self-coaching......... .Talent Development Resources --..home page...site map

Barbara Corcoran is one of the most successful real estate entrepreneurs (her New York City company had over $5 billion in sales in 2003). In Psychology Today [Dec 2005] she says, “My entire career has been one long attempt to prove to the world once and for all that I am not stupid.”  She was dyslexic and could not read until seventh grade.

Her site bio says she got straight D’s in high school and college and had over twenty jobs by the time she was twenty-three. She also says in the magazine article, “I don’t think you ever heal the wounds of your deficits as a kid. But it’s been my greatest advantage.” > more in article Getting out of school alive - by Douglas Eby > photo from her book: If You Don't Have Big Breasts, Put Ribbons on Your Pigtails: And Other Lessons I Learned from My Mom

Your problem is how you’re going to spend this one odd and precious life you’ve been issued. Whether you’re going to live it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over people and circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it, and find out the truth about who you are. Anne Lamott - in her book Plan B > related topic :  change / growth / coaching sites.

How to be an artist: Stay loose. Learn to watch snails. Plant impossible gardens. Make little signs that say "yes" and post them all over your house. Make friends with uncertainty. Henry Miller - quoted in book Sacred Journeys in a Modern World by Roger Housden

~ ~ ~ ~

If you want to raise your life to a different octave, I suggest you start decisively but start small.  You cannot live without touching others. Regardless of what you choose, your choices have a consequence. ... Exercise care about your choice.

Then think. What am I doing with my time? What do I need to do to express who I am and actualize what I have to give? Pick one new thing to do each day that expresses the intention to raise your standard of living. Kenneth W. Christian, Ph.D. - from his newsletter September, 2005 - see his site Maximum Potential Project  > author of book Your Own Worst Enemy: Breaking the Habit of Adult Underachievement

~ ~ ~ ~

subconscious thinking In his entertaining and revealing book, "Blink," Malcolm Gladwell talks about an amazing phenomenon. He describes an experiment in which he gives people a series of five words, and asks them to make four-word sentences out of them.  An example might be, "shoes give replace the old" and you might make the sentence, "Replace the old shoes." There are ten such lists.  He says, "After you finished that test - believe it or not - you would have walked out of my office and down the hall more slowly than you walked in.

Why? Scattered throughout the list are words like "old, worried, lonely, grey, Bingo, and wrinkle." He says, "I was making the big computer in your brain think about the state of being old." Although you wouldn't notice it consciously, it would still affect your behaviour. ACTION: If your morning reading is the front section of a typical newspaper, how do you think that might be affecting your behaviour the rest of the day? As an experiment, find a positive book that you like (example: "Living Big" by Pam Grout) and for one week start each day by reading a few pages of that instead of the morning newspaper. Notice whether it has any impact on your attitude or behaviour... Jurgen Wolff - in his newsletter Aug/Sept 2005 - see his site brainstormnet.com > more about Blink" etc on  awareness / thinking

~ ~ ~ ~

UnHypnosis: How to Wake Up, Start Over, and Create the Life You're Meant to Live - by Dr. Steve Taubman  “In the midst of winter, I discovered within myself an invincible summer.” - Albert Camus I've reinvented myself more times than you can imagine, and life keeps getting better. I've been a physician, pilot, actor, musician, magician, trainer, author … and a hypnotist. I judge each new project on the following two criteria. First, will it help me touch the lives of others in a positive and constructive way? Second, will it be fun? > Steve Taubman - from Preface  “Steve Taubman has drawn upon his wealth of experience and profound knowledge to bring you a truly practical guidebook. UnHypnosis: How to Wake Up, Start Over, and Create the Life You Were Meant to Live will help you understand the things that have been limiting you and clear the way for breakthroughs. Buy it, read it and hang on. Your life is about to change.” > Michael Angier, Founder, SuccessNet

~ ~ ~ ~

I've always bristled when someone tells me to do it in "baby steps." My resistance to that phrase was powerful. What image comes to mind for "baby steps?" A tottering baby who is always falling down? One who finally stands up and takes a step or two, but doesn't get very far?

For me, it isn't very motivating. I, after all, want to make quantum leaps and forget everything in between, but then I'd be missing the now of the journey, wouldn't I? So I decided that instead of baby steps, I'll take kitten steps. Kittens take delicate little steps, but they also make a good leap now and then, and they have a whole lot of fun doing it ! Kaylen Bennett, M.A., C.S.L.C., creativity coach, in her chapter "Get Bemused" in the book Inspiring Creativity: An Anthology of Powerful Insights and Practical Ideas to Guide You to Successful Creating - by Rick Benzel (ed.)

~ ~ ~ ~

My cousin was on a yacht with a very wealthy man, and she asked him what would be the best piece of advice he could give her. He immediately said: "Don't dream too small." > from book The Millionaire Course: A Visionary Plan for Creating the Life of Your Dreams - by Marc Allen

~ ~ ~ ~

attention is essential The more attention you give to the past, the more you energize it, and the more likely you are to make a "self" out of it. Don't misunderstand: attention is essential, but not to the past. Give attention to the present; give attention to your behavior, to your reactions, moods, thoughts, emotions, fears, and desires as they occur in the present. ... You will observe that the future is usually imagined as either better or worse than the present. If the imagined future is better, it gives you hope or pleasurable anticipation. If it is worse, it creates anxiety. Both are illusory. Eckhart Tolle - from his book The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

> image: "They're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this... If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again." Scarlett O'Hara (Vivien Leigh) in Gone with the Wind (1939)

~ ~ ~ ~

.. ..creativity coach Eric Maisel, PhD on using cognitive therapy techniques You can use the following simple three-step procedure when you act as your own cognitive therapist: First, you notice your thoughts and identify those that don't serve you. This means growing more aware of your linguistic tricks and understanding what your self-talk actually signifies.

Second, you dispute those self-sabotaging thoughts. You say - silently or out loud - "No, I don't buy that!" Third, you substitute a new, useful thought. Here is how the process would sound: "I can't write if I outline. Outlining kills the creative spark in me." "No! It's just that I'm feeling anxious about outlining my article and want an excuse to run from the task." "I can write with an outline, and I can write without an outline. I can even write in the shower with a bar of soap! I can do whatever is necessary..." > from book : Coaching the Artist Within : Advice for Writers, Actors, Visual Artists, and Musicians - by Eric Maisel, PhD > image from page counseling / therapy

~ ~ ~ ~

Imagine your ideal scene It all starts with a dream. The essential first step is to dream and to imagine: Imagine five years have passed, and you are living your ideal life: doing what you want to do, being who you want to be, having what you want to have. Allow your imagination to wander... Encourage yourself, the way you would encourage a child, to play with different possibilities that could await you in life - if you but dare to dream. What are you doing, ideally? What kind of work and career do you have? What do you do for relaxation and inspiration?

What do you have? What have you accomplished? Where do you live? What does your home look like? What is your family life like? What is the quality of your life like? How would someone close to you describe you? What are your physical and emotional states? Your mental and emotional states? > from the book The Millionaire Course: A Visionary Plan for Creating the Life of Your Dreams - by Marc Allen > image : Self-Portrait in the Green Bugatti - related book : Tamara De Lempicka

~ ~ ~ ~

.. ..Strategies for Overcoming Fear by Judith Orloff M.D. 1. Try not to obsess on fear -- we are addicted to fear. Replace it with a positive thought or action.  2. Avoid energy vampires, people who suck you dry with their fear or doom and gloom attitude. Be around optimistic friends who’re trying to make a positive difference -- not people who are in the poor me, victim mode. 3. Take a News Fast -- Taking breaks from violent television images can increase your positive energy and will prevent “technodespair,” exhaustion from information overload. Go out for a walk, breathe fresh air, feel the sun on your shoulders instead.

4. Meditate to stay positive. For three minutes, meditate quietly on a positive image such as your daughter’s face, a flower, a beautiful sunset, world peace. This will build positive energy and decrease fear. 5. Laugh at something -- a funny movie, jokes, life- -- or just be plain silly. Laughter increases positive energy, elevates the immune system and endorphins, and decreases depression. 6. Anonymous giving builds positive energy. Giving to another person shifts negativity and fear -- especially important during these stressful times. Help an old lady across the street. Hold the elevator for someone. Bring a friend a peach. 7. Spend time in nature and breathe in the beauty. The power of nature will replenish you. 8. Practice Self-Compassion. Be kind to yourself during the week of 9-11 especially. Practicing self compassion dissipates fear, negativity and builds positive energy. **from book : Positive Energy : Ten Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress, and Fear Into Vibrance, Strength and Love - by Judith Orloff M.D. image from THX 1138 (The George Lucas Director's Cut) (1971) DVD

~ ~ ~ ~

Martin Seligman.. has described an effective technique for countering "catastrophic thoughts." The trick is first to recognize the despairing idea -- "I'm the weakest employee in the department, and I'm probably going to get fired" -- and then check it against real evidence, as if the statement were being uttered by another person trying to make you miserable.  "Did anyone actually say I was doing consistently poor work? So my last project fell apart -- yet the one before that was praised highly. Given the expectations, everyone in the department is struggling." By arguing with yourself in this way, Seligman has shown, you can separate beliefs from facts, defusing many pessimistic assumptions by editing them according to logic and evidence. In effect, you act as your own therapist, talking hard sense to yourself precisely when your thoughts begin to darken. ... from article Searching for a happiness strategy by Benedict Carey [LA Times, Dec 9, 2002] Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment - by Martin E. Seligman, PhD.

~ ~ ~ ~

from book: The Joy Diet - by Martha Beck .. a menu of ten behaviors you can add to your way of living and thinking to enhance every day's journey through the unpredictable terrain of your existence. The ten menu items are: Nothing: Do nothing for fifteen minutes a day. Stop mindlessly chasing goals and figure out which goals are worth going after. Truth: Create a moment of truth to help you unmask what you're hiding - from others and from yourself. Desire: Identify, articulate, and explore at least one of your heart's desires - and learn how to let yourself want what you want. Creativity: Learn six new ways to develop at least one new idea to help you obtain your heart's desire. Risk: Take one baby step toward reaching your goal. The only rule is that it has to scare the pants off you. Treats: Give yourself a treat for every risk you take, and two treats just because you're you. No exceptions. No excuses.

.. .. Play: Take a moment to remember your real life's work and differentiate it from the games you play to achieve it. Then play wholeheartedly. Laughter: Laugh at least thirty times a day. Props encouraged. Connection: Use your Joy Diet skills to interact with someone who matters to you. Feasting: Enjoy at least three square feasts a day, with or without food. ...The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life

~ ~ ~ ~

Here are 5 ways you can reconnect to your BIG mind:  1. Write out 1 paragraph about what your life would look like if you were contributing your greatest gift/talent to the world.  2. Make a commitment to stop doing at least 1 thing that is preventing you from living a fulfilling life.  3. Write down at least 3 dreams you have and want to make real.  4. Make a commitment to spend at least 5 minutes this week acknowledging your accomplishments last year. Schedule these 5 minutes in your planner.

5. Think about moments you had this week when you were most fulfilled. These are magical moments or moments that touched the core of your being.  Begin a tradition to write these moments down on a journal so that you can look at it and realize how grateful you are and should be.  Ruben Perczek, Ph.D. - from his article January 2004 - Are You a Peak Performer - on his site: Perczek Performance Institute ...The Zen of Peak Performance: Meditation Practices for Focus, Clarity, and Calm - by Ruben Perczek

~ ~ ~ ~

"Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better." Emile Coué  [1857–1926] French psychotherapist. His teaching achieved a vogue in England and the United States in the 1920s for his work on autosuggestion or self-hypnosis.

~ ~ ~ ~

You’ve got all these books on self help, getting to know yourself, doing the right thing, eating the so-called right foods, even down to what books you have on your shelves. People are encouraged to look to themselves first as opposed to being a part of society. Samantha Morton - shadows.wall.net interview > photo from "In America" (2002) [Fox Searchlight] > related pages :...change / growth...nurturing talent : programs

~ ~ ~ ~

****home page :: Talent Development Resources**-*site contents*** **books etc

  ---******* *--- Women & Talent ------Teen / Young Adult talent