That cheap slut.
I’ve never forgiven Mom for that. ["Married with Children" 1987]
Calling a girl or woman names like slut or tramp may be flip and comic in a movie or on tv, but in real life it may be hurtful bullying, damaging to self concept, identity and confidence.
“I don’t think it is ever appropriate to use the word [slut or whore] with teenage girls,” said Leora Tanenbaum [author of Slut! : Growing Up Female With a Bad Reputation], who said she was stigmatized by the word in the ninth grade. [More on the page sexuality: teen/young adult3]
In her new film Black Snake Moan [MySpace site], Christina Ricci plays Rae, a victim of childhood sexual abuse, who is found by a blues guitarist (Samuel L. Jackson) after she is brutally beaten.
In a magazine interview, Ricci commented about her character, “She’s a damaged girl. Jackson, who fears he may be accused of the attack, is the only one who doesn’t use her for sex.
“And in her fevered dreams, she sees the man who first abused her.”
“I’ve seen a final cut, and I really love it,” she adds. “I feel so strongly about victims of rape and incest. You see these girls people judge as sluts, but if you’re exploited as a child, you exploit yourself as you grow up.
“Yet we still point fingers. I’m glad we’re bringing this out in the open.” [Parade, Feb 18, 2007]
The book Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay, PhD explains that “Low self-esteem that is characterological usually had roots in early experiences of abuse or abandoment. The sense of ‘wrongness’ is more global and tends to affect many areas of life.”
How we regard ourselves is a key element in how fully we realize our talents. And self-regard may to a great extent be affected or infected by others’ opinions.
But as Elizabeth Mika notes in her article What Is Wrong With Feeling Good?, “Self-esteem needs to be based on your authentic feelings and actions. If who you are and how you behave is way off from who you would like to be (and you are perceptive enough to notice the difference), your self-esteem will undoubtedly ‘suffer.’ But there is a message there letting you know that some extra, or perhaps a different sort of effort is required on your part.”
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