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The Secret of
Lasting Personal Change
By Dr
Jill Ammon-Wexler
Why do
so many of us end up frustrated when we try to improve our personal
reality? Why do diets end up in gained weight? Why do some people fail
again and again at business? Why do others get into one bad
relationship after another -- in spite of their deep desire for a
"good" relationship?
Obviously no one "wishes" to fail in their personal or business life.
Yet this is an all-too-common problem.
Let's face it! We all want (and deserve) to have a pleasant and
comfortable lifestyle. We want and deserve success! We want and deserve
a sense of security! We want and deserve a good relationship with both
ourselves and others.
Good grief -- most of us just WANT to be happy!
The Basic Rule of Lasting
Personal Change
Trying
to change the external conditions of your life can pose a considerable
challenge.
The
basic rule of personal change is this: Your effort will *always* fail
(or will only be temporary) unless they are accompanied by a change of
your thoughts and beliefs.
It all
starts in your mind. Period!
For example: Consider trying to lose weight by going on a ‘diet,’
without first dealing with why you are overweight. We all know the
final outcome of such a battle - failure! There are no exceptions
to this rule. To change your external conditions, you must first change
your internal reality.
Ask yourself: What's happening in your mind to make your business
efforts end in failure? Or your relationships collapse? Or your
waistline to continuously expand?
Unless you uncover and deal with the source, all your efforts will only
be a band-aid over an open wound.
This rule applies to anything you want to change in your life: From a
fear of flying - to chronic underachievement and failure - to a lack of
motivation - to low energy - to monetary lack, etc.
How We Create Our Personal
Reality
The
old saying ‘you become what you think’ is more than just a saying. It
is now solidly backed by years of sophisticated brain research.
Picture a foot path through a meadow: Frequent use creates a
well-defined pathway. But if the path isn't used, it eventually
disappears.
By its very nature, your mind is a creature of habit. Just like a path
through a meadow -- the neural pathways in your brain are worn in
(strengthened) by frequent use. But unused neural pathways, on the
other hand, will slowly disappear.
So ... if you give frequent attention to negative thoughts and
conditions, guess wht will happen. They will grow stronger and more
defined.
If you focus on the bright side of life, on the other hand, your
"positive" neural pathways will gain strength and definition. It really
IS this simple.
((( What you focus on will grow! )))
Your
thoughts actually CREATE your external reality, because they determine
how you will respond to what happens to you! And your RESPONSES, in
turn, directly determine your personal reality.
How Your Mind Works
Your
conscious and subconscious minds are a team. They work together to
create your mental reality.
No one consciously chooses to think negatively. Most of our ANTs
(Automatic Negative Thoughts) rise up automatically out of our
subconscious minds.
Picture your subconscious mind as a garden. Your habitual thoughts and
beliefs are seeds. The subconscious mind does not question the seeds
planted in it. It simply provides the soil in which they flourish and
grow.
Your conscious mind, on the other hand, is the wise gardener. It
chooses and plants healthy seeds, and removes the weeds that have grown
in your mental garden.
It's important to remember that the subconscious mind does NOT
rationally analyze the seeds planted in its soil. It just works
24-hours a day to grow what has been planted in it.
Your subconscious mind will manifest failure, sickness, depression and
misfortune just as easily as it will manifest success, abundance, and
happiness.
Four ANT-Stomping Steps
If you
have not achieved the happiness and success you deserve in your life,
you probably have some ANTs running around your subconscious mind.
ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) can undo our most determined efforts
to create a healthy, happy, successful, prosperous life. They are the
enemy of anyone desiring lasting personal change.
Here are five steps you can take to stomp out your ANTs:
First, build your awareness of what those ANTs are all about. What
messages are they marching through your subconscious mind?
Second, once you become aware of an ANT, drag it out into the sunlight
of your conscious mind. Ask yourself: Is it providing a message about
something you should change? Or is it just spouting "old stuff" from
age five that's no longer really true?
Third, create an anchor to either make the indicated change, or stomp
that ANT. An anchor is a *signal* to yourself that will become
automatic, once established. For example, you could promise yourself to
snap your fingers every time an ANT tries to undo your efforts to
improve your life. Come up with your own anchor.
Fourth, remember that your mind can only hold ONE thought at a time.
Focus your conscious thoughts on what you WANT. Do NOT focus on worry
or limitation. Remember: What you focus on *will* grow! Because of that
-- worry is actually negative goal setting.
Fifth, most of all, just hang in there! Personal change and growth
happens one day at a time. Just continue to re-dedicate yourself to
creating the life you desire...and deserve!
Now that you realize that worry is powerful negative goal setting, do
you understand why you always get what you are worried about?
Dr Jill's ‘Smash Your Limits’ ecourse can stop this cycle, and help
boost your confidence beyond your worries - see her site Quantum-Self
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