Talent Development Resources...............courage / confidence : page 2

.. .. Self-Limiting High Potential Persons.. etch enduring pathways over time by repeating their characteristic self-defeating methods... this tendency can evolve into a general self-limiting style. .... Each style represents a way in which what is possible and realizable in a person's life is habitually prevented or lost.

[one of the styles:] Extreme Risk-Takers: Energetic, mercurial, and impulsive, extreme risk-takers limit their success by habitually taking unnecessary risks.  Occasionally they achieve in dramatic fashion, but they are inconsistent because their reckless tactics minimize success and often ensure their own defeat. ... Sometimes these SLHPPs [Self-Limiting High Potential Persons] take unnecessary risks to avoid success they are not ready for.  In the film Tin Cup [1996], Kevin Costner plays such a person, a pro golfer, who, through extreme risk-taking tactics, squanders his chance to win the U.S. Open. -..-from book: Your Own Worst Enemy: Breaking  the Habit of Adult Underachievement by Kenneth W. Christian, PhD *related page:......self-limiting

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We all have many more abilities and internal resources than we know. My advice is that you don't need to break your neck to find out about them. To really become free inside takes either courage or disaster. Certainly to my kids I recommend courage.  Christopher Reeve... [Esquire, Jan 2004] photos from Christopher Reeve Paralysis Foundation site

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The only safe thing is to take a chance. Play safe and you are dead.  Taking risks is the essence of good work, and the difference between safe and bold can only be defined by yourself since no one else knows for what you are hoping when you embark on anything. Mike Nichols... [AARP Magazine Jan/Feb 2004]

*related article:....Taking risks by Douglas Eby

 
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Uma Thurman about making Kill Bill : Surfing the universe with a director like Quentin, with free-style creativity like his, to get to see someone be able to work in film so creatively and so freely and have the courage of their own convictions and do what they like, is not something you see everyday.  Nor do you see it much in the world, as not many people get to do what they like, so I kind of like to applaud somebody who has the courage to do that.  [darkhorizons.com interview by Paul Fischer Dec 10th, 2003]

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A major difference between extraverts and introverts is that extraverts think out loud, while introverts mentally rehearse everything before they say it... are not as forthcoming...  These "sideliners" seem less certain of themselves. The confidence of the extravert can be mistaken for higher intelligence. The slow-to-warm-up child is often terrified of looking foolish. -..-from Upside-Down Brilliance: The Visual-Spatial Learner -  by Linda Kreger Silverman *related page:...introversion / shyness

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My mom told me once that when you're afraid of something, what you want more than anything else is to make it go away. You want your life back to the way it was before you found out that there was something to be afraid of.  You want to build a high wall and live your old life behind it. But nothing ever stays the same. That's not your old life at all. That's your new life with a wall around it. Your choice is not about going back to the way things were. Your choice is about hiding, or about going right to the heart of the thing that scares you.  Allie Keys [Dakota Fanning, right] in "Taken" (2002) (mini) - written by Leslie Bohem <dvd>

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Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how.  The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong,  but we take leap after leap in the dark. Agnes De Mille

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.. .. I think the heart of this story is to be fearless. To not be afraid of doing things - to face your fears.  The whole heart in this version of 'Alice' is to believe in yourself... It's such an ageless story; it grows with you as you grow older. Tina Majorino  - about her 1999 production of Alice in Wonderland

.. .. from bio page on an Alice in Wonderland site image at right from the dvd -..-related book The Annotated Alice: The Definitive Edition  by Lewis Carroll, et al      [Amazon]   [Powells]

 

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It's just amazing the fear that Latin people have of being too Spanish or too Puerto Rican or too black or whatever. I think I never had that fear because of the way I grew up, being bused to special schools for gifted kids.  I was around white people all my life, and they did not intimidate me. They did not scare me, because I knew I was either just as good or better than them.  So I never felt like I had to be like them. I never did, and I never will. If Iím too brown and too strong for you, well, get out of the room, because Iím going to sit down and enjoy myself.  Rosie Perez     //  Hispanic Magazine.com hispaniconline.com Mar 2003

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Always do the things you fear the most. Courage is an acquired taste, like caviar.    Erica Jong - from newsletter of naww.org National Asssociation of Women Writers -..-Erica Jong books

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Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.  All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no one could have dreamed would have come their way.  Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Goethe- quoted in Jan Phillips' Museletter janphillips.com  book: Selected Works by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

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It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true. psychologist William James (1842-1910), in his book The Will to Believe

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.. .. It is not a chromosomal thing that makes many girls shy about speaking up in class, hesitant to dive into competitive sports, or tolerant of street harassment. It's not due to genetic makeup that women are less likely to run for political office, climb the corporate ladder, or attain equality -- whether equal pay on the job or equal attention in the bedroom. It's not nature; it's nurture. Internalized social messages and conditioning by a sexist, often violent society are what contributes to any female suppressing her naturally confident, daring self and replacing it with less risk-taking, less space-taking behavior. Well, it's time to deprogram.

It's time to reject all that keeps a woman quiet or unsure. Many girls are conditioned to downplay their abilities or needs so that no one else's feathers get ruffled. Most women are taught not to push for or promote their own self-interests. This antiquated behavior has kept women back. What femininity needs is a boost of bravado.  We perk up and take note when we hear about acts of female adventure and courage. They are stories we grab onto and delight in with others ("Hey, did you hear about the woman who...!"). We fix on these magnetic mental images and they become models of how we, too, can be in our lives ("If she can do it, so can I!"). So what we need are role models galore--down and dirty role models. They show what is possible. They show how to counteract the subtle and overt messages telling us to be "good girls" even when doing so isn't in our best interest. -..-from book: That Takes Ovaries!: Bold Females and  Their Brazen Acts - by Rivka Solomon posted on thattakesovaries.org

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Sharon Stone was not only good for "The Practice".. but "The Practice" was good for Sharon Stone. ... Stone tells me, "I would do it again -- it blows the rust out of you." She admits, "TV is a different world. It takes a lot of stamina, and in this role as a lawyer it takes a lot of thoughtfulness...  And those hours! They're so challenging. You're learning the next day's lines while running down the hall shooting today's scenes! I was careful and extremely serious. And I found a new kind of closeness as an actor and a new kind of courage I didn't have before." Army Archerd column, Variety, Oct. 15, 2003

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Having persistence and courage is really important. I wasn't overloaded with either of them in my early days, but I wish that had been different for me.  I've learned to overcome my insecurities, little by little. To be able to pick up the phone and call anybody, and share your idea -- that quality is really important.  This is a business of telling stories, and people are always looking for good ones. Who knows? Yours just might be the next one.  Joan Allen- from book: Great Women of Film by Helena Lumme

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To pursue acting... needed a fair degree of willfulness...  I grew up in quite an oppressive Catholic society. In order to survive that, you either had to be willful or risk losing touch with yourself. Judy Davis related column by Douglas Eby: Being Bold

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Penelope Cruz: I'm curious: I know you really love Frida Kahlo, but how old were you when you started being aware of her, and became obsessed with her? Salma Hayek: I first became aware of her when I was 14. ... I don't think that when I was young I quite understood what it was with the images, or with her, that I was fascinated with.  Later I understood that I had never known or read or heard about anybody like this woman: her courage to be unique, how she did everything in her own way.  She lived her life the way she wanted to live, never cared about what anybody thought--except Diego [Rivera, her husband and fellow artist] -- and she never apologized for anything. [Interview, April 2003] photo of Frida Kahlo, 1941  /  more quotes by Salma Hayek on painting: page 2

*books: Frida: A Biography by Hayden Herrera ***The Diary of Frida Kahlo: An Intimate Self-Portrait

*videos: Portrait of an Artist - Frida Kahlo [vhs, 1983]  /  Frida (2002) [dvd] Salma Hayek, dir.: Julie Taymor

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How was it to see yourself on the cover of ìVanity Fair?î It was cool. It was fun, I had good time with all the girls. I saw it and I was like - I'm always making fun of myself - I was like, ìI don't like how I look, my face looks too fat.î  That's how I am. I have to get more confident with myself, that's what I have to do right now.  For girls my age.. it's important that certain girls are fit and they look a certain way. You have to really get comfortable with your body. You're going to have your insecurities here and there, and I think my insecurities benefit me in a lot of ways, because [they] keep me grounded.  It's just a matter of being more comfortable with yourself and growing.

..     How does acting boost your confidence? It makes me feel good because it's what I love to do, and if I'm doing what I love to do, then it's giving me more confidence.  If people are appreciating what I do, it's giving me more confidence all in all. So it's definitely a plus for me. Lindsay Lohan  .. [about.com interview about "Freaky Friday"] photo from her site

*related pages:...........body image...........identity..........fame / celebrity

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I am far from naturally confident. But I realized that male-dominated cultures direct a lack of self-confidence into women, even defining ít as feminine. Gloria Steinem quote from site: Celebrities Learn to Cope - "what some celebrities say about their shyness"

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I really love the fact that [Queen Amidala] is a young woman .. young girls don't have that kind of role model in their lives...  Girls [lose] a lot of confidence in themselves as they grow up. They become much more worried about their looks than their intelligence or their personalities or their kindness or their souls. Natalie Portman    - from article: Role Models

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Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain  -- quoted in an issue of the Susan Dunn / GLOBAL:EQ newsletter

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Unfortunately, the way that people are still attempting to exude self-confidence has a lot to do with the images that they see mostly in the media. Women are still depending on how they are built and how attractive they are, and men still depend on their material acquisitions or wealth.  Those things are very exterior and very superficial ways of defining how men and women take the easy way out to feel that they are self-confident. ...  There will be times when you feel less than good about yourself and what you're doing. That's when you have to reinvent yourself. You have to set goals in your life to keep you moving and growing. Challenge yourself to move beyond where you are now. Gail Wyatt, PhD - Clinical psychologist and UCLA professor of psychiatry .. [Jet mag., Oct 21, 2002] ---Stolen Women: Reclaiming Our Sexuality, Taking Back Our Lives

*related pages:...........body image...........identity..........sexuality

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"I've always been told no -- and that just flicks a fire in me and makes me want to burn everything down. So I guess it's good when people tell you no. ...  "I had every single odd against me. There's the fact that I was a model turned actress and that I was beautiful and so I could never be taken seriously as an actress and that I'm blond and dumb, and she's just the It girl for now and tomorrow we won't know who she is! Having gone through that in the last five years of my life, that doesn't scare me any more." ... [And when all that falls away, what is left? The work, says Theron. Living and breathing a character.] "When you find that core," she states, "nothing else matters." Charlize Theron  .....[Toronto Sun, Sept 13, 1999]

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The poet Jelaluddin Rumi writes of night travelers who search the darkness instead of running from it, a companionship of people willing to know their own fear. ...  The next time you encounter fear, consider yourself lucky. This is where the courage comes in.  Usually we think that brave people have no fear. The truth is that they are intimate with fear. When I was first married, my husband said I was one of the bravest people he knew. When I asked him why, he said because I was a complete coward but went ahead and did things anyhow...... Pema Chodron   // book:   When Things Fall Apart

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Perhaps the greatest challenge that you will ever face in life is the conquest of fear and the development of the habit of courage.  Winston Churchill once wrote, "Courage is rightly considered the foremost of the virtues, for upon it, all others depend."

When you develop the habit of courage and unshakable self-confidence, a whole new world of possibilities opens up for you. Fortunately, the habit of courage can be learned just as any other success skill is learned.  -- from article The Courage to Take Action by Brian Tracy - site: Brian Tracy International

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.. .. So much [literature] is tame. Detective stories are very evocative and provocative. Very sexy, very flirtatious, very seductive to women.  In detective stories you have aggressive women, you have villainess' and that's sexy. The women aren't passive.  My favorite women ars Eustacia Vye, in Hardy, in The Return of the Native, and Maggie Tulliver in Mill On the Floss.  What's so interesting in those books -- I noticed this as a child and I was quite disturbed by it -- all the bad, willful, interesting, passionate, doomed heroines had dark hair, which made me feel great since I have dark hair.  What alarmed me a bit was that they all die. The blondes were the good girls, the rivals for the heros affections, and they all lived and got the guy.

.. .. Whereas my character ended up at the bottom of the weir. Dead. There was a lesson in that that I learned: that there was a price to pay not only for being dark haired but for being willful.  I decided quite early on that it was a price I was very happy to pay. Couldn't wait to pay it.  Susanna Moore   [left] -  from connoisseurweb.com interview photo above: Geraldine Fitzgerald (in 1940) -  she played Maggie Tulliver in film  The Mill on the Floss (1937) ....novel: In the Cut - by Susanna Moore

*related pages:.......body image............role models

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When I first heard about Firefly [her tv series], I was wary because I got it in my head that I hated LA. I think I was just afraid to leave home [in Canada], work in another country, create a whole new lifestyle. I don't really feel comfortable with change, so it's a big thing for me to be going down there and doing this. I feel like I'm expanding myself, learning more about myself, taking a risk. It actually feels good.   Jewel Staite  ... [back-stage-pass.com June 16 2002]

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The original Pali word for a Buddhist monk or Renuncient Bhikkhu means "fear seer" - one who can tolerate his own terror. .... Mark Epstein   **Going on Being: Buddhism and the Way of Change: A Positive Psychology for the West

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What is your greatest fear? The Kabbalists say that there are two kinds of fears, external fear and internal fear.  External fear is the fear of losing the things we value in the outside world, like honor, wealth, health, or life.  Internal fear is the fear of losing a sense of the divine within yourself, of disconnecting from what makes you sacred. .... Shoni Labowitz **Miraculous Living: A Guided Journey in Kabbalah Through the Ten Gates of the Tree of Life

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Eight or nine years ago, when I was living in New York, I started to be flown out to L.A. for auditions. I was filled with fear.  I had been part of a closely-knit theater company, Cornerstone, and while I was ready to pursue other things, the idea of putting myself out there in a new area was horrifying. This book taught me that life is about either loving or fearing. Underneath hatred, aggression, negativity -- it's all fear. If you can't admit that you're scared, you can't let go of those emotions and you can't move forward. This simple little life-affirming book -- one that I literally clutched in my sweaty palms in L.A. -- has provided me with a lot of comfort.  Amy Brenneman**[O, The Oprah Magazine, Oct. 2002] - about book:Love Is Letting Go of Fear

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I think that Drew's commitment to herself is awesome. I think she has said over and over again in her characters and her press that she's going to express herself and be unafraid to be who she is.  I just think that is so inspiring. I feel like what else is there than that -- that's the goal.  Sara Gilbert [from romanticmovies.about.com interview - about working with Drew Barrymore in movie Riding in Cars with Boys

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Feminists must work, as so many women artists are working, to give an imaginative shape to female potency so that it can be recognized for the awesome thing it is...   Germaine Greer   from her book The Whole Woman

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more:**courage/confidence : page 1.......courage/confidence : page 3

*related pages:.......self-esteem / self concept.......identity.......coaching.......fear.......anxiety

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