relationships: teen / young adult......
Talent Development Resources --..home page...site map
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 from book: Goth: Identity, Style and Subculture |
GothicMatch largest dating service solely for Gothic singles. Matchmaking, dating and personals. Find love relationship, friendship, romance... |
 Influenced by Roman Catholic iconographic art, punk rock and Edward Gorey, Liz McGrath is one of her generation's most unique and prolific artists.... > more on the shadow self 4 |
 .. .. Drawing from interviews with over 400 girls, I argue that girlfighting is not a biological necessity, but a protective strategy and an avenue to power learned and nurtured in early childhood and perfected over time. Lyn Mikel Brown - from her Colby College page |
For
some time, reality TV, talk shows, soap-operas, and sitcoms have turned
their spotlights on women and girls who thrive on competition and
nastiness.
What does this say about the way our culture views girlhood? How much do these portrayals affect the way girls view themselves? In Girlfighting, psychologist and educator Lyn Mikel Brown scrutinizes the way our culture nurtures and reinforces this sort of meanness in girls. She argues that the old adage "girls will be girls" -- gossipy, competitive, cliquish, backstabbing -- and the idea that fighting is part of a developmental stage or a rite-of-passage, are not acceptable explanations. Instead, she asserts, girls are discouraged from expressing strong feelings and are pressured to fulfill unrealistic expectations, to be popular, and struggle to find their way in a society that still reinforces gender stereotypes and places greater value on boys. from NYU Press page about the book :
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Romola Garai..hit on a novel way of deciding which career path she should take -- she went travelling on her own.
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..The English "I Capture the Castle" beauty, 20, admits she was unsure about whether to persevere with acting when the roles dried up early on. ....
She says, "I didn't work for several months. It kind of drove me mad for a while. I went to Tuscany on my own and plodded around with a rucksack.
"I flew to Florence and then toured. I had never travelled on my own before.
..
.."I got followed home once, and that was kind of scary, but other than that I spent the time walking, eating and reading on my own.
"It gave me a chance to think and consider what I wanted. I decided to hang in there and hope."
[contactmusic.com 27/05/2003]
photos of Katey (Romola Garai) and
Javier (Diego Luna) in
Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004)
from Lions Gate Films site
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Romola Garai says that playing a heartbroken character [in I Capture The Castle] hit too close to home. "Thank God I'm not in love now," 20-year-old Garai told USA Today. "That awful emotion! No one should ever fall in love. It just takes over your entire existence. I'm happily, beautifully, blissfully single."
[USA Today August 01, 2003]
Romola Garai, Henry Thomas in "I Capture the Castle" (2003)"I love, I have loved, I will love" - tagline for the movie
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I don't think really that the sexuality is what's brave about the film. I think what's brave about the role is that it's about a young woman who loves with all of herself and gives all of herself away. I think that's what is really brave, because when you love like that and that person leaves you, then there's nothing left that you held back.
There's no safety-net, there's no wall, no extra bit of yourself that you held back, so for me that the scary and challenging part of the character, not really that it happened to be a woman that she was getting it off with.
Piper Perabo
zap2it.com interview Jul 20, 2001 - about Lost & Delirious [dvd] / photo: Perabo, left, and Jessica Pare
My parents were quite strict -- thank God. My parents saved me from making the really dumb mistakes that so many young, successful people make. I was raised in different ways. Each parent took their own cultural angle with me. My father raised me very Indian.
My mother raised me very... carefully. She always valued my own opinions, needs, and values -- where my father seemed to already have the answers.
My mother is still very vocal with her feelings and lessons. My father is quite the strong, silent type.
He speaks without speaking ? and sometimes it’s deafening. He has taught me to live by the simple truths of life. ...
My mother.. has been very wise with raising me -- all the while allowing my independence to develop. She helped me to become the woman that I am today. ........Saira Mohan
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..Saira Mohan is a professional model, studied Sociology and film at New York University, paints, and is studying acting. // quotes and photo from official site saira.com
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| Mother/daughter
and husbands and wives represent the most common form of psychic
parasites
or energy vampires.
Ramona was a classic "stage mother" to her 14 year old daughter Charlene. Charlene landed jobs as a model and acted in commercials. She had bit parts on television shows from time to time. The only problem was that Charlene hated "the business." She just wanted to be a normal teenager. Ramona would not hear of it. Ramona pressured Charlene into modeling at the ripe young age of five. ... Charlene's every movement and activity was controlled by her mother. Exercise, diet, friends and hobbies were never a "free choice" for Charlene. Ramona dictated to her daughter and hustled her way with every casting director, photographer and modeling agency contact. ... [Her family physician].. found nothing medically wrong with Charlene, but expressed great concern over this teenager's depression and loss of appetite. ... I immediately spotted the problem and had a long talk with Ramona prior to initiating hypnotic psychic protection procedures with Charlene. ... Charlene progressed nicely. She was protected from her mother's psychic attacks and regained control over her life. ... |
 .. .. from article
Are You Being Attacked Psychically In Your Daily Life?
photo:
"Sealy Sikes - $1000 Cash Winner" - from Universal
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*related article: Energy Vampires by Judith Orloff, MD -- on page: relationships: page 3*~ ~ ~ ~
from article: The Feminist Sorority Girl: Not a Contradiction - by Dianna Hunter English Sorority. This word strikes fear in the hearts of most feminists. We associate it with hazing, with archaic gender roles that make the Stepford wives look progressive, with prissy and superficial college goals, and with exclusive rush processes that demean women for being unattractive or assertive.
But as a feminist, why do we fear organizations composed entirely of women? We should have a little faith in each other. No doubt, some of these women must be making empowered choices.
an article from Blue Jean Online
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I went down to the beach and saw Kiki
She was, like, all "ehhhh" And I was, like, "whatever!"Then this chick comes up to me and she's all, like,
"Hey, aren't you that dude?" And I'm, like, "yeah, whatever!"So later I'm at the pool hall And this girl comes up
And she's, like, "awww" And I'm, like, "yeah, whatever!"Cuz this is my United States of Whatever! ....
Liam Lynch - United States of Whatever - from Fake Songs CD
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When I like a guy, sometimes I'll be sarcastic and that can backfire on me. Boys don't understand that I'm just trying to flirt. There was this hot guy who I really wanted to go out with. I threw in a couple of SAT-vocabulary type words during our conversation, and he said, 'You like to use big words, don't you?' Doing that is just kind of a fun game we play in my family. And when I told this guy that my upcoming movie Prozac Nation was based on Elizabeth Wurtzel's book, he said, 'I don't read books.' That was it for me.
Christina Ricci... [imdb.com Celebrity News: 30th May 2002]
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| Girls
and young women move through an encounter with patriarchal culture that
splits them psychologically along a number of dimensions.
It takes them away from the world they have lived in, which is a world of women and girls, and says, "Your alignment now in order to find relationship has to be with men or else you will be considered deviant." As a young woman, you suddenly find yourself in a place - your own body - that is vulnerable to objectification. You now have looks; you're now looked at in ways that are often very frightening, and you have to manage your body in a very complicated way in order to be able to not attract too much attention and yet attract enough to be able to have relationships. So all of what happens to girls as they become women we understand within the context of patriarchy. from What Is Enlightenment? interview www.wie.org with Elizabeth Debold, a consultant to the Ms. Foundation, a member of the Harvard Project on Women's Psychology and Girls' Development, and coauthor of Mother Daughter Revolution: From Good Girls to Great Women /photo: Cindy Sherman: Untitled Film Still #15 [1978] |
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In the end, I think that "Chance" [her film] became sort of my take on relationships. It's so hard to be an independent woman. You want to assert yourself and have control over how the relationship works on one hand, but you also want to be loved and supported unconditionally as a feminine being. So there's this strange dichotomy happening in your head and you end up making weird, sometimes wrong decisions, just because you're so confused inside.
Amber Benson - from revolutionSF interview
Benson is producer, director, writer, and one of the cast of her film Chance
| Between
the time you grow out of childhood and the day you get married - what
do
you do? Sit and pine? Mix around and force the issue? Swim in the sea
of
romantic hoping? Plunge into the forgetfulness of work? Play safe? Play
with fire? Oh, it's a problem to be a girl...
What to do during that anxious in-between? ... These years of young womanhood are the most trying of all... I think a girl often feels she isn't actually living, but just suspended in life. Of course she sometimes has the power to alter the situation. But how... and should she? With me the trouble is that I don't know whether to use my heart or my head as a guide... or the exact proportion of each. I often realize that I had better use my head, but on the other hand, it's my heart that I want to take care of. ******[Piper Laurie******[Modern Screen Magazine, January., 1952] |
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A
lot of girls (at the party) were making a big deal about things that
teenage
girls make a big deal out of, like guys. ... I had been going out with
Jeff, and he's kind of popular, too. I know this sounds really shallow,
but people told me it's kind of like the Barbie-and-Ken relationship.
At
our school, being popular is, for a girl, looking the best, having the
best clothes, being liked by a lot of the guys. And for the guys, it's
being kind of the 'jock,' having a whole bunch of girls chasing after
you.
This year, relationships are getting a lot more meaningful. Last year, (Jeff and I) went out and we didn't know each other that well. But this year, we were like best friends. When you've got a serious relationship with a guy at thirteen, it means you can really, really relate to him. I've been approached by people who think I'm older. Maybe because of the makeup, the way I dress, and, generally, the way I look makes me kind of uncomfortable, because I might look older than I actually am, but underneath it all, I'm only thirteen. It's kind of scary. It's a hard feeling to not know where you fit in yet. - Hannah, age 13
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Alison Lohman on some themes
in "White Oleander"
"White Oleander" follows 15-year-old Astrid Magnussen (Alison Lohman) on her arduous journey to adulthood after her domineering mother, Ingrid (Michelle Pfeiffer), is convicted of poisoning her lover. Because her mother gave in to jealousy and rage, Astrid's formative years are spent bouncing from one loony foster home to another. Ingrid is unlikely to be freed any time soon but her tentacles reach far beyond the prison's walls. Astrid tries to squeeze every ounce of love she can from her foster mothers but, at first, at least, she's a mere appendage of Ingrid.
"I felt as if I knew what Astrid was going through, because, at that age, my mother was everything I wanted to be, too," says the gifted Lohman, who, despite recently turning 23, convincingly plays Astrid from age 15 to 18. "When Ingrid was taken away from her, Astrid was a blank slate, without any idea of who she was. It was as if she had been forced to grow up in this cave, where Ingrid could control her thoughts and dictate the rules that would govern her life."
Lohman believes "White Oleander" holds a message for teenagers: "Instead of becoming embittered, hardened and pessimistic by hard challenges, they can face the world with their fists up," she said. "You don't have to let people mold you, but there are things you take from all the people you meet." [nydailynews.com article Oct 2002]
****the movie is adapted from the novel White Oleander by Janet Fitch
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| You
also have
to be very careful about what you say. Anything that could sound even
remotely
rude, will make people think you are stuck up or conceited.
I remember when I first started in the business, I lost a lot of friends. Some were jealous, some were annoyed at the fact that I was an actress. Even people who didn't like me before I started acting, wanted to be my friend because I was "Somebody." I felt used in a way, after a while, it was hard to tell who my real friends were. I would miss social events all the time. Which may not sound like a big deal, but if you've been working all week and haven't seen your friends, a birthday party or a trip to the beach becomes exceptionally important. ****from article Hollywood is Hard by Amber Tamblyn |
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| Unlike the
characters in the
movie [Wet Hot American Summer, a spoof of early '80s sex comedies],
who
constantly sneak in and out of one another's cabins, Janeane
Garofalo
says she never had a fling
at summer camp.
"I didn't even have a romance at all besides crushes until my junior year of college," the 36-year-old insists. "I'm such a late bloomer. I was so socially awkward." [imdb.com Celebrity News: 30th July 2001]
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American Beauty star Mena Suvari is married to a man 17 years older than her - but believes if it's good enough for Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, it's good enough for her. The sexy actress, 22, is married to cinematographer Robert Brinkmann, 39, but says the age gap is not a problem and her husband is a work of art. She says, "What is age? It doesn't matter. I just believe that if I were Catherine and ten years older than I am, and me and Robert still had the same age difference nobody would care. But the fact that I'm in my early 20s makes it some big shocking scandal!" ... [imdb.com Celeb News Oct 5 2001]
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| According
to the research... a culture of romance which is virulently inimical to
female achievement still thrives in coeducational colleges and
universities.
By the time a gifted young woman has graduated from college, she is likely to have lowered her estimate of her own intelligence, to have changed majors to a less challenging major, and to have lowered her career aspirations. She is much more likely than her gifted male peers to have abandoned her math and science interests, no matter how strong they once were... After college, she is more likely to follow her boyfriend or husband to his job than to have him follow her. She is the one most likely to have major child rearing responsibilities. And although it is now the norm, gifted women often combine work and family, gifted women continue to be more likely to give up full time work for part-time, and to give up leadership positions than are gifted men. from article: Gender and Genius by Barbara Kerr, Ph.D.
|
 Winona
Ryder and others |
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*related pages****relationships: teen/young adult : page 2****sexuality: teen/young adult****relationships*[main page]
****home page :: Talent Development Resources**----**site contents******books etc
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*---Women & Talent ------Teen / Young Adult talent***
"It took me a long time to learn how to deal
with men." 
Did
you ever have a high school boyfriend? 
....Lyn
Mikel Brown. 
