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emotion : page 2.......... .Talent Development Resources..home page...site map

 
 
The shadow side of the drive and resilience it takes to continue in the creative writing profession is the envy that one feels at the success of others. Envy can paralyze but it can also serve to motivate.

Friedman called envy "the writer's disease."  She said "It's desire that causes envy. Isn't desire the villain here?" Yet how to be an artist without desire. 

She said that writers project that other writers are happy, successful, famous, and admired, and in so doing they give part of themselves away to the power of the extrinsic. How much praise and adulation is enough?

**from My Teeming Brain: Understanding Creative Writers by Jane Piirto
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Emotions can be seen as a signal from our body that we can learn to understand and even benefit from. Research has shown that emotions result from two main factors: 1) thought processes and 2) biological changes resulting from those thoughts, or occurring independently of our thoughts.  ...

Here are some of the features of emotions:
- Emotions are usually experienced as a physical sensation.
- Emotions can usually be expressed with one word, e.g., angry, sad, afraid.
- Emotions.. just exist. To change emotions we have to change our biology (as with exercise or a medication). 

We can also change our emotions by thinking differently. ... 

To do this, we must first learn how to identify what we think. Thoughts are basically representations of our internal and external experience. They may occur in the form of words, as when we silently talk to ourselves, or they may be visual images. 

They may even be memories of physical sensations. We can have thoughts intentionally or unintentionally.

clinical psychologist Kevin J. Kelly, PhD - from his workbook: Becoming Your Own Therapist
Practical Effective Strategies For Managing Your Moods and Behavior

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..Don't treat your emotions as facts.

On a cold day in February five years ago, I lay on my bed, sobbing, convinced I would never publish my self-help book, reach my readers, or find my way out of an ill-suited temp job that I hated. 

I soggily asked my husband if I should just chuck it all, and go back to work doing this very thing I hated fulltime. Fortunately for me, he told me to stop being hysterical and keep plugging away on my dream.

Five years later, I really am living my dream full time, simply because I didn't treat my momentary upset as factual proof that my dream was kaput. Remember - emotions are emotions; only facts are facts.

Reprinted with permission from Suzanne Falter-Barns' free ezine, The Joy Letter (Copyright, 2003) To subscribe, go to howmuchjoy.com/joyletter.html

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Suzanne Falter-Barns is author of book: 
How Much Joy Can You Stand
A Creative Guide to Facing Your Fears and Making Your Dreams Come True
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founder of coaching resources site: HowMuchJoy.com
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Rose Window from Our Lady of Lourdes 
in Arlington, VA. 

photo from stainedglass.org

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The quaternity is a phrase coined by Carl Jung to describe a model of the self based on the four elements of earth, air, water, and fire. Jung popularized the idea, but it actually appears throughout history and in many cultures of the world.

Quaternary beliefs see the whole self as made up of four distinct parts  the earthy body, the airy intellect, the watery emotions, and the fiery spirit. 

The idea is that we should spend equal time developing skills from each of the four quadrants especially if we're naturally gifted in only one or two areas. ...

Well, let's say that you're the parent of an intellectual genius. From a quaternary perspective, you would encourage her to develop not just her mental gifts, but her physical prowess, her emotional agility, and her spiritual awareness. 

Otherwise, she may grow up very unbalanced. And unfortunately, this happens all the time with intellectually gifted
children. ...

If you're going to delve into the turbulent waters of the emotions, you need to be strong in all four quadrants.

Karla McLaren- from interview by Sounds True www.soundstrue.com

site: Emovere.com  "Emovere is the Latin root for the word emotion. It means to move outward or onward.'"

....Emotional Genius : Discovering the Deepest Language 
of the Soul - by Karla McLaren

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Sometimes we find the right words and phrases to describe our feelings. But sometimes we don't. What causes us to be at a loss for words when trying to express our feelings?

I believe there are several reasons: We don't know how we feel. We have mixed feelings and can't sort them out. 

We know how we feel but are afraid to voice it. We have emotions, but no "feelings" vocabulary to express them. ...

To express emotions, we have to feel them first. But how do we find out how we feel? And after we've felt our emotions, how can we EXPRESS instead of suppress or repress them? 

One answer is: through the expressive arts... the use of art, music, dance, drama, or writing as a means for revealing and expressive one's inner life of emotions, dreams, and desires.


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In expressive arts there is absolutely NO expectation to make art for the sake of art. ... it's for the Person's sake.  ... 

In order for feelings to speak, the process must be safe and free of judgment and outside standards of aesthetics, technique, or style. This is soul art.

....excerpt from book: Living With Feeling: The Art of 
Emotional Expression - by Lucia Capacchione


 
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Fred Tate is a person who is fighting the two sides of his personality: the emotional and intellectual... And if he had to choose between the two, he'd die. This is very true to me, I think. 

My whole life has been about trying to heal the rift between the two sides of my personality, the feeling too much and the knowing too much.

Jodie Foster- about her film Little Man Tate [dvd]

quote and photo from book: Great Women of Film

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The thing I love most about acting is that while I am doing a scene, I am allotted all of the freedom to feel. Sometimes, actually I find that most times in life, one is not able to fully express what one feels.

And I am the kind of person that feels so much that if I didn't have acting (and music), I would burst from all of the emotion inside!......Gloria Reuben......photo and quote from gloriareuben.com

*related page: intensity / sensitivity

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[Would you say that your head or your emotions lead you when you're creating a role?]

It's a combination. I use my analytical side to do the research and reading, but the bulk of the work is kind of nonverbal and feeling-ish. But you can't take the head away; it's on your shoulders. 

I think it's about finding the right control -- you cannot let the head put the brakes on too much of the runaway horses of the emotional instrument, but you also can't let them go out of control or become self-indulgent because they're at the service of the scene. It's like playing a child's game of hot or cold.

Mira Sorvino***[Interview mag. Oct 2002]

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Daniel Goleman, a journalist and author of the 1995 bestselling book "Emotional Intelligence," describes this quality as a type of sixth sense -- one distinct from educational achievement or book smarts that allows people to skillfully manage their emotions and perceive those of others ... [and] predict success, better than IQ.. ///

But some social scientists and psychologists are skeptical of the claims being made about the theory, including the two researchers who coined the term "emotional intelligence" in 1990.

"We have not made claims about this being a powerful predictor of success, and think it's unlikely that they're true," said John Mayer, a University of New Hampshire psychologist who, with Peter Salovey of Yale University, continues to research the concept.

"I think many in the field feel that the whole concept of emotional intelligence has been over-hyped," said Gerald Matthews, a psychologist at the University of Cincinnati and coauthor of "Emotional Intelligence: Science and Myth" (MIT 2002) [cover image at left]. 

"It's quite amazing how this kind of movement can take off without any good empirical data to support it." ///

But the broadness of this definition of emotional intelligence provides another target for critics. 

"It seems to include so many disparate things it's hard to know what we're measuring, except maybe a kind of introspection," said Edwin Locke, a psychologist who studies business at the University of Maryland [book: The Prime Movers]. 

"Good businessmen and women are not known primarily for their introspection; they're very externally focused, and in complex businesses they have to have real, rational intelligence. And that seems to be the one thing that's not included" in the definition.

from article Sizing up emotions - The value of emotional intelligence tests, widely used by employers, is being questioned. By Benedict Carey, LA Times March 15, 2004

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Self-actualizing people are aware of their own feelings, do not try to repress them, often act upon them, and even when they do not act upon them are able to admit them to awareness. ...

They "know themselves" but also know how little they know about themselves.

psychologist Albert Ellis   //  books
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Feelings, whether of compassion or irritation, should be welcomed, recognized, and treated on an absolutely equal basis; because both are ourselves. 

The tangerine I am eating is me. The mustard greens I am planting are me. I plant with all my heart and mind. I clean this teapot with the kind of attention I would have were I giving the baby Buddha or Jesus a bath.

Nothing should be treated more carefully than anything else. In mindfulness, compassion, irritation, mustard green plant, and teapot are all sacred.

....Thich Nhat Hanh, The Miracle of Mindfulness

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The fast food mentality creeps into our emotional lives, where we are not willing to just sit for very long with our feelings, especially uncomfortable ones. 

writer-director Brad Silberling - in an interview about his film Moonlight Mile, based on the 1989 murder of Silberling's then-girlfriend, actress Rebecca Schaeffer -- a film which "seeks to reveal the sense of utter befuddlement people experience after a great loss." [LA Times, Sept 22, 2002]

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What we offer in this book is a way of thinking about a basic human need - a need for affection, for the kind of love we call "cherishment," a love that goes heart to heart, telepathically. We offer a way of thinking about how the need for cherishing affection appears first in the relation between a preverbal infant and the infant's caretakers and then, from this beginning, in all other human relations. 

We read the translation of Takeo Doi's best-selling book, The Anatomy of Dependence, and it set us wondering about why, as Doi noted, there is no word in English for amae, or for the verb amaeru, which means "to presume upon someone's sweet and indulgent love."

"Dependency," which has such negative connotations, certainly does not capture the great value attached to amae in the Japanese language and culture. ... Cherishing seemed to us to be very much about nourishing growth and creativity.
 

from Chapter One of Cherishment: A Psychology of the Heart by Elisabeth Young-Bruehl, PhD and Faith Bethelard, PsyD

quotes from their site: cherishment.com

Elisabeth Young-Bruehl

Faith Bethelard

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Feelings are an important part of human life. Some feelings we like (for example, confidence and love and happiness and satisfaction), and some feelings we don't like (such as loneliness and depression and fear and timidity). It isn't surprising that some people try to generate some feelings and eliminate others. 

The problem with that effort is that feelings cannot be turned on and off at will. ... Feelings are natural aspects of the situations in which we find ourselves. They are natural and uncontrollable, like the weather. So the best way to handle feelings is to acknowledge them, accept them, learn from them, and to go on about doing what needs to be done.

from Constructive Living site - founded by David K. Reynolds, PhD  / 

....A Handbook for Constructive Living

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Usually when I hear people talk about "finding their passion," it's in the context of discovering work that will give them a sense of purpose and direction. But as I see it, pursuing your passion can bring you much more than you might expect. Passion is a rich, soulful emotion. Whether it makes you feel angry, excited, inspired, or brought to tears, passion is something that moves you in a very powerful way. 

Passion is an internal experience not an external event. Finding your passion means connecting your head with your heart; engaging that part of yourself that "feels" in a big, bold, spiritual way. For many of us, this is a challenge. Our busy, chaotic lives, disconnect us from our feelings. 

And, when we act from this "numbed out" place, it's impossible to connect with our passions. For most people, the road to connecting with passion begins with practicing good self care. This means slowing down, spending time with yourself, taking good care of your body and mind, nurturing your spirit, and engaging in activities that will move you out of your head and into your body. Once you become passionate about your self care, you'll know you're on the right track. 

<< from Cheryl Richardson newsletter: Week 29 Find Your Passion - from CherylRichardson.com

*books:
*Finding Your Passion (Audio)****Stand Up for Your Life : Develop the Courage, Confidence and Character to Fulfill Your Greatest Potential 

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Talented young girls may experience some of these overexcitabilities and often, in Reis' experience, have expanded awareness in the sensual, imaginational, and emotional areas. 

Too strict a behavior code may directly conflict with their emotional nature and could be difficult for parents to enforce and for children to obey.

from article: Internal barriers, personal issues, and decisions faced by gifted and talented females by Sally Reis

*related page:**intensity / sensitivity

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There are two sides to Stanislavsky: one is all about physical action and objective and the other is about the emotional life of the character. The part that I think does not work and never has worked is all the emotional stuff, because everybody knows that you cannot control your emotions. 

If we could control our emotions, there would be no need for therapy, so any technique based on controlling emotions is just plain false. Artists want to tap into their emotions because that is where the truth lies. The emotions lie within the subconscious, therefore a technique should allow our subconscious to come forth unhindered and unpremeditated. 

***William H. Macy

*from book:**On Acting by Mary Luckhurst, Chloe Veltman - Twenty performers consider how an actor creates a character on stage... the origins and uses of a wide range of physical and psychological approaches to acting.

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Your soul has to be accessible to act. My feeling is that that's true of acting, and I think it should be true of life, of what we do in the life we lead. Often in our culture, we're rewarded for the opposite of that. But I think to be a great actor or a great musician or a great teacher or an enlightened CEO, you'd be best served by having your soul accessible. 

I think the world would be improved if people had access to their emotions more, and didn't just fulfill the outward routines of the job description. But in my job, I have to do that, all the time. That's, I guess, why I'm an actor. That's the main thing that's called for. If the main thing in my job were to shut up and do as you're told, it would be a lot harder for me! So, it's great that I'm in the line of work I am [in]. Because I'm supposed to lose control. And it can be useful, even healthy, to. 

Meryl Streep***[DoubleTake Magazine interview about making the film Music of the Heart [dvd]

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Next there are the "Character Analyses," which are values, intellect, physical being, social, etc. then there's "opening Beat" and "Transitions." And something I call "Core and Masking." Actors are always going on about their feelings: "If I'm not in pain, I'm not acting. I have to feel." 

Enough already with the feeling. I'm so sick of it. We don't walk around showing all of our feelings all of the time. If we did, we'd be put in a mental hospital. You've got to cover it. Only once in a while am I interested in seeing the pain and sadness.

from article: Margie Haber: Tips of the trade / Audition Angst [posted on her site - Reprinted from Backstage West]

*book:**Margie Haber. How to Get the Part...Without Falling Apart!

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Because anxiety enhances visual and spatial performance, subjects who viewed a clip from the horror film 'Halloween' scored 25 percent better on tests of face recognition than did subjects who watched comedies. Viewing comedies, however, led to a 25 percent improvement in verbal performance. [results from a study at Washington University, St. Louis]

Even though emotion enhances certain types of learning, Richard Restak subscribes to the precept of "mental hygiene," or keeping one's emotions in check. "Don't pay too much attention to your feelings," he advises. "If I only wrote when I feel like it, I'd have two books written." Restak has in fact penned 13.  [Psychology Today, June 2002]

book:**Richard Restak, MD. Mozart's Brain and the Fighter Pilot : Unleashing Your Brain's Potential 

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article: Psychological 'volume control' dampens or elevates effect of sensory stimuli
by Deborah Gilbert [Univ. of Michigan]

Roughly one out of four of us may choose to feel bad rather than feel nothing at all, according to
preliminary research at the University.

Such a choice may depend in part on an inherent regulator in the brain called a "stimulus intensity
modulation mechanism," according to Randy J. Larsen, associate professor of psychology.

"The mechanism functions as a psychological ëvolume controlíóa regulator that dampens or elevates
the effect of sensory stimuli," Larsen says.

In most of us, the regulator is set at an optimum mid- range, which keeps us from being either
overstimulated or understimulated.

"But in the 1970s, researchers discovered that some individuals have regulators set at one extreme.
Among people we call 'reducers,' the regulator seems to buffer the brain, reducing the effect of stimuli.
Since they often feel stimulation-deprived, many reducers compensate by throwing themselves into high-risk
activities or novel situations like mountain climbing, simply in order to feel alive," Larsen explains.
 

*related book:**Personality Psychology: Domains of Knowledge About Human Nature by Randy J. Larsen, David M. Buss
 
 

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Success, I think, breeds fear. You suddenly say, "Oh, can I do it again?" And once you start to ask questions like that, you throw your creativity into the wrong sphere. So you just have to walk away from it.

Nicole Kidman ...[Interview mag., Feb. 2002] - from article: On Fear by Douglas Eby

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When I went to London to become an actor, I was out of work for a year and it was very difficult... After six mounts I began to despair. And I began to think that I would never, ever get that work. ... 

Then one day, I walk through a door and I got two jobs, two movies on the same day, because I had changed my attitude, I no longer was in awe of the audition process or in fear of it... I had learned a very valuable thing: to separate myself from my work. So that if my work was attacked, it didn't necessarily mean I was not a good person. 

I also stopped depending on my work to make me happy or sad. I tried to work on myself outside my work to try and make myself a rounded and interesting kind of human being. Gabriel Byrne

from article: Margie Haber: Tips of the trade / Audition Angst   [posted on her site - Reprinted from Backstage West]

*book:**Margie Haber. How to Get the Part...Without Falling Apart!

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I've got this very articulate image of myself -- and I think that's especially to do with Cambridge and with learning how to speak and how to really express myself. One of the major differences between me and Carrington is that I use words all the time to color everything. And Carrington was a visual creature. For her it was a wave of feeling --nothing to do with words.

I think I have always been beguiled by people who can use words, which is very confusing, because people who can use words don't necessarily know how to live life. [laughs]

In fact, people who use words best use words to keep life at bay. It's a great temptation, and it's something I probably suffer from, because I want to explain all the time and I want to analyze all the time instead of saying, "Yeah, but what do I need? Where are my feelings?"

Emma Thompson[The Advocate, September 19, 1995]
dvd: Carrington- "Life among the Bloomsbury group in post-Victorian England, as seen through the relationship between writer Lytton Strachey (Jonathan Pryce) and painter Dora Carrington (Emma Thompson)."

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"I think in this business you're living for the future not the present. Even now, after all I lost,
I still phrase things around, 'When I'm famous... When I get that, I'll do this...' We all do. It's not
that I don't still want it. ... I think a lot of people who are successful don't always feel successful."

Actress Ruth de Sosa - from article Hollywood Balancing Act

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I understand now that the vulnerability I've always felt is the greatest strength a person can have. You can't experience life without feeling life. What I've learned is that being vulnerable to somebody you love is not a weakness, it's a strength.

Sadness, joy, wonder - all feelings - come from a place of grounded strength that comes from trust in yourself.

We spend so much time trying to control our feelings out of fear that something may happen, that somebody may not love us, or walk away or die. It's only when you stop living in that fear of what other people might do to you or how they will react - only then are you free to be alive.

   Elisabeth Shue    [Parade, November 23, 1997] [posted on elisabeth-shue.com]

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Despite these social constraints, passions overwhelm reason time and again. This given of human nature
arises from the basic architecture of mental life. In terms of biological design for the basic neural circuitry
of emotion, what we are born with is what worked best for the last 50,000 human generations, not the last
500 generations -- and certainly not the last five.

The slow, deliberate forces of evolution that have shaped our emotions have done their work over the course
of a million years; the last 10,000 years... have left little imprint on our biological templates for emotional life.

from Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
 

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"Snap out of it. There's a name for this - it's called guilt, and it's important - but it's only a feeling." 

Willow [played by Alyson Hannigan] to Buffy in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" [the series], written and produced by Joss Whedon

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I'm happy sometimes, I'm turbulent sometimes. Whatever's going on is what I try to accept in myself. I think if we all acted the way we really felt, four out of eight people at a dinner table would be sitting there sobbing.

  Jim Carrey**[Premiere mag., Dec. 2001]      photo from book: Timothy White: Portraits

 

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Our feelings play a very important part in directing all of our thoughts and actions. In us, there is a river of feelings, in which every drop of water is a different feeling, and each feeling relies on all the others for its existence. 

To observe it, we just sit on the bank of the river and identify each feeling as it surfaces, flows by, and disappears. Calling a feeling by its name, such as "anger," "sorrow," "joy," or "happiness," helps us identify it clearly and recognize it more deeply. ... 

Our attitude of not clinging to or rejecting our feelingsis the attitude of letting go, an important part of meditation practice. If we face our unpleasant feelings with care, affection, and nonviolence, we can transform them into the kind of energy that is healthy and has the capacity to nourish us.

***Thich Nhat Hanh. Peace Is Every Step : The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

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A Handbook for Constructive Living by David K. Reynolds, PhD

Some feelings we like (for example, confidence and love and happiness and satisfaction), and some feelings we don't like (such as loneliness and depression and fear and timidity). It isn't surprising that some people try to generate some feelings and eliminate others. The problem with that effort is that feelings cannot be turned on and off at will. ... 

Feelings are natural aspects of the situations in which we find ourselves. They are natural and uncontrollable, like the weather. So the best way to handle feelings is to acknowledge them, accept them, learn from them, and to go on about doing what needs to be done.

from Constructive Living site - founded by David K. Reynolds

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more:.....emotion:: page 1........passion.............

...emotion: resources : exercises articles books sites.......emotional intelligence resources : books articles sites.

*related pages:***.anger****anxiety***depression............On Fear..........intensity / sensitivity.

mental health*****<< nurturing mental health
 

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