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depression and creativity

excerpts from The Creativity Book by Eric Maisel, PhD............

It isn't of life-and-death importance that the house be clean or that you remember everybody's birthday, but it is vital that the chaos of ideas that start to flood your brain when you open up to your own creativity have a place to be sorted and saved. If you don't give them that chance, then chaos overwhelms you and no work can get accomplished.  Many of us feel depressed, defeated, and incapable of creating for just this reason, that the swirl of ideas inside our head keeps swirling with no place to go. But something as simple as organization can turn that around. Investing in large erasable bulletin boards is an excellent starting point.  To weather every storm that arises in life more than erasable boards are needed, but those boards help enough that they amount to a fantastic investment.

Exercise: Forgive Yourself For Past Mistakes and Failures Make many little pencil marks on a piece of paper, each standing for a past failure. Then erase them one by one. As you do, say, "Maybe that was a failure, but I'm moving on. Erase the violin recital that went sour. Erase the scholarship that you didn't win. Erase the book that you started writing but never finished. Erase the stupid thing you said that cost you a promotion. Erase the terrible choice of lover you made. Erase the binge drinking episode and the six months lost to depression. At the end of the exercise say, "I forgive myself for all of this. I really mean it!"

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Much of what we value - our understanding of beauty, profundity, even romance - has been crafted by melancholics. Perhaps we were not so wrong in the '60s when we imagined sadness might contain a germ of resistance to a culture thriving on competition, consumption and celebrity.  Today, in a time when people demand serenity as if it were the human condition, one cheer for melancholy hardly seems excessive."   Psychiatrist Peter D. Kramer   [from his article: "Why I'm in Favor of Sadness" Self magazine, July, 2001]   book: Listening to Prozac by Peter D. Kramer

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Prozac Nation the book and movie

What professionals know is that as unattractive as depression's symptoms may appear, they stem from heartbreaking internal feelings of isolation, loneliness, self-hatred and anxiety.  In her book, Elizabeth Wurtzel [left] candidly describes this sense of helplessness, "No one will ever love me, I will live and die alone, I will go nowhere fast, I will be nothing at all. Nothing will work out. The promise that on the other side of depression lies a beautiful life, one worth surviving sucide for, will have turned out wrong. It will all be a big dupe." Such a pain-drenched description makes it easier for those on the outside to conjure feelings of sympathy. But it's usually a  difficult notion to keep in mind, particularly when a sufferer's negative feelings manifest in anger or hatred. This is why Christina Ricci [right] knew it was important she take on this role [as Wurtzel in the movie]. "I thought, 'What's the biggest problem with depression?' It's that people who don't suffer from it can't really understand what if feels like," says Ricci. "There are huge divisions within families and between friends because it's a really hard thing to be compassionate about. And what else am I doing with my job besides trying to make people feel something they might not otherwise be able to feel?" [from "Christina Ricci's Primal Scream" by Carin Gorrell, Psychology Today, April 2003 photo of Christina Ricci by Patrick de Warren] Elizabeth Wurtzel.  Prozac Nation : Young and Depressed in America : A Memoir Prozac Nation [dvd]

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Clients who are passionately engaged with their talent but are constantly separated from the creative experience by relentless self-criticism, self-doubt, and feelings of inferiority often suffer from another type of block. It is often accompanied by depression and the periodic shutting down of their spontaneous creative impulses. from article: Counseling Issues with Recognized and Unrecognized Gifted Adults by Mary Rocamora

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"The Hours".. conveys this sense that inner space is as vast, dramatic and surprising as outer space. Of course, the impulse to keep thinking about this movie owes something to worry about what it leaves out. For example, I worry that viewers, especially those who can't empathize with the self-erasure that goes along with living a derived life, may demonize Laura for leaving her family to save her life.  Some male moviegoers have emerged bewildered about why Laura wasn't happy with just her nice house, nice marriage and nice son -- as if they would've been. Even more, I worry that the absence of even a hint of the sexual abuse and isolation that left Woolf with childhood flashbacks and a lifetime of trauma -- beyond what society was willing to talk about then, but inexplicably left out of Cunningham's novel and this film -- may make her depressions seem a personal fault.  For example, there is a reference to the suicide of one of her "Mrs. Dalloway" characters, yet not to the fact that he was a traumatized veteran of World War I to whom Woolf herself would have felt personally linked. Because the film's prologue shows Woolf's own suicide 18 years later -- yet gives us no clue that the march of fascism and the beginning of World War II were part of what pushed her over the edge -- I worry that her radical act of self-determination is deprived of its context then, and its resonance now.  If the response of the New York Times' reviewer is any measure, I'm right to worry. Though he praised the film, he attributed Woolf's suffering to the "faulty wiring" of her brain. from article: 'The Hours' captures the merit and suspense of introspection and the importance of living in the present - by Gloria Steinem... [LA Times, Jan 12 2003] / the film is based on the book: The Hours by Michael Cunningham

Virginia Woolf   Gloria Steinem

**related page:....Virginia Woolf

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Most of us suffer through our dark emotions or grab at the pleasant ones  like prizes at a county fair  but we aren't able to maintain our focus or our equilibrium around the emotions. Being creative means experiencing the emotions with consciousness and skill. For instance, an uninspired way to handle depression is to try to shake it off with distractions or drugs. Both can help relieve depression for a while, but they don't bring consciousness to the depression itself; both actually tend to cement depression into a repetitive state. Now, if we can bring skills and consciousness to depression, we can find out why our energy is gone, where it might be, and what our inner selves are trying to say to us. I call depression "ingenious stagnation," because there's always a very good reason for energy and flow to vacate the psyche in a depression. Sometimes, depression is a reaction to an unhealing relationship... a physiological response to something in our environment... a reaction to unrelieved trauma. It's different for each of us. When we use our creativity to fully experience our depression instead of running away from it, it becomes a valuable tool in our growth and development. Karla McLaren - from interview by Sounds True www.soundstrue.com her site: Emovere.com - "Emovere is the Latin root for the word emotion. It means 'to move outward or onward.'" *Emotional Genius : Discovering the Deepest Language of the Soul by Karla McLaren

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Within psychology, psychosocial theories proposed to explain depression are assumed to have general applicability and, therefore, to account for depression in women. Although the body is implicated in both the expression and aetiology of depression, psychosocial models do not address the female body.  Moreover, in development of psychosocial theories the meaning of depressive experiences from women's standpoint has been ignored. from article: Dis-ordering Depression in Women : Toward a Materialist-Discursive Account  - by Janet M. Stoppard, University of New Brunswick - Theory & Psychology journal, 1 February 1998 *Understanding Depression: Feminist Social Constructionist Approaches  - by Janet M. Stoppard

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While reading the script [for "The Good Girl], when did you connect with the character..? On page three, just her opening monologue, feeling stuck, even though I am in a career. The first thing you think of is, well, we all have wants, we all have battles with sadness and depression. I grew up definitely squelching that and becoming a funny person, which was a wonderful source of survival and then I was lucky enough to be able to make a living at it. ...  There is that part of ourselves that becomes very sad or depressed or dark and haunted. We all have our haunts, I think.......Jennifer Aniston......[Los Angeles Confidential, Sep 20-Dec 31 2002]

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.. .. Oscar nominee Halle Berry was so depressed after her 1997 divorce she was on the brink of committing suicide. Berry, who was also going to take the lives of her two dogs, was sitting in her car inhaling the deadly exhaust fumes when the thought of her mother made her see sense.

She says, "I was going to sit in the car and asphyxiate myself. As I sat there sort of waiting for it to happen, and something was telling me on the right side of my brain, 'Girl, don't do it.' I thought, 'What is my mother going to think if she finds me dead in this car?' I couldn't do that to her. So I got out." Berry believes her suicidal thoughts came about because, "I was still using men and my mate to identify who I was. And when that was gone, then I was nothing." Now, though, the actress, remarried to singer Eric Benét after divorcing baseball star David Justice, feels, "more clear about who I am. I like the woman that I've evolved into. And I would never harm her now."      [imdb.com 22 March 2002]

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....The Depression Book: Depression As an Opportunity for Spiritual Growth by Cheri Huber Depression is emptiness, exhaustion, and meaninglessness (p. 129). Zen teacher, Cheri Huber's 150-page book is not "an explanation of nor a cure for depression;" it is about facing depression with compassion. "The perspective of this book is that there is nothing more important than compassion," Huber writes, "everything else springs from that" (p. 143). Depression offers us an opportunity for spiritual growth. "Like everything else in life," Huber writes, "depression is an ally, a gift. It has something to teach us" (p. 98). "Depression brings me back to myself in a way much of life does not," she writes. "It gets my attention. It says, 'Stop! Pay attention!'"(p. 69). Depression allows us to see the cause of our suffering, to see who we are, to embrace ourself in compassion, and to let go and end the suffering (p. 1).  Instead of "numbing ourselves to depression with food, drugs, alcohol, sex, talking" (p. 63), Huber recommends that we get to know our emotions; rest, eat well, and exercise regularly; and take up an awareness practice that enables us to let go of false beliefs and assumptions about how we and the world should be (p. 146).

I arrived at this book through a friend who encouraged me to read Cheri Huber. Since this is the second Huber book I've read this week, I guess I'm hooked on Huber.  Her book is equal parts Zen, inspiration, and self-help, and printed in a handwritten format, "to slow the reader down so that awareness can touch the heart as well as the head." It is engaging and insightful.  Huber teaches us that, depressed or not, "your life reflects your attitude of mind; your attitude of mind does not reflect your life" (p. 96). I recommend this book to anyone interested in knowing themself better, or following their heart.      [from Amazon.com review by G. Merritt]

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The Van Gogh Blues - by Eric Maisel This is not a book about van Gogh.  He appears, disappears,  reappears, but he never settles down as our central subject or object.  Rather, this is a book about all creators: about you, me, painters in Tokyo, biologists in Moscow, novelists in Egypt.  It is about who we are, what we do, and why we get depressed.  Obliquely, it is about the meaning in literal blue skies and in the blue skies of paintings.  Directly, it is about the heroism required of creators.  I hope this book will help you and support you when meaning starts to fail and depression stealthily creeps in. Eric Maisel - from Creativity Newsletter - see ericmaisel.com

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Experts now recognize that depression is a multifaceted disorder with dysregulation in a number of different systems. There may be a genetic factor... [and] there are brain chemicals that change as a result of being depressed -- but you can regulate them through psychological means.  Neuroimaging studies show that the same areas of the brain that are changed with Prozac are changed with cognitive psychotherapy.

The good news is that there are different routes to getting better. ... Depressed people spend a lot of time ruminating about the past or the future. Mindfulness is a way of bringing the mind into the present moment. ...  Paying attention to what ordinarily occurs very automatically allows you to step out of cognitive rumination about things. It's knowing where your mind is, rather than letting it be hijackled by concerns or evaluations.  from interview with Zindel Segal, PhD in Blues Buster, Feb. 2002 info/order form: Blues Buster newsletter: psychologytoday.com *book:**Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression:  A New Approach to Preventing Relapse - by Zindel V. Segal, et al image from Handbook of Functional Neuroimaging of Cognition

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January 9, 1990.  I'm on my second day of no sleep and I actually feel great.
I'm running on fumes with the nutritional support of Diet Coke, coffee, and
Hostess powdered-sugar doughnuts.

In the middle of the night, hunched over my computer, with the rest of the
house dark and quiet, I feel a certain moral superiority to the sleeping world.  ///

January 14,1990.  There is something about flying through time, as I have over
the past week, that makes me think that I am exempted from the laws of gravity.

But the way I feel today lets me know that I'm not. I have done another of the
crash-and-burns that are the price for my blitzes. I am grounded, heavy, and slow.

I have overdosed on effort, and the hangover is horrible. I guess this is what I get
for flying too close to the sun. Unfortunately, I never remember this part when I am aloft.

   excerpt from Martha Manning Undercurrents : A Life Beneath the Surface

Martha Manning.  Undercurrents : A Life Beneath the Surface
[reader review:] "38 year old wife/mom/psychotherapist/writer shares her journal, which details
her descent into depression, her encounters with therapists, her eventual hospitalization and in-patient
ECT therapy... and her slow climb from numbness back to the realm of the living, able to appreciate
and enjoy what life has to offer.

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The descent is characterized as a journey to the underworld, the dark night of the soul,
the belly of the whale, the meeting of the dark goddess, or simply as depression.

It is usually precipitated by a life changing loss. ... Women often make their descent
when a particular role, such as daughterhood, motherhood, lover, or spouse, comes to an end. ...

I write with trepidation about the descent because I have great respect for the process and
do not want to trivialize it. It is a sacred journey. In our culture, however, it is usually categorized
as a depression which must be medicated and eliminated as quickly as possible.

No one likes to be around someone who is depressed. If we chose, however, to honor the descent
as sacred and as a necessary aspect of the quest to fully know ourselves, fewer women would lose
their way in depression, alcohol, abusive relationships, or drugs. They could experience their feelings
without shame, reveal their pain without apathy."

 from article: "The Initiation and Descent to the Goddess" by Maureen Murdock

book: Maureen Murdock. The Heroine's Journey
 

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   book:

Joseph Schildkraut and Aurora Otero. Depression and the Spiritual in Modern Art : Homage to Miro

"Throughout history, mental illness and artistic creativity have been linked--even the Greeks
speculated that the two might be associated. Inspired by this idea -- along with an abiding love
of the work of the Spanish artist Joan Miro -- Schildkraut, who is a professor of psychiatry,
organized with his Spanish colleague Otero, a symposium in Barcelona in 1993.

The proceedings of that symposium, which drew together prominent international experts
in psychiatry, psychology, and art history are represented in this generously illustrated volume.
Contributions are organized into four sections. In the first, Mood Disorders and Artistic Creativity --
the link between depression and art -- is explored from a theoretical perspective and also,
empirically, in the lives of individual artists.

This mix of theory and case study continues in the next section, The Spiritual in Modern Art.
The third section, Joan Miro, is devoted exclusively to exploring the link between depression
and creativity in the life and work of the great Catalan artist. A section on Abstract Expressionists
of the New York School concludes the volume."          [med.harvard.edu review]
 

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******************Zelda Fitzgerald

Though prospects of relief from mental suffering are much greater than they were
in the 1930's, hard-to-treat conditions persist. Only rarely are they discussed with the
combination of high seriousness, open irritability and occasional good humor that
these letters display. [letters F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote to his wife Zelda's physician]

Implicit in them is a plea for answers: What is normal excitation and what is mania?
What is individual and what is familial? When does literary aspiration become "a complex
about writing"? This puzzlement is still with us - about an ailment that can appear all but
indistinguishable from self."

from article: How Crazy Was Zelda? by Peter D. Kramer, the New York Times Magazine,
December 1, 1996 - posted on The Legend of Zelda site: poprocks.com/zelda.htm

**book: Zelda Fitzgerald: A Biography by Nancy Milford

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I'm collapsed in a pile of shoes on my closet floor. ... I have no memory
of what it feels like to be happy. I sit with my knees pulled up to my chest.

I barely move. It's not that I want to be still. I am numb. I can tell I'm crying,
but it's not like tears I've shed before. My eyes feel as though they have moved
deep into the back of my head. There is only hollow space in front of them.

Despite my outward appearance, I feel like a lifeless form. I feel like I'm playing
hide-and-seek from my own life, except that I just want to hide and never be found. ....

My mother has always been my role model, and I believe my survival
in the entertainment business is in large part due to my desire to be a strong
woman like my mother. She is my hero.

I can vividly recall what it felt like to be alone and in a crumpled heap
on the closet floor. I remember thinking that my mother would never
have fallen apart like that. I was sure no one would understand what
I was going through.

I could have managed the pain. It was the shame that was destroying me.

**book:  Marie Osmond. Behind the Smile : My Journey Out of Postpartum Depression

 
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There can be a value to highly emotive experiences in childhood, ones which press toward
clarification of values and self-concept, but sexual abuse is precipitous and overwhelming.

One of the most common results of the complex mix of abuse-engendered thoughts and
behaviors is depression.

from article: Cognitive Accommodations to Childhood Sexual Abuse
 

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"Creative people often worry that taking an anti-manic drug such as lithium
will strip them of their creativity.  Mogens Schou, the researcher who pioneered
the use of lithium in manic-depressive disorder, once did a study in which he
interviewed twenty-four highly creative people on maintenance lithium therapy.

Twelve felt the lithium had not influenced their creativity, six reported that their
creativity had been diminished, and six felt that their creativity had been enhanced."

from book: Manic Depression and Creativity

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