Talent Development Resources ...........emotional intelligence


 
 
 
Says Scientific American, "More complex tasks require more mental manipulation, and this manipulation of information - discerning similarities and inconsistencies, drawing inferences, grasping new concepts and so on - constitutes intelligence in action. 

"Indeed, intelligence can best be described as the ability to deal with cognitive complexity." ...

"Cognitive" is our keyword here. Yes, the world is cognitively complex. 

However, it is perhaps infinitely more emotionally complex.


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Emotional Intelligence consists of a wide range of capacities which enable people to excel, such as intentionality, creativity, resilience, self-awareness, impulse control, persistence, and empathy. 

Four areas of mastery are (1) Identifying emotions, (2) Using emotions, (3) Understanding emotions, and (4) Regulating emotions.

Susan Dunn, MA - from her newsletter - 
see her ebooks on emotional intelligence resources


 
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We humans pride ourselves as being the "thinking" beings on this planet. 

In reality, even for us, everything starts as a feeling. I firmly believe that emotions, more than thoughts, motivate our actions. 

Thoughts cause us to have different feelings, but it is that feeling that actually results in the way we behave. As I stated, we like to claim that we are intellectual beings, while in truth, we are primarily creatures of emotion and feelings.

For example, if it weren't for the existence of positive feelings accompanying a goal, most people would not pursue activities involving delayed gratification, such as getting an advanced educational degree or getting married. 

Motivation in life is simply a matter of moving TOWARD a feeling or AWAY from a feeling. 

All behavior is basically the result of "payoffs" (a feeling or state that usually makes you feel better than you did) which result from a certain action or behavior.

> from book Take Control Now - by Marc F. Kern, PhD

> his sites : Addiction Alternatives  /  habitdoc

> photo : John Corbett, Nia Vardalos in 
"My Big Fat Greek Wedding"


 
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Fran bristles when you ask if a task is near completion. David sabotages research assignments when you criticize his work. John snaps when he thinks youíve delegated too many client responsibilities to him.

Sound familiar? Many law offices have legal clerks, paralegals and associates who express discontent in negative ways. Your challenge is to marshal the management skills your firm needs to turn around these individuals without alienating them.

You've become a successful lawyer because of your cognitive intelligence, technical competence and analytical skills. 

But you're starting to get a funny feeling those traditional bulwarks of success wonít work with these troubled individuals. 

Worse yet, youíre starting to feel angry toward others in your law firm. You're sometimes tempted to just yell at them.

Well, here's some good news. You already have made a great start toward resolving these knotty staff management problems, because you recognize how you feel. 

Thatís the first step toward achieving a new set of skills that business psychologists say are required to deal with today's most common staff management problems.

Taken as a group, the new skills comprise "emotional intelligence." It's the ability to recognize your emotions and those of the people around you, and the competence to work with those emotions to resolve staff problems.

"A new competitive reality is putting emotional intelligence at a premium," says Dr. Daniel Goleman, author of.. the best-seller that got people buzzing about the topic.

Ignore this new intelligence at your own risk. "There is a cost to the bottom line from low levels of emotional intelligence on the job," Goleman warns. 

"When it is rampant, companies crash and burn." He says success in the professions is 20-percent dependent on intellectual ability and 80-percent dependent on emotional intelligence. ///

What to do? ... Dr. Toni Bernay, a clinical psychologist and executive coach in Beverly Hills, CA... suggests the classic two-step approach of emotional intelligence:

First, become aware of your own emotions. In this case, there is likely a combination of emotions: 1) anger born of frustration and 2) fear that a critical task will not be completed and you will look ineffective to your peers.

Second, develop an action plan to resolve those troubling emotions. ....

from article Turn on the EMO: Your Practice Functions 
Better With Emotional Intelligence - 
By Phillip M. Perry 
[ABA Law Practice Management Magazine]


 
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When Donald Trump fired Ereka Vetrini ... he cited her inability to control her emotions. 

During that episode of "The Apprentice" -- a series in which Mr. Trump fires one contestant per show -- Ms. Vetrini appeared overwhelmed as she tried to tally receipts from the Trump-branded bottled water her team had to sell.

For her own part, the 27-year-old Ms. Vetrini says she was more "annoyed" by her team's weak performance than anything else and notes that the way the episode was edited made her look more frazzled than she really was. 

"I can be extremely strong and get my message across," says Ms. Vetrini... ///

Of all the skills that distinguish leaders who reach the highest levels of corporations, the one that stands out is the ability to keep calm under pressure, says Dr. Goleman, who in his book "Primal Leadership" looks at how emotional intelligence affects leadership. 

The best leaders, he holds, are people who are comfortable with emotion.

Dr. Goleman says anyone can learn to increase his or her emotional intelligence at any point. The quickest and most effective way, he says, is to get honest feedback from people around you and to develop a profile of your perceived strengths and weaknesses.

This strategy helped Peter Benton, 39, develop his leadership abilities and get assessments of his emotional intelligence. 

Working with a coach, he got his boss, several peers and a number of employees who reported to him to provide feedback. Although Mr. Benton recently left Johnson & Johnson, where he was a vice president, as a result of a restructuring, he says the coaching helped him develop a number of skills at his previous post, including maintaining calm under pressure.

He knew he was on the right track, he says, when a subordinate came up to him one day and said, "I don't know what you're doing differently lately, but you're acting like a different person, and I feel we're more of a team."

from article 
How Emotional Intelligence Could Affect Your Career
By Kris Maher [Wall Street Journal]

Ereka Vetrini graduated with honors from Boston College in 1998, is part of the cast of the new The Tony Danza Show - premiere Monday, September 13, 2004 [realitytvworld.com]


 
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Emotional intelligence accounts for 
more success and happiness in life 
than intellectual intelligence.

Bill was brilliant in his field and the best IT person in the office as to technical skills, but his people skills were very low. 

He was abrasive, arrogant, short-tempered, and a perfectionist. Other people didn't like to work with him, and he was unable to explain things in terms other people could understand. 

Mary, who was also in the IT department, had good technical skills and a good education, though it was less than Bill's. However, her emotional intelligence more than made up for this.

She was able to handle herself and other people well and to explain things calmly and clearly.

People loved to work with her and requested her by name. She received promotion after promotion because of her technical expertise and her high emotional intelligence.

Many people with very high IQs (cognitive intelligence) do poorly in work and relationships because they have low EQs (emotional intelligence). 

They sabotage themselves because they can't manage their own emotions or those of other people, and they sabotage projects because they may have all the logical, rational and analytical "answers," but they don't have the "soft" skills to move a project forward.

from article : 
Emotional Intelligence v. Cognitive Intelligence
- by Susan Dunn

> see her ebooks on page :
emotional intelligence resources


 
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The fight or flight response is the body's inborn, self-protective response to perceived danger. 

When we perceive that we are under stress, our bodies send out a rush of cortisol, adrenaline, and other brain chemicals to prepare us to "fight" or "flee" the danger.

The fight or flight response triggers the physiological changes that we associate with anxiety, such as rapid heartbeat, increased blood pressure, sweating, muscle tension, narrowed mental focus, heightened emotion, and much more.

These are the same physical sensations that many women experience when their hormone levels fluctuate.

In other words, most of the symptoms women experience during times of hormonal change are really fight or flight reactions.

While harmless, these physical sensations can be intense and overwhelming.

Because of various hormonal changes in our bodies that take place from puberty to menopause, plus the fact that many of us are in a constant state of stress due to our lifestyle and thought patterns, our fight or flight response mechanism can become "hypersensitive."

from article : Female Hormonal Changes and Anxiety
by Deanne Repich

Director of  ConquerAnxiety


 
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This particular study has brought home to me that HSPs [Highly Sensitive Persons] are in fact "more emotional" than others. 

Humans have to evaluate every situation for whether it is good, interesting, desirable, dangerous, sad, and so forth. 

If a situation has even a touch of these, it is processed further. 

This processing can lead to more emotion still. Hence emotion leads to processing and processing often leads to more emotion. 

Since HSPs process everything further, they have to be more emotional -- emotion is initiating their processing and is often a consequence of their doing so much processing.


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By the way, being more emotional does not cause poor decision making. Most of the time emotions improve decisions -- we can better appreciate the importance of something and are more likely to act.

from article : Reflections on Research: HSPs Have 
Stronger Emotional Reactions (I know, "Big news.") - 
by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. - 
on her site The Highly Sensitive Person

....The Highly Sensitive Person - by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.

image at left from book The Sensitive Self

image at right from The Sensitive Person's Survival Guide


 
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But Dr. Judith Orloff does have to admit that sometimes the message of her book "Positive Energy..." can get a little muddled.

Donald Trump showed up at her book party, she says, and she took the opportunity to ask him if positive energy plays a role in business.

"He said, 'Absolutely,'" she says, "And he went on, saying how positive energy is the single most important factor in business: 'You have to be positive... because life is a bitch.' "

It's not exactly the way she'd put it, but she laughs and says she loves it. She knows other people will, too. 

Judith Orloff, an "intuitive empath," tries to avoid new age jargon. But she believes in the importance of "subtle energy" and teaches people how to protect themselves from energy-sapping multitasking.

from interview by Debra Pickett, 
Chicago Sun-Times June 20, 2004

....Positive Energy : 10 Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress, and Fear 
into Vibrance, Strength & Love - 
by Judith Orloff , MD      [Amazon]   [Powells]


 
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Emotional intelligence (EQ), rather than being an inborn ability, is a skill that needs to be taught and facilitated in individuals who deviate significantly from the norm in their intellectual intelligence (IQ). 
It is here theorized that when children's mental ages are considerably different from those with whom they must spend the majority of their time, their opportunities for effective and rewarding social interaction are minimized. ... 

Highly intelligent individuals who are not made aware of this source of their emotional and social difficulties enter adulthood with weak self-esteem and defensive behavior designed to ward off uncomfortable and unrewarding personal interactions.

from article EQ and the IQ Connection
by Deborah L. Ruf, Ph.D.

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...emotional intelligence resources : books programs sites........
**related pages:**nurturing mental health****intensity / sensitivity : page 3 : quotes sites articles books........

..nurturing mental health : articles books......nurturing mental health sites.....

....positive psychology resources : articles / sites / books.........emotion: resources : exercises articles books sites.....

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