Gloria Steinem ... [Modern Maturity, May/Jun99]
book: Moving Beyond Words video biography: Gloria Steinem
photo from book:*Wise Women: A Celebration of Their Strength, Spirit, and Grace by Joyce Tenneson
![[Image]](bluline2.gif){kind=small}
Talent Development Resources..................social reactions / interactions : page 2
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| I'm much more likely today to say what I think and not worry about hurting somebody's feelings. I still have the female psychological disease of knowing what other people are feeling better than knowing what I'm feeling. I only felt real when I was helping other people. That makes you useful, but you fail to ask the revolutionary question: 'What do I think?'
Gloria Steinem ... [Modern Maturity, May/Jun99]
photo from book:*Wise Women: A Celebration of Their Strength, Spirit, and Grace by Joyce Tenneson |
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According to an LA Times story, women in entertainment are more vulnerable to sexual harassment than in other industries. The AWNY study.. indicated 35% of the professional women polled had some personal experience with sexual harassment, though most of them didn't officially report it.
from article Women in Film : Identity and Power - by Douglas Eby
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"As a star, you're constantly in a false environment. Because you're needed in a very specific and immediate way, people are ready to accommodate you in a specific and immediate way, with an appearance of genuine care and concern -- which is, in fact, generally not true." Sharon Stone [Los Angeles Mag., Mar.98]
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You can be up to your boobies in white satin, with gardenias in your hair and no sugar cane for miles, but you can still be working on a plantation. Billie Holiday (1915 - 1959)
quotes from official site / photo from book : Women of Our Time
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Traditionally, women who excel have had to place themselves carefully, because the journey is so fraught with disrespect, not being allowed in, all the lack of acceptance, and old traditional wounds. But it doesn't have to be that way.
Jodie Foster - from interview by Douglas Eby
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some ways to handle being around "negative people" - from book The Survivor Personality by Al Siebert, Ph.D. : * Withhold attention. Attention is the big payoff for people with pessimistic, negative attitudes, so stop responding...
* Be "selectively impolite."
* Say, "You may be right," then change the subject.
* Ask them to be considerate. "I can't handle that kind of talk right now..." ... "This is bothering me. Please stop."
* Tell them your mind is your territory and ask them to stop broadcasting their complaints into your territory.
* Say "You're wrong," then be quiet. // * Outdo. Say "Yes that tv really is awful. I'm throwing it out!"
* Ask them to put the complaint in writing. Then read it back to them.photo: Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson in Anger Management
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| I
base all my counseling on the premise that each of us has these two sides:
the
essential self and the social self.
The essential self contains several sophisticated compasses that continuously point toward your North Star. The social self is the set of skills that actually carry you toward this goal. Your essential self wants passionately to become a doctor; the social self struggles through organic chemistry and applies to medical school. Your essential self yearns for the freedom of nature; your social self buys the right backpacking equipment. .... This system functions beautifully as long as the social and essential selves are communicating freely with each other and working in perfect synchrony. However, not many people are lucky enough to experience such inner harmony. ... the vast majority of us put other people in charge of charting our course through life. We never even consult our own navigational equipment; instead, we steer our lives according to the instructions of people who have no idea how to find our North Stars. Naturally, they end up sending us off course. |
.. .. Life design is the process of reconnecting them. We'll start this process by clearly articulating the differences between the two selves, and understanding how communication between them broke down. Martha Beck - from her article The Disconnected Self painting : The Masked Ball - by Jaka, J&W Gallery site
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| If
we accept the notion that some children are gifted, then we have to account
for what happens to these children when they grow up.
After all, it's not as though these former children slough off their giftedness like discarded skin at the age of sixteen or eighteen or twenty-one. Gifted children do grow up, and they become gifted adults. ... What studies have shown is that gifted children perceive the world in fundamentally different ways than other children. It is as if their sensory apparatus is more finely tuned to detect input that others filter out or ignore. This heightened receptivity is present from the earliest stages of development and later gives rise to the urge to perfect. ... I call these two underlying components of giftedness, heightened receptivity and the urge to perfect, "First Nature" traits... |
 It is the desire of the gifted person to live authentically and not suppress the First Nature traits that produce what some consider aberrant behavior. ...
In the course of working with gifted adults over the years I've discovered that they've learned that they can't express their First Nature traits without censure. As a result, they modify their behavior in one of two ways - by either collapsing it or exaggerating it.
photo:
The Walk to Paradise Garden
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There are millions of unidentified individuals of high potential lost within the fabric of a society that seems to have issued an edict against knowing oneself, being oneself, and expressing oneself fully. Mary-Elaine Jacobsen, Psy.D. - author of The Gifted Adult
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 ...Woman's
Inhumanity to Woman -- by Phyllis Chesler In "Woman's Inhumanity to Woman," pioneering feminist Phyllis Chesler [left] dares to talk about the ways women -- including famous feminists -- stab each other in the back. Phyllis Chesler, author of the pioneering 1972 feminist exposé of the psychiatric profession, "Women and Madness," has produced a mammoth volume, based on 20 years of research, arguing that other women can often be a girl's worst enemies. The supporting evidence in "Woman's Inhumanity to Woman" comprises primate and anthropological research, workplace studies, sociological data, original interviews, memoir, even literary criticism and fairy tale analysis -- all documenting the usually underhanded and often devastating ways that women attack each other. ... Groups of women tend to espouse an "illusion of equality" (and uniformity) in which variations from the norm are seen as dangerous betrayals. |
 "Any expression of anger or the introduction of a tabooed subject may result in the group's scapegoating of one or two of its members," she observes.Because one of the biggest taboos is against any overt display of female aggression, these attacks are invariably covert, indirect and maddeningly unexplained... "Most women have a repertoire of techniques with which to weaken, disorient, humiliate or banish other female group members," Chesler writes... Chesler asks herself and her readers to consider how women might unlearn some of their worst habits, and comes up with the refreshing suggestion that men can teach us a thing or two. Specifically, she urges women to acknowledge that aggression and competition, even among women, is an inevitable part of social life and that the healthiest way of dealing with it is directly and decisively -- no backstabbing and grudge-nursing. from "Backstabbers" by Laura Miller, Salon.com March 29, 2002 |
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Though men and women are much more alike than different, there are distinctions that affect how we perform and achieve, and relate to competition.
As "Fried Green Tomatoes" co-producer Anne Marie Gillen once noted, "If you look at how little boys play on a team, there's a leader, they pick you or they don't pick you, they go out there and beat each other up, they win the game and it's over and they put their arms around each other and go on.
"But little girls play one-on-one (and think), she's my best friend - I don't want to hurt her feelings, because if she leaves, I'm alone."
Psychotherapist Laura Morris, who works with a number of women in the industry, has another viewpoint:
"We are brought up to compete with other women. They are 'The Enemy' - they're going to get something we're after. Men have a closer bonding...they aren't that competitive with each other... I think we make our own glass ceiling by not being very nice to each other."
from article: Women in Film : Identity and Power - by Douglas Eby
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