What Can We Learn from Martha Stewart?

What Can We Learn from Martha Stewart?

By Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler

No matter how you feel about Martha Stewart and the personal mistake that put her at odds with U.S. Government lawmakers, you can't deny this woman's amazing resilience and buoyancy.

So what can we learn from Martha? And what is it that makes some people so capable of bouncing back in the face of adversity?

Martha Stewart isn't unique in her ability to make the adverse lessons of life work for her. We all have the potential for this inner capacity. We all have the potential ability to rapidly size up a situation and solve problems, at the same time handling the intense emotions that may accompany a personal or business crisis.

But some people seem to know better how to respond -- to rationally analyze the situation and find a solution, rather than just react on an emotional level. Those with less resilience, on the other hand, tend to go straight to their emotions and react.

The difference here is the ability to respond, versus the tendency to just react.

What is Resiliency?

For many, not giving into the emotion surrounding a crisis may be hard to imagine. So let's review the steps a resilient person like Martha Stewart goes through when faced with a serious crisis.

First you feel the emotions. But if you stop there, what you will do is a knee-jerk reaction probably ending up in anger. Although that's perfectly natural, such intense emotions activate an older portion of the brain that automatically overrides your higher thinking centers.

A resilient person, on the other hand, will respond like Martha did when she gave lemons out to reporters -- announcing that she would make lemonade. Her Mom must have taught Martha the same thing my Mom did: When dealt a lemon (a bad situation), make the best of it by making lemonade! Good advice!

The next step a resilient person will take is to avoid wasting energy on regret and unhappiness -- and just move on. This attitude of looking forward instead of back over their shoulder is a key component of resilience.

So Martha lost 20 pounds, is writing a book and starting an exciting show, and totally focused her attention on being happy and productive.

A less resilient, less buoyant person could have been forever emotionally crippled by what Martha Steward faced.

Are Some People Born Resilient?

At the University of Wisconsin's Laboratory for Affective Neuroscience, researchers used advanced brain imaging technology to pinpoint the area of the brain (the left prefrontal cortex) that serves as the center for our positive, optimistic, and happy feelings.

The researchers found that people with naturally above-average activity in this brain region are more likely to feel positive moods, and tend to be more resilient and buoyant. They concluded that our brains could be hard-wired so that, to some degree, how happy we're going to be could be at least partially genetic.

I'm forced to question their conclusion. Although there could be a genetic influence over your resilience, the effects of your habits and attitudes cannot be denied. And many of those attitudes and habits date all the way back into your childhood environment.

Is Resiliency a Learned Trait?

Resilient people have certain personal traits that set them apart from people with dark clouds hovering over their heads.

Research by Dr. Ken Sheldon, an associate professor of psychological sciences at the University of Missouri-Columbia, has shown that resilience is associated with such personal characteristics as:
Autonomy, Competence, Close relationships, High self-esteem, and Ability to cope with change

So if we were to paint a picture of a resilient person, we would say they are most likely comfortably independent and capable, have high self-esteem and confidence, build close relationships easily, and handle change with ease.

The good news is that all of these skills can be (and are) developed! So even if you didn't learn these skills as a youngster, you can still develop them as an adult by learning to respond, rather than react, to stressful situations.

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