Emotions: From the General to the
Specific
excerpts
from The Personal Journey Workbookby Mary Rocamora and Ron Koertge
Our
emotions are the first things we have inner awareness of. When we're
little,
we react
spontaneously: toy
breaks,
kid cries. Later our reactions feel less spontaneous, more inevitable:
"Every time Mom calls, I
feel bad."
Frankly, a precise
emotional
vocabulary is essential for this work and most of us can do better
than bad, down, weird,
or
off. Awareness yearns for the specific quality of each individual
emotion
like a gourmet who longs
for the individual piquancies of Thai curry, not just food.
For example, rather
than
bad, let's try a more congenial level of specificity like depressed,
sad,
or guilty. Identifying
guilt,
for example, as a specific emotion lets Awareness do things it can't do
with bad or weird which
aren't connected to specific feeling states. Emotions need to be
identified.
Only then can they can
go
on the itinerary of places we regularly visit.
The next time you
feel a
little weird, ask yourself, "What am I really feeling?"
For example,
specificity
lets Awareness ask, "Does guilt feel familiar? Are there certain people
who always make me feel
guilty? Where does guilt come from in my personal history?"
The sweet thing is
that Awareness
has been longing for this kind of distinct identification. Now
it can go to work. It
can
name the emotion and stay with it where before it could only defend
("It's not my fault."),
project ("It's his fault!"), deny ("Guilt? What guilt?"), over-identify
("It's always
my fault."), indulge
("Punish
me. I'm guilty!").
Now, let's go a step
further.
Can you feel Awareness being trapped and, at the same time, free
to observe and name? In
our example, the trapped part of Awareness feels guilt. The free part
observes the feeling of
guilt.
Choose an emotion
that comes
up a lot for you. How much of your Awareness is trapped
and how much is free to
observe?
~ ~ ~
Someone who's easily irritated
can
feel irritated as he also feels, "Oh, jeez. Irritated again."
The free part of Awareness can
ask,
"How much irritation? Under what circumstances?" Awareness
can reach out to look for where
something
comes from: "Gee, Dad was always irritated. In fact,
my whole family was annoyed a lot
of the time."
If Awareness is completely
trapped,
it can feel only irritation. Awareness-free, however, can see
how irritation occurs again and
again
and makes life unpleasant. Awareness-free can see how
irritation is really only an
automatic
response.
After all, irritation is not
the only
response to standing in line at the post office.
~
~ ~
Exercise:
Look at this list of emotions.
Fear Anxiety
(specific
and free-floating) Tension
Jealousy
Apprehensiveness (anticipatory fear)
Dread
Panic
Terror Fright Paranoia
Defensiveness
Feeling threatened
Shut down or disconnected (fear
of
feeling) Disassociation (distancing from feelings)
Trying to
control
Anger Aversion, disgust
Outrage
Irritability Hostility
Rage
Hatred
Judgment
Attacking
Rejection Punishment Pain
Sadness
Hoping Abandonment
Isolation
Loss
Loneliness Guilt Shame,
humiliation,
embarrassment
Inadequacy,
worthlessness
Unloveableness Depression (clinical, episodic,
event-induced)
Love
Affection
Gratitude Joy
Compassion
Grief Sorrow Remorse Openness
Pick one that feels old and
familiar.
_________
What color is it? __________
What temperature is it?
____________
Where is it located in your body?
_________
What are the circumstances under
which this emotion comes up?______
Where does this come from in your
personal history? ___________
How does this reactive, automatic
habit distort what's really going on? __________
~ ~ ~
Unfortunately, many of us have
underlying
emotions that are too frightening, overwhelming or painful
to feel directly. What might you
be unwilling to feel directly? Isolation, shame, feeling exposed,
needing,
worthlessness, vulnerability are
some possibilities.
Do you have underlying
emotions that
you are afraid to feel directly? (They could be carefully hidden
by other feelings, so be easy on
yourself.) If so, what are they? ______
How do you defend yourself
against
feeling these directly? Lots of us defend, shut down, disconnect,
disassociate, judge, attack, or
punish.
For our purposes, we'd like to
develop
a new relationship with our emotions, especially those that feel
painful and hidden. Let's stay
with
all our emotions with affection and interest. We can turn beet red
even as we say to ourselves, "Oh,
here's shame. Again."
Awareness needs to be able to
just
"be with." It needs to be able to connect with everything that's
in there. However, this is not
the
time to change behavior or even your feelings. Don't call up Mom
with a list of grievances. Don't
confront your boss or anybody else.
For right now, let's just see
what's
there.
~ ~
excerpts from book: Personal
Journey Workbook by Mary Rocamora and Ron Koertge
published by The
Rocamora School
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
>>
also see 
...emotional
intelligence resources........
Joseph
Adamson
and Hilary Clark. Scenes
of Shame: Psychoanalysis, Shame, and Writing
Tara
Bennett-Goleman. Emotional
Alchemy : How the Mind Can Heal the Heart
Lucia
Capacchione. Living
With Feeling: The Art of Emotional Expression
[reader:]
If you were raised, as I was, with parents who believed it was simply
not
all right to feel certain feelings; then, as I have, you will find this
book liberating and very helpful. After reading the book, I wanted to
particapate
in a workshop session based on these writing and lead by the author.
...
What happened during the workshop class seemed nothing short of amazing
as everybody in the group discussed their experience of new feelings
while
doing exercises from the book. Being given access to new parts of our
feelingful
life is a very useful gift -- that's what this book delivers!
Doc
Childre
and Deborah Rozman, PhD. Overcoming
Emotional Chaos: Eliminate anxiety, lift depression and create
security
in your life
Antonio
R. Damasio. Descartes'
Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain
Antonio
R. Damasio. The
Feeling of What Happens : Body and Emotion in the Making of
Consciousness
Paul
Ekman. Emotions
Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication
and
Emotional Life
Emotions
Revealed explores the evolutionary essence of anger, sadness, fear,
surprise,
disgust, contempt, and happiness. Drawing on his fieldwork
investigating
universal facial expressions in Papua New Guinea and his analysis of
the
prognosis of hospital patients based on their emotional profile, Ekman
shows that emotions are deeply imbedded in the human species. In the
process,
he answers such questions as: What triggers emotions and can we stop
them?
How does our body signal to others whether we are slightly sad or
anguished,
peeved or enraged? Can we learn to distinguish between a polite smile
and
the genuine thing? Unique exercises and photographs help readers
identify
emotions in themselves and others. [FSB Associates review]
Jon
Elster. Strong
Feelings: Emotion, Addiction, and Human Behavior
"Emotion
and addiction lie on a continuum between simple visceral drives such as
hunger, thirst, and sexual desire at one end and calm, rational
decision
making at the other. Although emotion and addiction involve visceral
motivation,
they are also closely linked to cognition and culture..." --Simon
Blackburn,
Times Literary Supplement / Jon Elster is a professor of Social
Science
at Columbia University.
Mark
Epstein,
M.D. Going
to Pieces Without Falling Apart: A Buddhist Perspective on Wholeness
Philip
Fisher. The
Vehement Passions
Breaking
off the ordinary flow of experience, the passions create a state of
exception.
In their suddenness and intensity, they map a personal world, fix and
qualify
our attention, and impel our actions. ... From Aristotle to Hume to
contemporary
biology, Fisher finds evidence that the passions have defined a core of
human nature no less important than reason or desire. Traversing the
Iliad,
King Lear, Moby Dick, and other great works, he discerns the properties
of the high-spirited states we call the passions. [from
amazon.com
review]
Peter
Fonagy,
et al. Affect
Regulation, Mentalization, and the Development of Self
John
Gedo The
Artist and the Emotional World: Creativity and Personality
"Articulates
the role of personality in creative pursuits, defining personality a
set
of enduring qualities that effect such behavior as a general preference
for autonomous or interdependent activity. Examines the psychology of
creativity,
the challenge and opportunity of developing a creative gift, the
struggles
of a creative life, and the fit between talent and opportunity.
Illustrates
the principles with case studies .."
Paul
Gilbert
and Bernice Andrews. Shame:
Interpersonal Behavior, Psychopathology, and Culture
Daniel
Goleman. Destructive
Emotions: A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama
Daniel
Goleman Emotional
Intelligence
"One source
of a positive or negative outlook may well be inborn
temperament...Developing
a competency of any kind strengthens the sense of self-efficacy; making
a person more willing to take risks and seek out more demanding
challenges.
And surmounting those challenges in turn increases the sense of
self-efficacy.
This attitude makes people more likely to make the best use of whatever
skills they may have -- or to do what it takes to develop them."
Daniel
Goleman Working
With Emotional Intelligence
Daniel
Goleman. Healing
Emotions: Conversations with the Dalai Lama on Mindfulness,
Emotions
and Health
Leslie
S. Greenberg. Facilitating
Emotional Change
Miriam
Greenspan. Healing
Through the Dark Emotions: The Other Side of Grief, Fear, and
Despair
James J.
Gross. Cognition
& Emotion : Functional Accounts of Emotion
Margie
Haber. How
to Get the Part...Without Falling Apart!
Thich
Nhat Hanh. Peace
Is Every Step : The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life
Kevin J.
Kelly,
PhD. Becoming
Your
Own Therapist - Practical Effective Strategies For Managing Your
Moods
and Behavior - a personal development workbook [pdf download] *
excerpts on page: nurturing mental
health : resources: articles/sites/books
Mira
Kirshenbaum. The
Emotional Energy Factor: The Secrets High-Energy People Use to Beat
Emotional Fatigue
Joseph
Ledoux. The
Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life
LeDoux, a
professor
at the Center for Neural Science at New York University, has written
the
most comprehensive examination to date of how systems in the brain work
in response to emotions, particularly fear. Among his fascinating
findings
is the work of amygdala structure within the brain. The amygdala
mediates
fear and other responses and actually processes information more
quickly
than other parts of the brain, allowing a rapid response that can save
our lives before other parts of the brain have had a chance to react.
He
also offers findings and theories on how the brain handles--and in many
cases, buries--extremely traumatic experiences. [Amazon.com]
Karla
McLaren. Emotional
Genius : Discovering the Deepest Language of the Soul
Mihnea
Moldoveanu
and Nitin Nohria. Master
Passions: Emotion, Narrative, and the Development of Culture
James W.
Pennebaker. Emotion,
Disclosure, & Health
[reader
review:]
"The book is divided into an introduction and three other parts:
Cognitive
Processes in Inhibiting and Disclosing; Emotions, Expressivenss and
Psychosomatics;
and Clinical and Social Dimensions of Disclosure. ... //etc//
Detailed
descriptions
of the experiments and observational studies that have been done on the
relationship between self-disclosure (expressive writing, talking,
etc.)
and one's emotional and physical health (as measured by self-report of
symptoms, visits to health clinic, cellular immune activity, etc.).
Here
is what's really behind the scenes of those superficial quotes you see
in magazines these days that say "writing about your problems may make
you healthier!"
Candace
Pert,
PhD. Molecules
of Emotion: Why You Feel the Way You Feel
[Kirkus
Reviews:] Pert.. once a chief of brain chemistry at the NIH, freely
intermingles
vibrant stories of her professional and personal life with her theories
about neuropeptides. Currently a research professor at Georgetown
Medical
Center in Washington, Pert may be best known as one of the scientists
on
Bill Moyers's PBS series Healing and the Mind. In the early 1970s, she
made a name for herself with her key role in discovering the brain's
opiate
receptors. ... Pert also explains her theory that neuropeptides and
their
receptors are the biochemicals of emotions, carrying information in a
vast
network linking the material world of molecules with the nonmaterial
world
of the psyche.
David K.
Reynolds,
PhD. A
Handbook for Constructive Living
Mary
Rocamora. The
Personal Journey Workbook: A Guide to an Extraordinary Life
Rocamora
has been counseling gifted adults for more than 24 years, plus
researching
how beliefs and patterns of thinking impact self-actualization and
creativity.
"This new self-paced workbook, based on the coursework of the Rocamora
School, is a carefully designed exploration of awareness and beliefs
using
accessible, non-dogmatic information and precisely crafted sequences of
inductive exercises... The best attitude to have or to cultivate for
this
work is one of curiosity, interest, and fascination. Set aside labels
('neurotic',
'co-dependent', 'inadequate', etc.), judgments, theories, archetypes,
beliefs
and meditation practices. The Personal Journey is to be explored with a
fresh mind that is completely present, to seek a precise description of
your own inner -- and unique -- experience."
[from
school site]
Norman
Rosenthal,
MD. The
Emotional Revolution: How the New Science of Feelings can Transform
Your Life
"Norman
Rosenthal is a psychiatrist with a special talent for turning research
evidence into practical advice. Here he uses his encyclopedic knowledge
of the new science of the emotions to suggest solutions for a variety
of
common problems that bedevil intimate relationships and our inner
lives."
- Peter D. Kramer, M.D, Bestselling author of Listening
to Prozac and Spectacular
Happiness
"In
addition to being one of our nation's more respected psychiatrists, Dr.
Norman Rosenthal has a wonderful ability to translate complex
scientific
information into language that is clear, concise, and practical. The
Emotional
Revolution will truly revolutionize our understanding of why and how we
think and feel as we do... a must read... especially for anyone
interested
in learning, step-by-step, how to use the science of emotions to
enhance
their personal well-being."
- Jerilyn Ross, Director of the Anxiety Disorders Association of
America
and author of Triumph
Over Fear
Sandra
Walker
Russ. Affect,
Creative Experience, and Psychological Adjustment
We
know a good deal about what creativity is-especially about the
cognitive
components. We are just beginning to learn about the affective
components
of the creative process. Although psychoanalytic theory has discussed
the
importance of affect in creativity, the field has just begun to
empirically
investigate the specific affective processes and mechanisms involved in
creativity and to search for a comprehensive theoretical understanding.
The major questions addressed in this book are: (a) Is affect an
important
part of the creative process? and (b) If so, how is affect involved in
creative thinking? We learn about the role of affect in creativity from
three major sources. First, descriptions of the creative process by
creative
individuals can give clues as to how affect comes into the picture.
Second,
research on cognitive-affective processes and affect in cognition is
beginning
to shed some light on how these processes interact. Personality trait
research
and creativity is an important related area, as is research on
children's
play. Third, theoretical frameworks that integrate and encompass
observations
and empirical findings suggest future studies that move the field
ahead.
[from Introduction]
Peter
Salovey,
David J. Sluyter. Emotional
Development and Emotional Intelligence: Educational Implications
Ingram: An
authoritative study that describes the scientific basis for our
knowledge
about emotion as it relates specifically to children. Key topics
include
historical perspectives on emotional intelligence, neurological bases
for
emotional development, the development of social skills and childhood
socialization
of emotion, and more. Ideal for professionals in child psychology and
education.
Allan N.
Schore. Affect
Regulation and the Origin of the Self: The Neurobiology of
Emotional
Development
Schore's..
model explicates in exemplary detail the precise mechanisms by which
the
infant brain might internalize and structuralize the affect-regulating
functions of the mother, in circumscribed neural tissues, at
specifiable
points in epigenetic history.. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic
Association
Eve
Kosofsky
Sedgwick, Adam Frank. Touching
Feeling: Affect, Pedagogy, Performativity
In
prose sometimes somber, often high-spirited, and always accessible and
moving, Touching Feeling interrogates—through virtuoso readings of
works
by Henry James, J. L. Austin, Judith Butler, the psychologist Silvan
Tomkins
and others—emotion in many forms. What links the work of teaching to
the
experience of illness? How can shame become an engine for queer
politics,
performance, and pleasure? Is sexuality more like an affect or a drive?
Is paranoia the only realistic epistemology for modern intellectuals?
[Amazon.com]
Melvin
Shaw. Creativity
and Affect
Rachel
Simmons. Odd
Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls
Jefferson
A.
Singer, Peter Salovey. The
Remembered Self: Emotion and Memory in Personality
Robert
C. Solomon. The
Passions
Scott E.
Spradlin,
Cynthia Sanderson. Don't
Let Your Emotions Run Your Life: How Dialectical Behavior Therapy
Can
Put You in Control
"When we
are
regularly undone by our emotions, we become victims of damaged
relationships,
trapped circumstances, self-sabotage, and illness. In this breakthrough
new workbook, a psychologist who has had amazing results treating
patients
with emotional problems, helps all of us gain the upper hand on our
feelings
and our lives. Many of us know the helpless predicament of losing
control
of our emotions. We may not be clinically crazy but instead high
reactors,
experiencing overpowering feelings that knock us off balance, plunge us
into depression, make us fly off the handle, or terrify us without
warning.
We can anticipate, understand, avoid and replace these high reactions
by
applying the methods of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). DBT is an
eclectic
mix of cognitive-behavioral techniques, skills training, Zen, and
existentialism..
// author website http://www.ksdbt.com
Carol
Tavris. Anger
: The Misunderstood Emotion
[excerpt:]
It is instructive, if also comical, that two popular embodiments of
anger
in America are antithetical types -- Superman and the Incredible Hulk.
Clark Kent never really gets angry at injustice, merely impatient: "Oh,
gosh, I'd better save the city again." Then he chooses to jump into his
flying suit and charge off to right wrong. When David Banner gets
angry,
he becomes, uncontrollably, a giant green id, a bilious beast. He is
not
a man at all, super or otherwise. These incarnations of anger represent
dual attitudes: is anger handsome or ugly, righteous or dangerous? Is
it
under our control, or do we have as much chance of telling it what to
do
as of regulating the carotid artery?
Silvan
S. Tomkins. Exploring
Affect : The Selected Writings of Silvan S Tomkins
Susan C.
Vaughan,
MD. Half
Empty, Half Full: Understanding the Psychological Roots of Optimism
"Columbia
University
research scientist and psychoanalyst Susan Vaughan argues that our
fundamental
view of life as half empty or half full is determined by our capacity
for
emotional self-modulation. Based on her years of experience as a
therapist
and researcher, Dr. Vaughan shows how a sense of control over feelings
like anger, anxiety, sadness, and even elation promotes optimism and
well
being."
Peter C.
Whybrow A
Mood Apart : The Thinker's Guide to Emotion and Its Disorders
[Kirkus
Reviews:]
"The most thorough and wide-ranging discussion for lay readers about
the
interplay of the physical and emotional elements of depression and
manic-depression."
Connie
Zweig,
Steve Wolf. Romancing
the Shadow: Illuminating the Dark Side of the Soul
"Beneath
the
social mask we wear every day, we have a hidden shadow side: an
impulsive,
wounded, sad, or isolated part that we generally try to ignore, but
which
can erupt in hurtful ways. As therapists Connie Zweig and Steve Wolf
show
in this landmark book, the shadow can actually be a source of emotional
richness and vitality, and acknowledging it can be a pathway to healing
and an authentic life."
Gary
Zukav,
Linda Francis. The
Heart of the Soul : Emotional Awareness "Although developing
emotional
awareness is challenging and difficult because it requires becoming
aware
of our buried emotional pain, it is also enormously rewarding. The
[book]
shows us how to free ourselves from our compulsions, fixations,
obsessions,
and addictions -- such as anger, workaholism, perfectionism, obsessive
eating, alcohol and drug abuse, and sexual addiction -- that prevent us
from living a fulfilling and meaningful life. It also provides the
reader
with the necessary tools to replace the desire to avoid painful
emotions
with the desire to explore every aspect of consciousness, and to
cultivate
the parts of ourselves that contribute the most to Life. [Amazon.com
review]
~ ~ ~
*books:
nurturing mental health**...emotional
intelligence resources........
~
~
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*articles:** 
**books:
....