criticism from a woman." As women-only colleges may help nourish talent expression, a predominantly female workplace may be a very different context for power. 

Script and creativity consultant Viki King considers women-oriented film sets to have a very different feel than traditional male ones: "Of course, because it's in partnership, not in domination, not in competition." 

But many people find themselves in competitive workplaces, and have feelings and beliefs that may make it difficult for them to lead. 

As author M. Scott Peck has written, "Many who are truly superior will struggle against their genuine call to personal and civic power because they fear exercising authority. Usually, they are reluctant to consider themselves 'better than' or 'above' others, in large part because a sense of humility accompanies their personal and spiritual power." 

Writer Camille Paglia has noted some of the personal reactions to women that may impact their achieving leadership roles. "If the glass ceiling is ever to be broken in politics, it's women themselves who must rethink their sexual personae," she wrote in one of her columns. 

"The first woman president will need to avoid Elizabeth Dole's fatiguing sorority-girl chirpiness and seek a more convincing authority of manner - which is already possessed by both Republican Gov. Christine Todd Whitman and Democratic Sen. Dianne Feinstein. .. My partner Alison [said], 'She's rational and smart, and she seems stable and trustworthy. She has true self-confidence without egotism. She's not a flibbertigibbet; she's not obsessed with herself.'" [Salon.com, Oct. 27, 1999] 

Professor Judy Rosener (Graduate School of Management, University of California, Irvine) notes workplaces are changing, and there are demands for new attitudes about so-called gender conflict: "I'm married to a white male, I'm the mother of one, and I'm the daughter of one," she says. 

"It isn't white males against the rest of us, it's that white males think it is unfair that they now have to compete with women and people of color. Until now, they only had to compete with other white men - and they understand them. They don't understand the rest of us and that makes them anxious. This may be the case, but the world 'aint what it used to be. Women and people of color are in the workforce to stay, and they expect to compete on an even playing field." 

One of those "playing fields is science. Professor Sandra Harding (UCLA School of Education) has noted "the value of cognitive diversity in the scientific process" and its advancement by the increasing participation of women. 

"Few any longer question women's ability to apply the scientific method or to organize complex research projects," she wrote in a Science magazine article (11 Sep 1998), "even if they do sometimes approach their work in ways less favored by their male colleagues. The human intellectual repertoire consists of many styles and many ways of organizing the production of knowledge.... 'The scientific method can be enhanced by our appreciation of the wealth of intellectual resources to be gained by valuing and promoting cognitive diversity." 

Writing her book "Great Dames..." Marie Brenner said in an interview ("Embracing the Past, High Heels and All" by Mimi Avins, LA Times, 5.14.00), made her think about reactions to other women. "As a feminist, I'd been trained to see a woman out in high heels as not authentic," she said. 

"I was very, very judgmental. I had to give all that up and see what the lives of these women really represented, which was bravery. For me, it was time to reexamine these strong, intelligent women who kept smiling, made others feel good and had a lavish regard for others. There is a kind of grandness in [their style]. They did dress up the world. And behind their facade was the intense ambition it disguised." 

While addressing a meeting of women leaders in communications businesses, Meryl Streep admitted she felt "uniquely unqualified" to speak on the topic of leadership, and noted she is famous for "being Somebody Else," including a number of characters who are leaders (New York Times, 11.17.99). But, she noted, there are many ways to assume leadership: "We all choose. This is where acting and life are the same. I do choose who, and how, and with whom to play. What I will and will not do. 

"Acting is a series of choices. And so is life. Once, when I was playing the leader of an expedition down a 200-mile stretch of class 5 white water, I took a lot of credit for bravery. But the real queasy moments came in the marketing meeting, when I made big enemies because I wouldn't approve the use of my big face on the poster pointing a pistol at America." 
 
 

In an article of hers, Harriet Rubin notes there can be harmful aspects to pursuing leadership: "Many people are reaching the top, using all of their means to get money, power, and glory - and then self-destructing." ("Success and Excess", Fast Company, Oct.98)

Rubin goes on to quote Mary Bell, founder and executive director of the Houston-based Center for Recovering Families, about achievement being addictive: "People brag to me that they're working 80 hours a week, giving their lives to the company store," Bell says. "It's heartbreaking. Those people are prime candidates for self-destruction." The reason is simple: "Our bodies will produce the pain we need to get our drugs." 

The demon success has three faces, Bell explains: "euphoria," "normal," and "pain." On a sheet of paper, she draws a chart showing these three terms arranged from top to bottom: "euphoria" above, "normal" in the middle, "pain" below. "You're successful, so good things happen," Bell says. "You complete a project, and you feel dynamite, so you move up to euphoria. 

"That feeling doesn't last forever, and you slide back to normal. You think, 'I've got to start a new project' - which is still normal. But you love the feeling of euphoria, so you've got to have it again. 

"The problem is, you can't stay on that high. A new car is good for six trips around the block, and then it's a used car. The euphoria is gone." ... An "achievement addict" is no different from any other kind of addict, Bell suggests." 

In either case, the individual still must choose between bondage and freedom... Bell helps executives to recognize the unconscious forces that control their lives and that propel them toward self-destruction. The treatment begins when they learn to tell their story - and that story begins with their family of origin." 
 
 

Producer, director and actor Jodie Foster has also referred to the values of looking at emotional and psychological aspects of gaining power. In an interview on The Charlie Rose Show, Foster talked about some of what Riane Eisler (in "The Chalice and the Blade") referred to as "alternative ways of perceiving and using power" - of power as "affiliation": Foster said, "The most important part of power and the most important part of control is to learn how to be honorable, and how to use that in a responsible way and a generous way, to use it to give other people freedom, to use it like a good parent...

"I've made a lot less money than anybody else I know in the same position, and it's really been because I've felt it was a fair trade; I only wanted to make the movies I wanted to make, I only wanted to be in love with the films I made, to be moved by them - even if I made huge errors, big mistakes, or maybe the film didn't work. 

"But I just wanted to go in believing somehow in this silly, optimistic, Capraesque way that I was going to make a difference, and that to me is the old voice in my head, a silly, foolish voice, that says maybe you'll change something. And to me, that's worth all the compromise." 

Gender-related aspects leadership style is still an area with conflicting perspectives. In a Fast Company article ("Women and Men, Work and Power" by Anna Muoio, February, 1998), Sharon Patrick, President/COO of Martha Stewart Living, commented, "It's dangerous to generalize, but there are differences between men and women in management style - not in skills but in style. 

"We can't ignore a million years of history... Men hunt, women gather... I believe that 'gathering' is at the crux of how women view and use power differently from men... Men have tended to demonstrate a 'go for the kill' mentality... Women have tended to prefer searching for common interests... in the real (read: male) world, collaboration is often viewed as a sign of weakness.. unless you're the boss, collaboration is risky." 

Harriet Rubin (in the same article) declared, "Women need to become more like men than men are. We need to become hyperaggressive and hyperdetermined - because business is about intense daring and a reckless abandon to succeed. Of course, men have those qualities. It has to do with their once being boys. While girls learn to be good, boys play at being great. And men build their companies the way they used to build their forts - as clubs of exclusion." 

Rubin has also commented, "Once upon a time power was in patriarchy, a key motivator. It created great products and efficient systems. The subordination of women made for success. Now the opposite is true. The sectors that are growing are those in which there is no sexual identity--such as on the internet." 

But Janice Gjertsen, (an executive at Digital City New York) disagreed: "So many of us are so confused about gender. For years, I've seen women trying to act like men. More recently, I've seen men trying to act like women. It won't work. The only way to be powerfully successful, whether you're a man or a woman, is to be who you are. A lot of my work involves contract negotiations and deals with media companies. 

"I see the same patterns over and over again: Men are oriented toward power, toward making fast decisions in a black-or-white mode. Woman are more skilled at relationships. They see shades of gray and explore issues from different angles. It's instinctual. Men come to the negotiating table in full battle armor. I don't do that. I believe it goes against a woman's nature to be aggressive, rude, or abrupt. I never know how to react to these kinds of women, and neither do men." 
 
 

Christie Hefner (CEO, Playboy Enterprises) has commented, "Gender is a factor in leadership styles, but there are as many leadership differences among women as there are differences between men and women. I've seen highly autocratic women leaders and I have seen very participatory, nurturing men leaders...

"But ultimately there is a wide range of styles of leadership within both sexes. And for all successful leaders and executives, the goal is to blend both of those kinds of abilities.

"You can paralyze an organization by having consensual management, and you can debilitate an organization, and the best people in it, if you are autocratic and dictatorial. The entrepreneurial quality that a lot of trail blazers in the media businesses have, and the personal passion to take creative risks and to think outside the box, are as important as they ever were." 

She noted in the same article one of the ways "boxing in" of thinking occurs: "The more anyone has experienced, the more apt that person is to say, 'Well, based on my experience, this is what the future will hold.' But today none of us knows what's around the corner... For media industry leaders, one of the keys is a willingness to suspend confidence in your own knowledge."  (from Thinking Outside the Box by Christie Hefner, Media Studies Journal, Spring/Summer,1996.) 

We need the positive aspects of power and collaboration to advance socially and personally. As singer Gloria Estefan has commented, "We must empower people to use the unique gifts that God has given them to create and celebrate life, to overcome those things that we can, and to change the negative things that are our creations." And, she added, "We have more power to change things and turn them around for the better than we realize." 

The Woodhull Institute for Ethical Leadership (named for Victoria Woodhull, first woman to run for president in the 1870s) was founded to help empower young women with leadership ambitions. "Ethics is the essence of this program," co-founder Naomi Wolf said in an interview (The Guardian, July 13.99). 

"A lot of young women were ambivalent about being leaders because the models they saw were inadequate. They are turned off by hypocrisy, cynicism and insider politics - old white men in a hierarchy that treats people like cogs in a wheel. We bring women to Woodhull to say here are the ethical challenges you will face in journalism, politics or law and, yes, you can do it." 

Part of their approach is to counteract perceptions that power, asserting your voice and claiming credit are somehow unfeminine activities. Another aspect of the institute's work is ongoing networking and mentoring to support the training, according to the article. "None of us would have bothered just running an institute to teach leadership and power to women," Wolf said. 
 
 

Early experience can help encourage leadership in women - and men as well, of course. Geraldine Laybourne, who developed children's network Nickelodeon before taking the role of CEO of Oxygen Media, has commented, "My business sense I got from my father, who... crowned me his 'business daughter,' made me treasurer of our family, took me to his office every Saturday and taught me how to analyze companies. .. he would quiz me about whether he should invest in a company.

"My opinion almost always turned out to be right," Laybourne continued, "but he rarely took my advice. Who's going to listen to an 8-year-old? Little did either of us know then that listening to 8-year-olds would one day change my life." [NY Times, Oct 6, 1999] 

Another aspect of power is personal identity and involvement. Peter Tjeerdsma, president of the Association of Transformative Media Arts, has noted, "Clearly, one of the most difficult arts of business, especially in the media, is negotiation. This is an environment where survival issues are bound to arise, and integrity is often heavily challenged. 

"However, it is also the best place to learn how to operate from true power. True power starts with knowing that we don't need to take advantage of anyone in order to get ahead, and we don't need to let ourselves be taken advantage of in order to survive." 

In the same article ("Maintaining Spiritual Integrity..."), he wrote, "Fear of success is a bit of a cliché, but truly, all too often the ego has become subtly identified with the struggle; being the underdog, the starving artist, the wage slave, the underfunded entrepreneur, or even the stressed-out executive. 

"These victim roles are much more comfortable for the ego to play - there are far more excuses for falling out of integrity. Becoming truly powerful requires that we see the ways in which we sabotage ourselves, and take the time we need to heal the damage." 

Former pro athlete, now author and columnist Mariah Burton Nelson noted in her speech "The Courage to Lead from the Heart" one way she has found to be more powerful. "I decided (finally) that it's okay to talk about leadership, including my own," she said. "I gave myself permission... Though we may have been born leaders, we were not born into a society that welcomed female leaders. So we have to give ourselves permission to go ahead and lead." 

Writer and shaman teacher Lynn Andrews notes in her book Love & Power, "In my work, one of the things I always talk about with the women and the men who work with me is the importance of an act of power. An act of power is an expression in the world of your true essence. If you don't have an act of power, you can never really see who you are."

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related articles:

Women in Film: Identity and Power  by Douglas Eby

 

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