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Perfectionism can be an unhealthy way to try to satisfy distorted ego needs or defuse shame or low self-esteem, for example – but it is a simple name for what can be a complex set of drives and attitudes that can also fuel our pursuit of excellence and motivate social change. Hilary Swank: “The great [...]
“I can be very hard on myself. I convince myself that I’m fooling people. Or, I convince myself that people like the book for the wrong reasons.” Jonathan Safran Foer – about his novel Everything Is Illuminated, which made The New York Times best-seller list. He also commented, “The writing itself is no big deal. [...]
“Were it not for perfectionism, we would be in short supply of all those myriad human activities we deem extraordinary, excellent, outstanding or great in quality.” Psychologist Stephen A. Diamond, Ph.D. continues: “Once upon a time perfectionism was perceived not as neurosis, but rather as a sign of commitment, caring, and devotion to one’s work…” [...]
Many talented artists share traits such as perfectionism and a need to “get it right” – and also high sensitivity, which can make fame and attention very stressful, even overwhelming. See the post Kristen Stewart and shyness and sensitivity for one example. In her article Jesse Eisenberg on playing Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg in ‘The [...]
The internal vision I have of my novel seems so superior to what I’ve actually written that I’m often paralyzed into inaction. I took about a year off from working on it – that sounds so much better than saying I just couldn’t face it. Now I’m back in the fray and struggling with the [...]
Talented, by Hugh MacLeod – “Only Talented People Fret About Mediocrity” “One of my favorite cartoons ever is a strip from Charlie Brown. “Linus, the smartest of the Peanuts gang, has just received his first “B” ever on his report card, and now here he is, age six, fretting away about not getting into the [...]
“You need to play the notes correctly,” she said in a small voice. “Of course.” I paused. “But is that the music?” “Many great musicians,” I continued, “have said that if you demand that they play all the notes correctly they can’t also make music.” … “I keep hearing ‘No heart!’ ‘No heart!’” Tears came. [...]
“If it’s worth doing it’s worth doing well.” Sounds good, but does the pressure to do something ‘right’ or ‘well’ stimulate us to experiment and grow? As an invention, it doesn’t exactly qualify for a patent, but the energy and wit that inspired the tongue in cheek electric pencil in the photo is evidence of [...]
Is it always a good idea to do the best you can do? Moreover, can we ever be sure that it’s really our best? These questions came up recently in a therapy session and catalyzed my looking more deeply into the nature and implications of this common expression. The man with whom I was working [...]
Gifted adults often struggle with the same challenges as gifted children. What factors help adults identified as gifted when young to continue to achieve? Educator Carol McGaughey comments about these issues: I think one area that needs to be addressed is what happens to these gifted individuals as they grow into adults. Is the folk [...]
Perfectionism is for many people an aspect of being gifted and multi-talented, and can be an integral part of the pursuit of excellence and high achievement. But being perfectionistic in unhealthy ways can make us feel continually dissatisfied or anxious, and hold us back from finishing – or even starting – creative projects. It may [...]
“I was at dance school doing about 35 hours practice a week until I was 14. Then ballet started to grate – the whole idea of trying to attain perfection started to ruin the experience.” Mia Wasikowska (“Alice in Wonderland”) What’s so bad about perfection? Isn’t it what we all strive for? In her interview, [...]
Mia Wasikowska portrayed troubled, suicidal teen gymnast Sophie in the outstanding HBO psychotherapy drama series “In Treatment.” Her work made Sophie one of the most powerful, conflicted and emotionally complex teen characters I have seen. She was both fascinating and wrenching in her distraught intensity. In a magazine interview about her lead role in Tim [...]
Are actors and other performers at greater risk for body image issues and eating disorders than people who are not “in the spotlight”? Maybe. What has interested me in this topic over the years is how many highly talented women – especially actors – have talked about having body issues and eating disorders now or [...]
In her Creativity Portal article, You’re Not Mad, You’re Creative, Orna Ross invites us to rid ourselves of self-blame and criticism stemming from misunderstanding our creative abilities. With the help of an insightful self-test, we can revision our past and present experiences, and recognize, nurture and protect our gifts that may otherwise seem disruptive and [...]
It can be a delicate balancing act to actively pursue excellence without getting stymied by the often distorting idea that if it isn’t perfect, it isn’t right, so throw it out. Or at least beat yourself up because you didn’t achieve it. But is there value in the pursuit? As Harvard professor Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D. [...]
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Site author: Douglas Eby, M.A./Psychology, is a writer and researcher on the psychology of creative expression and personal growth, especially for high ability adults. He is publisher of the Talent Development Resources series of sites.
