By Suzanne Falter-Barns

This is an article about retreating, whether it be for an afternoon, a week, or a year. Retreats are for those times when you've reached a personal plateau from which you just don't seem to be able to budge.

Maybe you're very tired from weeks or months of hard work.

Maybe you need to grieve a loss but you just can't seem to find the time. Maybe you're surrounded by people and demands all day long and you just plain need to get away.

Maybe God is calling you, so you need to stop and listen for a while. Maybe all you know is that you need to move forward, but you don't know how or why.

A retreat is time you give to yourself to allow you to quiet down, tune in, and really listen to your soul.

A retreat can be anything that takes you away from you routine and gives your brain a little space to breath. By no means do you have to do months of research to find the perfect place, or even get a grant and go on sabbatical.

Retreating is simply closing the door on the everyday world you inhabit, and filling your lungs, soul, heart and mind with something new and refreshing.

In her excellent book, The Woman's Retreat Book, Jennifer Louden suggests it is possible to take a retreat at home. (I happen to lead a retreat with Jennifer - the Women's Writer's Spa in Taos NM.)

One key component is to remove all the stressors in your home -- put on the answering machine, ask neighbors not to drop by, remove the family by sending them to a friend or relative, and close the door on the messiest rooms. Then you need to prepare the rooms you will retreat in.

Louden suggests space clearing by burning sage, spritzing water, or clapping hands as you walk around each room you will occupy. Change sheets, freshen towels, vacuum, dust, clean up in the first hour of your retreat -- then create a sacred ceremony for yourself that really marks your entry into the retreat mode.

One reader in Louden's book drove her car to a nearby arboretum where it could stay parked for a few days. She had purposefully taken a long, hot bath, pampered herself, and put on favorite clothing for the moment of retreat to begin.

Then she crossed a brook on a small bridge, and walking back across it, declaring her retreat begun. The woman then strolled home to the clean, restful silence of her home for the remainder of the weekend.

On the other hand, you may crave an escape to a commercial space for retreats, whether it is a monastic community or a New Age spa with whirlpools, massages and evening satsang.

The selection of retreat possibilities is endless, ranging from Zen monastaries which require silence of visitors to yoga camps to healing spas that offer biofeedback, crainiosacral therapy, and Ayurvedic doctors.

One guide listed below even lists 'Mind' spas, in which you can use entrainment mind machines and behavior modification software that helps reprogram negative mental patterns. Ultimately, all retreats are oriented around one thing: to return balance to your body, mind and soul.

It's up to you and your intuition to decide where to go and what to do.

Jennifer Louden, who I lead a retreat with called the Women Writer’s Spa suggests that all retreats must start with one key question: 'Why am I going on retreat?'

The rest of the why's and how's are built from this answer, especially such questions as 'How can I spend money on myself like this?' and 'How can I make the time?'

Answer the question of why honestly, and the rest takes care of yourself. For instance, if you need to retreat because you're fed up with your life, then time and money need not be an issue.

On the other hand, if you're retreating because you need a break from the kids, a mini-retreat for an afternoon or a weekend getaway might do the trick nicely.

The question of where to go can be answered similarly. If you are going on retreat to soothe your soul and treat yourself with love and care for a while, you might want to pick a place that feels like the ultimate pampering.

On the other hand, if you're going on retreat to plan out your vision for your business, you could pick a time and place that helps you think more creatively.

My husband and I did exactly that on a recent retreat to a beautiful little college town in Vermont about an hour from where we live.

We hung out in a cafe in the morning and went over what we'd accomplished in the last year. Then we took a walk, had lunch at an inn, and spent the balance of the day in front of their fireplace making plans for the new year. The cost of our retreat was practically nothing, and it got the job done quite nicely.

Please note that going on retreat may mean finding a yoga retreat with a particular kind of practice, or going to a Benedictine monastery and living like the monks do. Your retreat may have a particular spiritual practice that will enhance your time away.

If you call the Episcopalian or Roman Catholic Diocese where you want to go, they will put you in touch with monasteries and retreat centers where you can stay -- or you can use the directories listed below. As you cruise the possibilities, see what your intuition pulls you towards. Then allow yourself to go there, unencumbered.

I encourage you to give yourself permission to just get away, find a little peace and quiet, and let your thoughts flow. You may be surprised at what you uncover, but you will most definitely be refreshed by this necessary, uncommon gift to yourself.

Why not join us at the Women’s Writer’s Spa in July in Taos? Here's a pic of last year's group … and I must say, they DO look relaxed and nourished (and this was only Day 3!)

Jump in - whatever retreat you choose!

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Originally published in Suzanne Falter-Barns’ blog: Blast O' Joy, February 18, 2006.

Also see Jennifer Louden’s site for more information about her teleclasses and retreats: ComfortQueen.com

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