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Remembering the Best, Restoring Yourself, Rapture

by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein    [The Enchanted Self]

[Part One of three]

In today's world there are so many wonderful and inspirational books. There are books filled with stories of Divine intervention, miracles happening, special positive moments never to be forgotten and stories of incredible coincidences.

They help make us feel in harmony with the universe. They help us fall asleep and have pleasant dreams.

They often bring tears to our eyes, reinforcing an inner sense of wisdom that all is right with the world even when appearances say that is not so.

There is one thing often missing from these books. It is the mental and emotional perspiration that we need to go through as we struggle to live a life of meaning and joy.

The inspiration is there but it's the perspiration that most of us need to put into our daily lives to create for ourselves lives of enchantment.

Because, enchantment for most of us, i.e., living a life of joy, a life that reflects many states of well being, again and again, is hard work.

Certainly we yearn for moments when the right thing happens at exactly the right time and the world opens up for us, whether it's a lucky break, meeting the right life partner or winning the lottery.

We all need at least some of those moments.

But life, in reality, is filled with hundreds and thousands and probably millions of minutes that are repetitive, boring or simply ordinary.

They involve getting up, brushing our teeth, driving to work safely, keeping a job, raising children, fighting off a cold, etc.

It is all these times that The Enchanted Self focuses on. These are the moments that can be mundane, depressing, dull or can be captivating, enlivening and filled with joy.

What is the difference? The difference is usually the perspiration. I mean the mental and emotional perspiration that is involved in what I call the three R's of enchantment.

Let's look at the first of the three R's.

The first is Remembering the Best and Letting Go of the Rest. This is a critical component to general well being and a sense of happiness on a daily basis.

Most of us have sustained loss and experienced pain. Yes, we've been hurt. We've been short-changed by opportunities or other people.

Sometimes we've been stepped upon, left or forgotten. If we spend our daily life focusing on these disappointments then we cannot release the positive energies we need to make the most of the present moment and to plan for the future.

Grudges, negative thinking, disappointments, and not forgiving all get in the way of what can be done with the present.

We need our psyche energies to seize opportunities we can take advantage of. This can't happen, if our energies are used up ruminating.

Besides, there is beauty in our own story and most, if not all disappointments we've experienced have strengthened us.

Often, we have even developed talents in coping with hard times that can reemerge in ways to enhance pleasure and/or help us be of service to the world.

For example, the child that was neglected or yelled at has an opportunity to be particularly kind to others as he or she gets older, maybe to teach others certain parenting skills having known first hand how it feels on the other side.

I hope you'll take some time this month to think about yourself and what talents you may have developed during stressful times of your life. It may be the very coping skills that you can use to make your life even more successful and joyful.

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An Adventure In Story Telling: Take some time this month to tell your story, whether it be to yourself, a child, a friend, a spouse.

Play with emphasizing how moments, whether they seemed extraordinary or ordinary at the time, played into future chapters of your life.

Also, play with sharing the hard times in ways that emphasize growth and even later successes!

  Continued in Part Two

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Barbara Becker Holstein

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, blog, and free gifts at her site: The Enchanted Self.

Visit her BLOG at : www.enchantedself.typepad.com/

THE ENCHANTED SELF® is a registered trademark of Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein.

The Enchanted Self is "a Positive Psychology that encourages positive states of mind, body and spirit. It is a growth promoting system of positive understandings and attitudinal changes, insights and simple life style changes you can make. It is geared to living a life more joyfully and fully."

See her books from Amazon.com at top right, and on her site:

The Enchanted Self

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