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Earl Nightingale once explained that there are two types of people: river people and goal people. ... 

Goal People.. write down their objectives and timetables for reaching them, and then focus on attaining them, one by one. ... 

River people.. don't like to follow such a structured route to success. They are called river people because they are happiest and most fulfilled when they are wading in a rich "river" of interest -- a subject or profession about which they are very passionate...

from article River People vs. Goal People - 
by Chuck Frey [InnovationTools]

Nice thought for the weekend - thanks Chuck. I've always thought of myself as more of a goal person - and only in the last 6-8 months have i allowed the river person in me emerge - and i am just learning to swim upstream - and so so enjoying the journey.

Yet often there is chaos and conflict - as the goal persona in me tries to stifle and frustrate the emerging river persona in me - at the same time my river persona almost disrupts the logic and rational reasoning of my goal persona.

I guess the trick is learning to balance the polarities - as with yin and yang.

I had put down some of my conflicts in this post a while ago, in the context of an emerging river persona that i'm getting addicted to.

So which is you ? River person or goal person ?

A tip - try The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron if you want to prod your river persona to emerge !

Dina Mehta -

from site Conversations with Dina / Creativity tools and concepts

image from book: The Art of the Fellowship of the Ring

Earl Nightingale books etc at: Nightingale-Conant

The Artist's Way - by Julia Cameron
<Amazon.com>  <Powells>  <Amazon.ca>  <Amazon.co.uk>


 
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I didn't discover I was an artist until I was 17... It was very hard to be an artist and a child... 
it was like having sand up your butt when you go to the beach. 

Alfre Woodard

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Actress Lily Taylor in her "heroine" t-shirt
at the 2003 Independent Spirit Awards
From the religious myths of the ancient world to the secular myths of the modern world, the stereotype of the heroine reinforces the restrictive attitudes toward women in patriarchal cultures. 

The power of this myth makes it extremely difficult for women to be seen as strong, resourceful, courageous, and real, the ingredients of true heroic stature. 

Further, it has led too many women to repress or deny any desire they might feel for heroic adventure, either because they are taught to fear reprisal or because they are kept ignorant of their powerful potential. 

In addition, the image of the heroine has a particularly toxic effect upon women of color. Although all women are bombarded with stories about "passive and pretty" heroines from their earliest childhood, these mass-marketed models are usually white.

...The Sound of a Silver Horn: Reclaiming the Heroism in Contemporary Women's Lives - by Kathleen Noble, Ph.D.

....interview: Kathleeen Noble

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Although she puts on a tough, sarcastic exterior, Claire is a very fragile, emotional person at heart. She is very good, almost to a fault (despite what she thinks of herself), and is incredibly smart. She has a way of looking right through facades and veneers, and getting down to the guts of the matter. 

She is also very artistic, a side we have been seeing a great deal more of lately. Not only did she used to write short stories, one about a girl who could use telekinesis to make peoples' heads explode, but she has recently gotten into drawing and sketching. 

Most of the time, her teachers, fellow students, and even family, do not understand her. A lot of the time she feels unwanted and unneeded. She thought a relationship with the ultra-needy and screwed-up Gabe Dimas could fill that void for her... but she ended up just being his caretaker, who he resented for just that reason. Now, she is on her own, and all the better for it.

description of Claire Fisher of "Six Feet Under" [from sixfeetunderfan.com] - played by Lauren Ambrose

*related pages:........personal qualities......self-esteem / self concept.....relationships

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You can't copy anybody and end with anything. If you copy, it means you're working without any real feeling. No two people on earth are alike, and it's got to be that way in music or it isn't music.

Billie Holiday      (1915 - 1959)  -  quotes from official site

**photo from book : Women of Our Time

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Most young girls.. do not have an understanding of self. They begin to learn who they are in high school and college, only to have their sense of self waver as they become involved in a relationship.

A sense of self is critical to the development of talent in women. Profound changes in a woman's personal life can completely alter her sense of self; an early marriage and resulting name change, for example, may erode [it]. ... 

Gifted women must create a sense of self and an understanding of their identity it they are to realize their potential.

**Sally Reis, PhD. Work Left Undone: Choices and Compromises of Talented Women


 
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Quiet Woman at Restaurant: When it was over, all I could think about was how this entire notion of oneself, what we are, is just this logical structure, a place to momentarily house all the abstractions. 

It was a time to become conscious, to give form and coherence to the mystery, and I had been a part of that. It was a gift. 

Life was raging all around me and every moment was magical. I loved all the people, dealing with all the contradictory impulses - that's what I loved the most, connecting with the people. Looking back, that's all that really mattered. 

from movie Waking Life   //  image from wakinglifeart.com

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My last name is a mouthful - it's Nigerian. I am half Nigerian. It means leader of men. 

That's a tall order but I don't mind. I think I can handle it. 

Megalyn Echikunwoke... [Danika on series "Like Family"]

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Rebecca Miller has also made a virtue out of the necessity of emerging from her father's enormous shadow. It can't be easy being the daughter of one of America's foremost playwrights, especially if you choose, as she did, to become an artist.

"I think early on I felt sad that he was always mentioned," she says. "It would just make me mad because I felt like I could never start clean. Everybody else got to be who they were. I made my peace with that quite a while ago. The choice is paralysis or anger or ignoring it. And I've chosen ignoring it. Not ignoring my father, whom I adore and who's my really close friend. I think what I did was I carved out a little niche for myself that's small, that's mine."

[from article: Looking within to see the world without - Rebecca Miller looks to chart frustration, ambition and transcendence via her stories about three women in 'Personal Velocity.' - By John Clark, LA Times Nov 24 2002]

Rebecca Miller is a painter, former actor and writer/director - she won the Sundance Grand Jury Prize 
for best dramatic film - based on her book Personal Velocity

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I've always looked at my being Latina as something that kind of set me apart from the crowd and made me different and unique. 

Jennifer Lopez    [Variety 3.5.02]

< photo from bio: Jennifer Lopez by Patricia J. Duncan  [Bilingue: Espanol E Ingles]  /  T-shirt by Vato>

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I am a proud Latina. I am a proud American. I am not exotic. I am two cultures in one fabulous, curvaceous, café-con-leche body. I own English. I dream in Spanish. 

On most days, I'm delighted to explain this marvelous heritage to the curious and clueless who ask questions like, "So Sandra, what are you?"

Other days I just repeat to myself, "I am what I am." But I want to tell you what I am, because I think once I do, you'll understand why I've written this book -- para ti, mujer! 

As a Puerto Rico-born and U.S.-raised woman, I am layers of history that speak of beaches and snowflakes, rain forests and tenements, Spanish and English, spicy food and fast food, hip-hop and congas, apple pie and flan.

I have two homes -- an America that sometimes refuses to accept me as a legitimate daughter, and a Puerto Rico that sometimes denies me when my Spanish fails me. 


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For as long as I can remember, I always yearned to belong neatly to just one of them. But greater forces were at play. 

Sandra Guzman - from Introduction to The Latina's Bible
The Nueva Latina's Guide to Love, Spirituality, Family, and La Vida


 
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Heather Matarazzo: My mom would always tell me to be myself, and I used to roll my eyes at her because what is being yourself if you don't know who you are? 

But in the past three years I've come to discover what she truly means. Not trying to change for other people and trying to make other people happy because when you try to do that you end up miserable.

**[ElleGirl interview, April 3 2002]

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I think there have been several times in my career where people have told me, "Cash in, cash in!," and I've been offered lots of movies and lots of money, but all of it scared me. 

I was worried I would lose myself.. becoming everyone else's property, I guess.

Sometimes the business can munch up people and mush them out. ... I think you need to have a private life, you need to keep it separate. Otherwise you lose yourself and then you become your persona. 

Meg Tilly  ... [Venice, Sep 1994]
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When I started playing Faith [on "Buffy.." and "Angel"], I had just graduated from high school. ... And high school was hell in a way. It was so hard.

I went to public school in Boston after having been an actress since 10 years old, so I had that element of just being different in an enviroment where any kind of difference you have makes you kind of an outcast and an automatic target. 

I really built up a tough shell... It was a bit of a facade, but at the same time, it was my reality because just to survive you kind of have to have the attitude of "Nothing hurts me; you can't get through me."

I was kind of this really hard Boston chick. That worked well for Faith and the creation of the character. ... But as the years go on, and you start recovering and repairing from high school, I became less defensive, less hard. 

My friends and I were saying to each other "Okay, we don't need to be such haters; we don't have to be so terrified. We can start evolving." 

I don't want to say I've softened up, but I've definately lost some of the anger and fear and defensive nature that I had when I was 17, 18 or 19 years old. 

It's cool with this new role [in Fox series "Heroine"] to kind of see that and be able to play that struggle. 

I'm still going to be tough, and outspoken, and I'm still not going to let anyone walk all over me, but I'm also exploring a different side to myself.

Eliza Dushku

[Femme Fatale - May/June 2003 - posted on eliza-dushku.com]

*related pages:**early life.......self-esteem / self concept

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Many of us are living out the unlived lives of our mothers, because they were not able to become 
the unique people they were born to be.  Gloria Steinem

....from book:*Wise Women: A Celebration of Their Strength, Spirit, and Grace by Joyce Tenneson

     photo from Joyce Tenneson site

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When I was 9 or 10, I felt strong and free, but then the female role came down upon me. The feminine role tries to make us into fractional people, because to be feminine is only part of being human. Sometimes we don't get out of that role until we're 50.

........Gloria Steinem  .. [O - The Oprah Mag., Mar.2001]..........Revolution From Within

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A note to young or not yet formed succulent wild women:  Stand firm and whole as a woman. You are precious and irreplaceable.  Treasure your female self. Choose innocence. Invent ways to feel more free.  Investigate your darknesses. Invest in Succulence. 

    Sark - author of Succulent Wild Woman

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>  photo from book:

Ophelia Speaks: Adolescent Girls Write About Their Search for Self -

by Sara Shandler

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I think society has created its own image of what is the perfect girl -- like there's a certain body
that's the right thing for girls to look like. Somehow young girls are brought up to believe that.

I'm reading the book Reviving Ophelia about this woman who wrote all these facts down about how
from a young age girls are really open about their ideas and opinions then once they reach adolescence,
suddenly it changes.

It's a good book for girls to read about opening up their eyes. It says it's OK to be confident and
have opinions and to go out there and be something like a firefighter. As a girl, it's really important
to remind yourself of that.******Christina Aguilera [drdrew.com interview]

*related page:***body image

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It would be so awful to live my life outside myself - to be motivated by how others perceive me.
I try not to worry about it. You'll always have people hating or loving what you do, so I think you should
just do what makes you feel authentic. ...

I've tried to make sure that my focus is on songwriting and touring, to emulate people like Neil Young
or Bob Dylan or Bruce Springsteen."

   Jewel****[Interview mag. Oct.00]

*book: Jewel Kilcher. Chasing Down the Dawn
 

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I basically got involved in being part of "American Family" because of Gregory Nava and my respect for him and his talent, and also because I am of Latin heritage on my father's side, and yet I am sort of Midwestern-American Anglo-Saxon on my mother's side. 

I've had this kind of a split personality most of my life and my career, so this gave me an opportunity to really be in an all Latin cast with a Latin creator, director, writer, and sort of feel like finally I can embrace that part of my own history. 

****Raquel Welch ****[pbs.org interview]


 
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[You said a woman isn't a woman until she has stories. Are you, now, the woman you thought you would become?] 

Yeah! I am! I started feeling like a woman when I no longer had to bounce. I was never a successful ingenue. I was always too old; I was always too rough. So it was literally this feeling that I had to bounce. I had to stay up, up, up; keep it light, light, light. 

And when I could finally stand flat on my feet and let my voice drop, I was like, "Ohhh. This is what I've been waiting for!" So, I feel very happy with myself. ... I wish I could quit smoking. But, besides that, I'm happy. My story is not that interesting, when you really break it down, but you know what? I've made one.

   Frances McDormand   [Premiere, October, 2001]

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"When I was about 18, 19, I thought I was going mad. I really was so confused by who I was. That's typical for not just women, but young people [in general], to feel that way. I pushed myself through that period, thinking, 'I'll have gone through this suicidal bit and I'll feel OK.' It took a long time."

     Kate Winslet      [mrshowbiz.go.com]

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***Cameron Diaz / Skeletor


Celebrities' Schoolday Nicknames

Cameron Diaz, Denise Richards and Gisele Bundchen ... suffered cruel playground taunts
before they blossomed into the stars we know and love. ... a whole host of celebrities were
tortured at school with unpleasant nicknames.

Schoolyard tormentors called Diaz Skeletor, Richards Fish Lips and Bundchen Olive Oyl.

   [Celebrity News: 24th July 2001 wenn.com]
 

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When we hit puberty, and we start getting interested in all that, it becomes clear to us that what is 'important' is our look. 

Not our minds, not our creativity, not our hearts, not our souls. 

And the attention we pay to our looks takes so much away from the energy and time we could be using to become great thinkers, great artists, great scientists, all these things. 

The best way to fight back, to battle this limiting brand of thinking, is to celebrate your individuality. 

Take a look at what you value in other people and emulate that as a role model.

What is it about your best friend that you love? What would you say to your best friend? ... what people really respect and admire is true inviduality. 

I know I feel most insecure when I'm trying to please other people. I feel like a phoney when I'm trying to be something I'm not. 

I'd much rather just be myself. If I'm a dork, then I'm going to be it and enjoy it. Being who you are is really very fulfilling."

 Kate Dillon  [extrahip.com - Spring 2000]

*related pages:..........body image..........eating disorders

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I've probably gone as far as I can with that particular genre. I was locked into it. It starts to get irritating, you know. It's not been easy wearing the mantle of America's Sweetheart for so long. I have realized for some time that there is a limit to how long a girl can continue to play the cute and adorable card. 

  Meg Ryan[Reuters March 7 2002]

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The people who love their craft and see themselves as artists, and carry that identity through and study each day... are the people who thrive. To me, that's the only definition of success that matters. ... 

Successful people are able to sustain their identity as separate from their profession and what's happening to them. 

That's particularly important in the arts, where what happens to you bears only faint correlation to your talent.

Robert Maurer, PhD - from article The Vision Thing  by Karen Kondazian

 


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"The gifted are by nature emotionally sensitive. In our studies at the Gifted Development Center,
we have found that this characteristic appears in the first few years of life and remains with
the individual throughout life."   Linda Kreger Silverman, Ph.D.
*related pages:**giftedness characteristics *** *intensity / sensitivity
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more:**identity : page 1....identity : page 3.....identity : page 4 : quotes / personality typing / articles / books..........*

*related pages:**body image.........eccentricity.........early life..........androgyny / gender

.................self-esteem / self concept.........the shadow self

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