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publication of Talent
Witherspoon on the benefits of therapy
and her husband [actor Ryan Phillippe] are open
about using counseling to work on their
relationship. "We've done that in the past,"
Reese says, "and it's always struck me as odd
that people grabbed onto that story and made it
sound so negative.
"In what capacity is working on yourself or your
marriage a bad thing? What marriage isn't a
journey? … If you don't have money to go to
therapy, there's always church. You can get
together with groups and friends and talk about
things with other couples."
Reese says, "My dad always said to me when I was
growing up, 'Everybody's got their own set of
problems,' and that's so true. I keep it with
me. There are people that you meet that have so
much and people that you meet who have next to
nothing. We all have our own set of problems."
Winfrey Show 10/10/05 oprah.com
think if anybody rests on the idea that they are
perfect or their life is perfect or their
relationship is perfect and is so
troubled about destroying the facade as opposed
to getting to what’s real, that is troublesome.
Who is so arrogant or vain that they don’t want
people to know they’re real or human? That
they’re fallible? We are all just people. That’s
part of what’s amazing about being an actor.
It’s about compassion and deep feeling for other
people’s pain or struggle or drive. I never felt
above them. I never felt beneath them. That’s
probably what led me to this profession.
I feel that vulnerability [of other people] in
myself, too. It scares the living crap out of
me. We are all on the edge, emotionally or
Dec/Jan 2006 // photos: As Becky Sharp in Vanity
~ ~ ~
Do I have my days when I've thrown a little
pity party for myself? Absolutely. But I'm
also doing really well. I've got an
unbelievable support team, and I'm a tough
I believe in therapy; I think
it's an incredible tool in educating the
self on the self.
Aniston - about
the end of her marriage with Brad Pitt ..
Fair Sep 2005]
~ ~ ~
than just a clinical procedure, therapy has
become a culture in itself. And the main
belief of this new culture is that peoples'
emotional state is the source of most problems
culture frames the experience of everyday
life as a struggle that ordinary people can
not survive without professional
asserts that our usual networks of support
-- friends, family neighbours -- are too
feeble to helps us in our hour of
therapy culture suggests those closest to us
are often the source of emotional
is why we are increasingly discouraged from
dealing with problems on their own or in
collaboration with friends or family
now live in an age of counsellors,
facilitators, life trainers, mentors,
parenting coaches and analysts.
promotion of professional solutions to
routine everyday problems is driven by this
new cultural assumption in which we think of
ourselves as vulnerable and lacking the
resources to cope.
stop, love -
was supposed to bring us joy and love. But the
language of the heart can be cut off by the
cold analyses of the "expert." It's time
rethink therapy and reembrace your lover,
friends and family.
Frank Furedi [Ode magazine]
Culture : Cultivating Vulnerability
an Uncertain Age - by Frank Furedi
photo by Joyce Tenneson - see more
her work on photography
: page 3
~ ~ ~
do the gifted have special needs?
take in experience at different rates. Gifted
people take in more, compared to their age and
ability to process that experience.
in so much more than those around them results in
the gifted becoming highly sensitive and
can counseling help? Talking with someone who
understands the profound emotional needs, appetites,
and frustrations that come with being gifted is
something all gifted people need.
often, people with intellectual, creative,
physical, spiritual, or emotional gifts are
misunderstood, disparaged or neglected.
people benefit from emotional support and good
counsel. Yet the more exceptional an individual
is, the less likely she or he has satisfactorily
with someone who specializes in counseling the
gifted can help a gifted person learn to
appreciate and be comfortable with their gifts and
the Gifted -
of Shulamit Widawsky, Educational Therapist
admits she was actually a wreck.
been to therapists as far back as I can remember, to
glue me together, to get me out on the next concert
tour," she says.
it. Nobody saw my knees shake, you know, and nobody
saw what happened backstage before, when I was a
blob on the floor, not wanting get up and
as if she is making up for lost time, because it
wasn't until the Vietnam War was over, and fame had
passed her by that she dared to get help and do
battle with her demons.
48 years old and, I think, it's probably the same for
a lot of people who all a sudden kind of think, 'I've
had enough of this,'" she says.
was work. And, it continued for a number of years.
And lo and behold, the phobias began to dissipate.
Panic attacks started to go away. The insomnia
started to vanish and so it was kind of, like,
is filled with things she loves -- her home, nature,
her mother (who is 90 and lives with her daughter),
her musical instrument and her 34-year-old son,
became a grandmother, and she is content.
have a partner. I have family," she proclaims. "The
work that I did to rid myself of the baggage... it
was so wonderful to just be.
thought in any terms beyond that, of trying to be
with somebody else. If that happens, wonderful. If
it doesn't, wonderful. Life has become really quite
Joan Baez: The Good Life,
Dana Tynan (2003) from site
Baez Web Pages
~ ~ ~
McAvoy [Kevin Costner] : Okay, so how do I do it?
Therapy, I mean, I mean, wh-- how do I start doing
Griswold [Rene Russo} : Ooo-kay, Roy. Well, in
parlance you might understand, just kick back and
let the big dog eat.
Suppose there's this guy, and he's standing on the
shore of a big wide river, and the... river's full
of all manner of disaster, you know, piranhas,
alligators, eddies, currents, sh*t like that...
nobody'll even go down there to dip a toe. And on
the other side of the river's a million bucks, and
on this side of the river... is a rowboat.
I guess my question's this: What would possess the guy
standing on the shore to swim for it?
He is an idiot.
No, see, he's a helluva swimmer. His problem's more
like why does he always have to... rise to the
He is a juvenile idiot.
You don't understand what I mean by the river.
Roy, we're talking about you, and what you like to
call your inner demons -- that human frailty you
like to blather about -- not some mythopoetic
metaphor you come up with in a... feeble and
transparent effort to do yourself credit.
You mean you're going to make me feel lousy?
I came here to feel better. I mean, what kind of
Roy, Roy, Roy, you don't have any inner demons. What
you have is inner crapola, inner debris...
garbage... loose wires, a few... [laughs] horsesh*t
in staggering amounts.
[Self-Limiting High Potential Persons] take
unnecessary risks to avoid success they are not
film Tin Cup,
Kevin Costner plays such a person, a pro golfer,
who, through extreme risk-taking tactics,
squanders his chance to win the U.S. Open.
Worst Enemy: Breaking the Habit of
by Kenneth W. Christian, PhD
~ ~ ~
feel that most everyone, not only those with
problems, can benefit from therapy?]
all developed psychological defenses against painful
emotions, such as turning inward, becoming
distrustful of others, avoiding close personal
relationships, projecting negative feelings onto
others, developing psychosomatic symptoms, and
becoming dependent upon soothing but deadening
routines or addictions. ....
suggested that successful people may benefit
than those with serious emotional problems.]
person can be "intact," that is, earning a good
living or raising a family, and still be seriously
limited compared to what his or her life could
was a practicing therapist, most of my clients had
reasonably successful careers.
were experiencing a lot of unnecessary suffering,
such as mild to severe depression, anxiety attacks,
relationship problems, maladaptive child-rearing
practices, psychosomatic symptoms, paranoid
feelings, and excessive use of drugs and
addition to recovering from their symptoms they
wished to lead more exciting, meaningful and
creative personal lives.
more than an opportunity to relieve symptoms.
are less damaged tend to be more open and therefore
have a better chance to improve their lives...
Is therapy dead? [Word
Branfman, Salon.com, Jan. 5, 2003
Robert Firestone, PhD. Creating
Life of Meaning and Compassion: The Wisdom
~ ~ ~
: We forget that
the unexpected has great entertainment value -- that's
why psychoanalysis is so much fun. We've talked about
therapy before -- we've both been patients. Do you
believe in the unconscious?
: Yes. When I
started going to therapy there wasn't a specific,
clear, rational thing that made me start, but as
soon as I did, everything in my life changed, almost
just calling the therapist started a wave going.
Maybe three weeks into it I had a dream where I was
like, "I need to change a lot of things."
: Did you find
that going changed the way you were dreaming?
: Yeah. And the
way I was looking at my dreams.
had an incredible experience when I was doing Casa de
los Babys [an upcoming film directed by John
the last day of my working, it was a really intense
scene, and I hadn't mapped it out.
call was at 8 A.M., and I had gone to sleep at 11,
so I was rested, but I was tired.
got to the set, and I had maybe an hour while they
got the lights together, so I lay down and had an
overwhelming dream -- and I feel as if I needed to
have it in order to play the scene.
another part of me working that isn't the
intellectual side -- the unconscious -- and that was
not awake most of my life. Not actively. There were
times when it would push through, but now I feel I'm
really honoring it.
[Interview, Feb, 2003]
~ ~ ~
professionals feel imprisoned in a suit of character
armor: "I've always been this way. What's the
is "character" other than a product of past and
present choices? To decide that we are somehow
stuck where we are is to ignore the fluidity of
the human personality or worse, to confuse one's
defenses with one's essence.
Ph.D., a Los Angeles psychotherapist - from her
of Arc on war poster
~ ~ ~
aftermath of her father's death, when she was 21, and
her breakup with former boyfriend Harmony Korine, Chloe
Sevigny moved back home
for several years.
She also went
into therapy, at her mothe's urging.
"The first couple
of weeks, I was really depressed, because you
verbalize all these things that you never said
before. Then it gets better, and I do think the
therapist really helped me -- in gaining confidence,
in dealing with criticism," says Sevigny. ...
article: Muse Me No More by Emily Nussbaum,
Psychology Today, Oct 2003]
~ ~ ~
look at you: I don't see an intelligent, confident
man. I see a cocky, scared kid. But you're a genius,
Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly
understand the depths of you.
presume to know everything about me because you saw
a painting of mine...
orphan, right? Do you think I'd know the first thing
about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who
you are because I read Oliver Twist?
encapsulate you? ... I can't learn anything from you
I can't read in some f**n' book.
wanna talk about you, who you are. And I'm
fascinated. I'm in. But you don't wanna do that, do
of what you might say.
Maguire (Robin Williams)
new client Will Hunting (Matt Damon)
Good Will Hunting
~ ~ ~
psychotherapy, laboring under weather of its own,
went down a certain road, depriving itself of a much
wider sacred tradition.
my client has an intimation of something coming
from outside her familiar world, her experience --
which is about to change everything -- is at
obviously not because she and I are not interested
in healing, but we might worry about how valid or
'rational' her experience is or whether it belongs
more properly in a place of worship than in the
miss it completely. Yet -- seemingly against all
odds -- these grace-filled moments keep coming,
pushing through our orthodoxies and reminding us
of their transformative power... we are
transported out to the place beyond personal
weather, where the universe makes itself known to
A Psychotherapist's Tales of Spontaneous
~ ~ ~
telling a story, and you're part of telling that
story... in some ways therapy helps more than
acting class. You realize why you operate in
about making "Lost in Space"]
~ ~ ~
Behavior Therapy (REBT) holds that people are born
as well as reared with strong tendencies both to
defeat themselves and to ignore their capacity to
function more fully and to change their
self-destructive thoughts, feelings and behaviors
and to achieve fuller functioning.
large (though not a total) degree, they choose
emotional-behavioral disturbance (or health) and
choose restricted functioning. Therefore, to more
fully actualize themselves, they had better choose
to work at -- yes, work at -- achieving more
growth, development, and happiness.
- from his article
"Achieving Self-Actualization" - posted on
Albert Ellis Institute site
control your anxiety before it controls you.
Guide to Rational Living
~ ~ ~
Could Therapy Help You?
or no in response to each question.
anyone who knows and cares about all or almost all
the significant events of your life?
feel as though you're living life behind an
invisible screen, unable to truly connect with
anyone or anything?
at least one person you talk to at least once a week
who really understands all or almost all your
anything you feel you can't or mustn't tell
feel comfortable crying in front of the person or
people you love most?
recently suffered any kind of serious emotional
wound, such as the loss of a job or a loved one?
benefited from therapy in the past and recently felt
wistful about it, missing that kind of reliable
have unexpected negative emotional reactions to
others' behavior toward you, such as feeling shame
when you are praised or anxiety when you are
of others' disapproval dominate your choices?
able to freely express love to your family and
lonely even if - or especially when - you're with a
group of people?
have to be under the influence of alcohol or drugs
in order to be open about your thoughts and
or more of your answers is 'No' - you could benefit
by visiting a good therapist.
need shrinking? by Martha Beck -
issue of O, The Oprah Magazine
is author of book
Own North Star
~ ~ ~
lot of pressure to believe that a smart person, a
capable person, can handle their own problems, that
it's a matter of willpower and.. character. I just
don't think that's true. Like anything else, there are
skills involved - some of which may come very
naturally to you, and some of which don't.
people say therapy destroys your spontaneity, that
when you understand too much about yourself it
messes with your imagination, and your work is going
to become less interesting as a result.
don't think that's true. My therapy was much more
about not being neurotic than about being neurotic.
Everybody is neurotic in some way, right? My
experience has never been like, "You're going to be
like a blank slate, I'm going to strip you down, and
you are going to be normal." There isn't any
such thing as normal; there's just what is right for
- from article: Soul
Workout by Laura Weinert [Backstage]
~ ~ ~
with artists and other creative individuals, the
goal is not to eradicate the daimonic, to drug or
rationalize the demons out of existence. Not only is
this not desirable; it is not possible, at least in
done well, the patient has tools to deal more
constructively with his or her demons. Artists
like Ingmar Bergman, for example, have learned to
live with their demons rather than trying to evict
learns to accept and even befriend one's demons --
the daimonic -- recognizing that they not only
make us who we are but that they participate and
invigorate our creativity.
Diamond, Ph.D. -
of Creativity: redeeming
the Daimonic: The Psychological Genesis of
Violence, Evil, and Creativity, by
Stephen A. Diamond, PhD. /
listed on the counselors
quotes by Dr. Diamond on: the
~ ~ ~
whether Tony Soprano [played by James Gandolfini]
is beyond help or simply a troubled man trying to tame
his demons, if not exactly succeeding.
[Dr. Glen O. Gabbard]
firmly believes Tony belongs in the latter camp. "It's
abundantly clear he's capable of loyalty and of loving
attachment. He loves his kids and his mobster family,"
"He is tormented by
pangs of conscience. He is a thug, he's racist, and
he's very capable of being violent -- but most of his
violence is dictated by a moral code." ...
relationship with [his psychiatrist] Dr. Jennifer
Melfi (Lorraine Bracco) that drew Gabbard into
the show, he says. ... "I got sucked in by the most
realistic representation of psychotherapy ever seen on
TV or in the movies," he says.**[CNN.com
of the Sopranos: Love, Death, Desire and
Betrayal in America's
Gangster Family - by Glen O. Gabbard, MD
~ ~ ~
creatively gifted individuals have particular
counseling needs that are often overlooked and
with giftedness like acute sensitivity, intensity,
complexity, multi-tasking, and divergent thinking
can be misdiagnosed by therapists as anxiety
disorder, OCD, bipolar disorder, or ADHD.
who are articulate and high functioning can mask
serious depression and low self-esteem. When gifted
clients come to therapy, they are usually unaware of
how their advanced development affects the
therapist who can recognize the characteristics that
often accompany giftedness can explain these traits
and their effects to the client and this
explanation, in itself, can have a profound impact
on the outcome of treatment.
of workshop: The Burden of a Great Potential -
Counseling the Gifted Client
/ Transpersonal Counseling and Consulting psychevolution.com
for Women Who Want to Change the World Without
their Friends, Shirts, or Minds
to terms with our emotional history is as much a part of 'our
as going to
classes, interviewing, auditioning, and giving performances."
Brebner - author: Setting
the Actor - Overcoming Creative Blocks
~ ~ ~
mid-'80s her career stalled, and she
something was holding her back.]
I went into therapy. I grew up in a typical '50s
family, and didn't have much psychological
didn't become conscious of certain patterns of
behavior in myself until I examined who I was and
what I wanted out of life...
to be a double-edged sword..
had a feeling that triumph would always bring a
loss. I recognized that what was limiting me was
the residual pain associated with
fearful, dark passages in my life, I've never felt
more happy or more secure than I do now.
~ ~ ~
Talent Development Resources**-site
therapy resources :
nurturing mental health