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Ego / narcissism : page 1.............Talent Development Resources --..home page...site map
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 New York native Michael
Malice is a fairly
streetwise geek of frightening intelligence, if he does say so himself.
Which he does. Numerous times. Malice's autobiography consists of a long string of episodes where he is right and everyone else is wrong. From first grade—where a teacher forces him to mispronounce a word in a children's story—to his string of nowhere temp jobs, he's in constant contact with people who are far stupider than he... |
He
has unshakable confidence in himself. Dumping a girlfriend with
leukemia, beating up on his intellectual inferiors, heaping contempt on
those he doesn't agree with, Malice has endless energy for pointing out
the faults in others.
Still, Pekar makes him a compelling and memorable character, with his endless hunger for something better. Malice is clever and, at moments, surprisingly sympathetic—chiefly when he contradicts his own stated principles and derives intense satisfaction from the approval of others. From Publishers Weekly summary of the book Ego & Hubris : The Michael Malice Story - by Harvey Pekar |
 |
“You gotta keep ego in check”
“This business [entertainment] is tough, it is so tough. But my first and foremost thing is like, ego always gets in the way. You gotta keep that in check - you got to.” actor Vera Farmiga [buzzine.com interview; photo: with Alex Neuberger in "Running Scared"] > related article: Ego and Creativity |
and maximize your potential.
Wayne Dyer - author of The Power of Intention
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During Double Indemnity (1944) Fred MacMurray would go to rushes. I remember asking Fred, "How was I?" "I don't know about you - but I was wonderful!"
Such a true remark. Actors only look at themselves.
Barbara Stanwyck ... [imdb bio]
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Tom is an amazing person, he has so much integrity about the work; he's one of the hardest workers I"ve ever seen. He doesn't take anything for granted. He never thinks because he is so talented he will stop learning or growing. He's humble.
Penelope Cruz - about Tom Cruise ..
[Hollywood Life April 2005 / photo by Art Streiber]~ ~ ~ ~
| the
corrupting envy of genius
Antonio Salieri [F. Murray Abraham] - addressing a crucifix: From now on we are enemies, You and I. Because You choose for Your instrument a boastful, lustful, smutty, infantile boy [referring to Mozart] and give me only the ability to recognize the incarnation. Because You are unjust, unfair, unkind I will block You, I swear it. I will hinder and harm Your creature on Earth as far as I am able. I will ruin Your incarnation. While my father prayed earnestly to God to protect commerce, I would offer up secretly the proudest prayer a boy could think of: Lord, make me a great composer.... |
 Let
me celebrate Your glory through music and be celebrated myself. Make me
famous through the world.
Dear God make me immortal. After I die let people speak my name forever with love for what I wrote. In return I will give You my chastity, my industry, my deepest humility, every hour of my life, Amen. Amadeus (1984) |
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....
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left. Oscar Levant .. [1906-1972]
[Christchurch, New Zealand Press, quoted in The Week, Jan 28 2005]
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Ben Stiller admits he behaves like a "real a**hole" on film sets - because he's always trying to prove himself. The Zoolander star, 38, claims the movie business encourages egomaniacal behavior as there is a constant need to assert yourself in order to remain at the top. And Stiller acknowledges he sometimes lets the moment get the better of him. He explains, "Normally, people tend to shut off their ambitions and competitive thinking because it doesn't help them much in normal life.
"But in the movie business you've constantly got to prove yourself. So I can be a real a**hole on the set sometimes." [imdb.com 28 Sep 2004]
> on the set of "Along Came Polly"
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That's been surprising [the high visibility of his CNN show Anderson Cooper 360]. In some ways it makes living in New York like living in Mayberry -- it's amazing how nice people suddenly are to me. The world reacts very strangely to people they see on TV, and I can begin to understand how anchor monsters are made. If you're not careful, you can become used to being treated as though you're special and begin to expect it. For a reporter, that's the kiss of death.
Anderson Cooper ... [Interview, October 2004]
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A perfectly autonomous and truly liberated individual is a very rare and powerful thing. For most individuals, autonomy or individual freedom is almost always connected with ego. Even the idea of perfect autonomy, free from impure motives, is almost inconceivable. But when you go beyond ego and awaken to the authentic self, and as a result begin to manifest purity of motive and integrity of action, then you will find that your own inherent strengths and your unique gifts and talents, based on the countless influences that have made up your particular individuality, will be liberated and begin to dynamically express themselves in a very natural way.
Andrew Cohen - quoted in W-ISDOM list 9/06/04 [see the newsletters page]
....Living Enlightenment : A Call for Evolution Beyond Ego
- by Andrew Cohen, Ken Wilber
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 .. .. My name on the search-engine Google yields a smattering of Czech poets, a professor of rhetoric at Berkeley, countless Scandivanian teens... Then there's the matter of my birth date. This weekend, I shuffled glumly through a photography exhibit titled "Unrepentant Ego," four decades of portraits by the artist Lucas Samaras.. Only when I stumbled on a photo taken the day I was born did I perk up. // |
 .. .. Even if we always circle back to ourselves. Kaja Perina - Editor in Chief, Psychology Today [April 2004] left : Hand With Sphere, by MC Escher [1935] [framed print] right : "Photo Transformation" (1973) from "Unrepentant Ego" survey of about 300 self-portraits / Lucas Samaras book |
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Remember, most of the things you think you need are ego trips designed to bolster your image and your perceptions of security. Many of them are not particularly vital. You'll waste a lot of energy satisfying your ego only to find that, as soon as it's got what it wants, it ignores all your efforts and promptly nails another list of demands to your forehead.
Stuart Wilde ... [W-ISDOM mailing list Jan 28 2004]....God's Gladiators by Stuart Wild
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Scarlett Johansson.. Crediting her close friends and family for keeping her grounded, she sums everything up by stating, "I've been in work mode and I suppose that prevents me.. going into Hollywood starlet mode." Scarlett Johansson
from Zap2It article, January 5, 2004 By Holly Aguirre - posted on scarlettjohansson.org
photo: as Griet in Girl with a Pearl Earring
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|
Sarah Small has taken a Polaroid of herself daily for the past five years... "I began taking these pictures because of my fascination with a photographer named Martha Madigan. She photographed herself, her husband and the same tree every single day for more than 10 years. "I became excited about recording what I was going through in life. Now my project has turned into a compulsion to record all emotions, to have evidence that all these states of mind exist." ~ ~ There is a tradition that dates at least to Freud's analysis of Leonardo da Vinci, in which artistic behavior is seen as an expression of repressed feelings and pathological impulses. Many in our profession would be inclined to attribute Small's photographs to narcissism or anxiety or body image distortions. But none of these really explains an artist's creativity. |
 .. .. Small's work is an interesting and intimate way to tell the story of a life. We would understand absolutely nothing about the work or about her by pathologizing it. psychologist Michael Schulman .. [Psychology Today, Aug 2003] collage by Sarah Small from her site sarahsmall.com |
 |
 *related
article on "pathologizing": Misdiagnosis of the Gifted related book : Seeing Ourselves : Women's Self-Portraits by Frances Borzello |
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 .. .. Narcissists are effective and alluring. They're tough. I like the idea of someone who can withstand the storm of rejections, betrayals and humiliations that life is bound to offer and remain convinced that he's special. (And I don't use "he" here lightly; the DSM-IV estimates that 50 to 75 percent of narcissists are men.) The shamelessness of a narcissist -- barreling forward at everyone's expense, demanding more attention than anyone else at the cocktail party, barking opinions without any discernible evidence to back them up -- is offensive but also fascinating. "Narcissistic" -- like "intimidating" -- is one of those bullying insults that contains a hint of admiration, even jealousy, that makes it seem more like a compliment in the end. Though we pretend the word offers a damning assessment of someone's character, it also secretly portrays them as bold, forceful, exciting. So what's not to like? |
"Their
needs are more important than anyone else's, and they expect to be
accommodated
in all things. They can't.. comprehend why they might not always come
first.
"Their expectations have an almost childlike quality, yet they can be tyrannically outraged or pitifully depressed when thwarted." So writes Los Angeles psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss in the introduction to her new book, amusingly called Why Is It Always About You? Hotchkiss doesn't offer any new news about the cause of narcissism in this guide -- she follows the standard psychoanalytic approach (it's all rooted in infancy; you didn't individuate successfully; it's your parents' faults) -- but she does clearly portray just what the disorder entails. "The Narcissist has no ability to value, or often enough, even to recognize, the separate existence or feelings of other people," Hotchkiss explains. (Notice Hotchkiss capitalizes the "N" in Narcissist. Like the "G" in God.) from
article: But
enough about you - From Britney Spears to about book : Sandy Hotchkiss. Why Is It Always About You? : Saving Yourself from the Narcissists in Your Life |
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Way down, close to the bottom of the list of the evils individualism visits on our culture is the fact that in the modern era it isn't enough to write; you must also be a Writer... you pretend to play it solo, preserving the myth that you alone are the wellspring of your creativity. Tony Kushner - in book Creators on Creating: Awakening and Cultivating the Imaginative Mind
*related page:**collaboration~ ~ ~ ~
 |
I'd
like to be more involved in making the world a better place. I'd like
to
be more concerned about humanity. Up until a year ago, as much as I
love
my children and I give to my family, I wasn't really concerned about
the
person who lives next door or on the other side of the globe.
But because people look up to me, it's my responsibility to think more about that. I am chipping away at my gigantic ego. I'd like to get to a place where I no longer care about what others think of me. And I'm getting there. When you think about the state the world is in, the terrorism and imminent war, the planet being destroyed and desecrated, it is a public figure's responsibility to not just raise public awareness but to offer solutions to the problem and to be very involved. I think it is my responsibility to enlighten people on a spiritual level and get people to think about themselves and the world as non-fragmented.......Madonna***[imdb.com Celeb News 11 Oct 2002] |
*related page:**social activism***......*related articles:***Ego and Creativity
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I love to write... And if I really like something and think it's really good, I'll publish it. But I do think I've said everything I have to say in terms of stories. You get to a point where you not only start to repeat yourself, but you start to think you're important ... which means you become boring and sort of a windbag. I have to be very careful of that.
Stephen King......[LA Times 3.28.03]
[Do you think there's a narcissism quotient in wanting to be an actor?] Ben Affleck: I'd say it's the one quality that unites everybody in the film industry, whether you're an actor, a producer, a director, or a studio executive. You want people to look at you and love you and go, "Oh, you're wonderful."
It's a nightmare. Narcissism is the part of my personality that I am the least proud of, and I certainly don't like to see it highlighted in everybody else I meet. It's like all things in life: You have these qualities in you that are awful, and the best you can do is to try to be aware of them and actively try to diminish them......[Interview mag., Dec. 1997]
Masterpieces are not single and solitary births; they are the outcome of many years of thinking in common,
of thinking by the body of the people, so that the experience of the mass is behind the single voice.Virginia Woolf / quote from Jan Phillips' Museletter janphillips.com
related page: collaboration
[From Late Latin sciolus (smatterer), diminutive of Latin scius (knowing), from scire (to know). Another example of the similar kind of word formation is the name of the bird oriole which is derived from the diminutive form of Latin aureus (golden).]
"On the other hand, judged strictly by the standard of his own time, (Francis) Bacon's ignorance of the progress which science had up to that time made is only to be equalled by his insolence toward men in comparison with whom he was the merest sciolist." Thomas H. Huxley; Harvey Discovers The Circulation Of The Blood; History of the World.
from A Word A Day http://wordsmith.org/words/
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...
Even though narcissism comes from the Greek myth superficially understood to represent self-love, exactly the opposite is true in the narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic style.The narcissist has buried his (or her) true self-expression in response to early injuries and replaced it with a highly-developed, compensatory "false self."
**from book Humanizing the Narcissistic Style by Stephen M. Johnsonimages: face of news anchor Donna Gregory, from left to right, as it normally appears, with two left sides, and with two right sides - from a website on facial symmetry
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| The
more I
grow, the less I become this egocentric thing that is prone to anger
and
hatred and all this other stuff. ... The trick is to get out of the way
of the ego, so that whatever is of value illuminating inside you or me
or the waiter or anybody else.. can be seen. The job of the creative
person
is to get out of the way. ...Richard
Gere ... [LA
Times, 1/5/03] .....~ Lodi Gyari, emissary of His Holiness the Dalai Lama in Washington, who has known Gere for twenty years, says that Gere is extraordinarily happy to have come into the dharma, because his path is so exceptionally difficult. "You see all these very famous people, and they are the most unhappy. They suffer so much because of their self-importance, because of their ego. And there’s Richard, so very happy because he’s Richard Gere - he’s famous. But at the same time he can really lead a life that is free from what many of his peers in Hollywood suffer from on a daily basis." [from article: Richard Gere Knows What Counts, Shambhala Sun, Nov 2002] |
 |
related books:Buddhism Without Beliefs: A Contemporary Guide to Awakening - by Stephen Batchelor
Thoughts Without a Thinker: Psychotherapy from a Buddhist Perspective by Mark Epstein, MD
...related page:....Buddhist psychology
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| A
little reflection
soon shows how inconceivable it is really to love others (not merely to
need them), if one cannot love oneself as one really is. And how could
a person do that if, from the very beginning, he has had no chance to
experience
his true feelings and to learn to know himself?
For the majority of sensitive people, the true self remains deeply and thoroughly hidden. But how can you love something you do not know, something that has never been loved? So it is that many a gifted person lives without any notion of his or her true self. Such people are enamored of an idealized, conforming, false self. They will shun their hidden and lost true self, unless depression makes them aware of its loss or psychosis confronts them harshly with that true self, whom they now have to face and to whom they are delivered up, helplessly, as to a threatening stranger. |
 I am trying to come closer to the origins of this loss of the self. .. I shall speak occasionally of a healthy narcissism and depict the ideal case of a person who is genuinely alive, with free access to the true self and his authentic feelings. I shall contrast this with narcissistic disorders, with the true self's "solitary confinement" within the prison of the false self. This I see less as an illness than as tragedy..
|
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For contrary to Narcissus of Greek legend, who was enthralled by his own reflection in a pool of water, researchers say that roughly 1 million Americans with this personality disorder act not from self-love but from a kind of self-loathing, a dread of failure and an inability to endure its emotional fallout -- shame. Millions more are thought to suffer from narcissistic tendencies, due to similar but less extreme fears. Recent research suggests that this anguish develops in early childhood, and that therapists can help put it to rest.
New treatments combine advice on handling everyday situations -- so-called cognitive therapy -- with emotional forays into the unconscious more typical of psychoanalysis.
This integration of biology and psychology amounts to a "paradigm shift" in the way that therapists understand conditions such as narcissism, said Allan Schore, a UCLA behavioral specialist and expert on the origins of personality disorders.
"The essential thing seems to be that the patient not only see their narcissism, and talk about it," he said, "but also that they have a physical experience of the emotion that underlies it -- rage, shame, sadness, whatever it is."
******
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The narcissistic character disorder is described in the DSM-III (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) as having the following characteristics: an inflated sense of self-importance; fantasies of unlimited success, fame, power, beauty, and perfect love (uncritical adoration); exhibitionism (a need to be looked at and admired):
a tendency to feel rage with little objective cause; a readiness to treat people with cool indifference as punishment for hurtful treatment or as an indication of the fact they have no current use for the person;
a tendency toward severe feelings of inferiority, shame, and emptiness; a sense of entitlement accompanied by the tendency to exploit; a tendency to overidealize or devalue people based largely on a narrow focus; an inability to empathize.
This list is extensive but not all-inclusive. We are said to live in the age of narcissism. Few of us are entirely free of its traits.
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 |
Punished by a goddess for her constant chatter, Echo was confined to repeating the words of others. Enamoured of Narcissus, the son of the river god Cephisus and the nymph Liriope, she tried to win his love using fragments of his own speech, but he spurned her attentions. Passing by a stream, the beautiful youth caught a glimpse of his reflection in a stream and became transfixed by the lovely image. Believing it to be the form of a nymph, he vainly courted the watery mirage and wasted away through unrequited love. He was transformed into the flower that bears his name and Echo pined away until nothing but her voice remained.*****[image and description from artmagick.com] related book : J W Waterhouse by Anthony Hobson |
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related pages:* ego / narcissism : page 2: quotes, articles, books
******the shadow self*****Ego and Creativity
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